Comments on: Sally Ride's sister, on the quiet acknowledgement of her orientation: "I hope it makes it easier for kids growing up gay."

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 20:01:00 +0000

She’s being lauded as a gay hero for being an astronaut, but the message that she sent is that you can be an astronaut if you stay in the closet and don’t make waves. It’s an utterly destructive message to LGBT youth.

By: thao

thao — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 11:05:00 +0000

That’s the same thing as saying, “Sure [NAME] was a good person but they should have given all their money to charity”. She’s not obligated to publicly fight for everyone, just like no one is obligated to spend their whole life helping the needy. You do what you can and you look after you and yours. It’s a balance. She lived her life, her closest acquaintances knew about her private life, and she was happy with her life partner. It doesn’t make her less of a person than someone who fought all the fights. It would shameful to suggest otherwise.

EDIT: Except *she* didn’t send any sort of message. She’s dead and it’s other people holding her up as a gay hero. And to them, maybe she was. Just because she chose to live a more private life, doesn’t mean she sent out a message that said “if you stay in the closet and don’t make waves, you can become an astronaut”. She chose to live privately because she chose to live privately. That’s all. Doesn’t make her any less or any better than someone else who lived a more public life.

By: Marc Mielke

Marc Mielke — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 04:34:00 +0000

“He punched a moon landing denier in the face. IN THE FACE!!!”

By: mattgarvey

mattgarvey — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 03:53:00 +0000

Makes you wonder what Buzz Ladrin’s obituary will hold.

By: mattgarvey

mattgarvey — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 03:29:00 +0000

Folks, let’s just call it quits and say that we’ll not beat up on the dead space hero for not wanting to do a cameo on Will and Grace. She’s already kicked my ass pretty hard in the life accomplishments category.

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 02:59:00 +0000

In six weeks, I’ll be celebrating my 40th anniversary of coming out of the closet and taking the consequences of being honest. Those of us who did come out and accepted those consequences are the reason that it’s possible for other people to come out today with less chance of having their lives ruined. People who stay in the closet can go to hell as far as I’m concerned.

By: mattgarvey

mattgarvey — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 02:45:00 +0000

Right on for her. I had no idea.

By: NelC

NelC — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 02:28:00 +0000

Antinous, that’s unfair. The whole scenario is unfair, since when we rewrite history we make up the rules for what works and what doesn’t. If Tetsubo wants to make an alternate world where Sally Ride came out and still got to be an astronaut and everybody loved her and she didn’t die of cancer and became president, that’s fine as a story, but he hasn’t got anything to back it up as a workable scenario except wishful thinking.

In this world Sally kept it in the closet. We don’t know what would have happened if she’d come out early on, but the chances are that she wouldn’t have become an astronaut and wouldn’t have become famous and would have ended up not influencing anyone at all. Thirty years ago wasn’t gay marriage time

By: GrrrlRomeo

GrrrlRomeo — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 01:45:00 +0000

Given that she wanted to inspire young girls and get them into science, she would not have had that opportunity had she been openly gay. Sad, but true. She would’ve been accused of trying to indoctrinate young girls into lesbianism. Too many people are suspicious of gay people being near kids.

By: oasisob1

oasisob1 — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 00:58:00 +0000

Given or nick, ‘Bear’ is a kickass name for someone who engages in badassery.

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 22:18:00 +0000

You want people to stay in the closet to avoid the possibility that someone might accuse you of being a lesbian?

By: BombBlastLightingWaltz

BombBlastLightingWaltz — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 22:09:00 +0000

It is ironic that her private business is any of ours. It does shed light on a social stigma. In any light, hats off to Astronaut Ride.

By: Adela Doiron

Adela Doiron — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 21:37:00 +0000

As someone who was a female science geek in school 20 years ago and got called a dike, then beaten up by both sexes for it simply because real girls do not do chemistry and calculus, Sally being out then would not have changed anything perhaps maybe have made it worse since she would have made the cliche of science girls are all lezbo butches true for the bigots.
I’m glad Sally had a quiet enough life to have both of her heart’s greatest loves for many years. It was enough for her to be an advocate for achievement in her field; she did not owe us poster child for GBLT as well.

