Honey Boo Boo gets her own show on the Learning Channel

Discuss

121 Responses to “Honey Boo Boo gets her own show on the Learning Channel”

  1. B Timothy Creel says:

    Do they even pretend that TLC stands for The Learning Channel anymore? I used to love TLC and Discovery for all the documentaries, but they lost their way.

  2. Wild Rumpus says:

    I’ll start.

    The Ludicrous Channel?  Totally Lame Crap?  Change to TeeElCee? 

    C’mon Boingboing – what does it mean?

  3. geekzapoppin says:

    Her special juice is going to help her win; or so I’ve been told.

  4. AwesomeRobot says:

    I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

  5. chilero says:

    This must be on right after my favorite show Ow my balls! I just love where television is going these days!

  6. millie fink says:

    Going to the Learning Channel for learning is like going to the History Channel for history is like going to McDonald’s for a salad is like going to a dominatrix for a hug.

    • unit_1421 says:

       You’d be shocked at how many sex workers appreciate some genuine affection…

      • benenglish says:

        How right you are. I’ve gotten a hug from a dominatrix. I wish Millie Fink the opportunity to understand how possible and wonderful it can be. The story -

        Mid-90s, Vegas, 30 minutes before the doors opened for seating for the AVN awards. I’m standing with my group, wondering where our table will be, and I spot the notorious Miss X and her sub (not their real names).

        Me: “Oh, look! There’s Miss X. I have to go over and say hello.”

        My group gasps in shock and horror: “Bu-bu-bu-but you CAN’T! That’s Miss X! She’ll…she’ll…”

        Me, interrupting: “She’ll what? She’s a person. I’m a person. I’m a person who admires the performance art they create. I should thank them for that.”

        I walk over. There’s this little extra-wide bubble of space around them that no one dares violate. I walk right in and they both stop talking, turn to me, and glare.

        Me, with a perfectly straight face: “Excuse me. I do apologize for interrupting. My name in Ben English and I just wanted to thank you for the art you make. Whenever I’m called on to review one of your films, it’s always a refreshing break from the day-to-day dreck and I really appreciate that. Why, if it hadn’t been for you two, I would have never understood the erotic potential of a hot glue gun.”

        They sort of stare at me a moment, processing. At exactly the right moment, I let a little smirk creep onto my face.

        Both of them burst out laughing, hug me, and we have a brief, jovial conversation between sincere fanboi and artists.

        As I bade them goodbye, I noticed that nearly all conversation nearby had stopped and every eye in the area was on me, some glaring, some confused, some clearly angry. I returned to my group.

        My colleagues, clearly shocked: “What the hell happened? How did you get through that…intact?”

        Me: “I’m a person. They’re people. No big deal. They seem quite sweet, actually.”

        My group just sort of shook their heads and moved slightly away from me. For the rest of the convention and the next couple, I was “That crazy guy.”

        • Marc says:

           How I believe this really went – everything happened up to, “My name is Ben English…” and then they choked