By: EH

EH — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 21:36:00 +0000

Makes you wonder what Lindsay Graham’s obituary will hold.

By: Tetsubo Kanamono

Tetsubo Kanamono — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 20:56:00 +0000

But how much good could she have done if she had been out 20 years ago? An example for gay youth the world over. Now it is a footnote. One that will be simply ignored by those who most need to not ignore these things.

By: Nagurski

Nagurski — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 20:08:00 +0000

NASA is pretty stingy when it comes to benefits for ‘domestic partners.’
http://ohcm.gsfc.nasa.gov/benefits/DomesticPartners.htm

By: mccrum

mccrum — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:38:00 +0000

“Well, um, not her, I mean, she was gay but, a hero. And an astronaut. And, um, not one of THEM?”

By: Tribune

Tribune — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:32:00 +0000

Problem with “awesome” names is that they tend to make commentary and place expectations on the child before you actually know them. (that is beside the point of personal definitions of awesome) I have known a few people over the years with such names – some end up fitting well others tend to go by their second names.

Nicknames on the other hand one has a bit more influence and control over (or the universe just tags you with one you cannot remove)

By: Tess

Tess — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:29:00 +0000

Hopefully they had something set up legally so she’ll get, well, something.

**sigh**

By: Tess

Tess — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:28:00 +0000

Right. Just her sex.

By: Tess

Tess — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:27:00 +0000

Bit of both, really.

Statistically likely to be true, and also the more acceptable kind of ad hominem: the kind that points out that a person’s stated position and actions are different enough that their position loses some credibility.

By: Tess

Tess — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:20:00 +0000

No. No, it’s not too late.

Don’t cast aspersions on the person who chose to stay out of the public eye – semi-closeted – in life. Blame the society we’re in, not the people who have to figure out how to live in it.

That she quietly came out when she died should be respected. No one owes the world knowledge of their sexual orientation. It’s always a choice, to tell or not to tell, and a difficult choice. For the most part, I try not to judge those who make that choice differently than I did.
The exceptions, to me, are people in positions of power to make policy, who choose to make anti-LGBT policy; or people who promote anti-LGBT rhetoric from places of authority. When they’re having same-sex affairs on the side (as they so often are) I feel it’s reasonable to criticize their choices.

But Sally Ride? She did her work, she lived peacefully with her partner, she struggled with cancer, she died. She didn’t want to be a lesbian symbol in life; we can respect that. She was still gay, and we can respect that too.

By: Mordicai

Mordicai — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:13:00 +0000

Good thing there aren’t any major political figures who openly condemn gay rights as a menace while lauding Miz Ride. Oh what, there ARE? Woah, seems to me like those people– whoever they may be!– are really THE WORST.

By: Mordicai

Mordicai — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:13:00 +0000

No? Being dead doesn’t make her less heroic.

By: Mordicai

Mordicai — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:11:00 +0000

I mean, statistically likely, given divorce rates?

By: vonbobo

vonbobo — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 17:52:00 +0000

“Neither her cancer diagnosis nor her orientation were publicly shared, prior to her death.” “I hope it makes it easier for kids growing up gay that they know that another one of their heroes was like them.”
Isn’t that a little too late now?

By: Ari B.

Ari B. — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 17:42:00 +0000

Glancing at the article the first time, I misread “Tam” as “Tom,” and only just caught myself. Wow.

By: NelC

NelC — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 17:37:00 +0000

Given that this is NASA, and that Sally was a goddamned astronaut, what can be done? Could the chief bureaucrat at NASA decide to give Tam the benefits anyway? Would it require an act of Congress?

By: NelC

NelC — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 17:35:00 +0000

It’s an awesome name, and I’m a little disappointed that it’s a nickname and not a given name. (If I’d ever had children, I’m sure they would have hated whatever names I gave them.)

By: Geoduck

Geoduck — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 17:26:00 +0000

No, that was my thought too, “for that poor gal’s sake, please tell me that’s a nickname..”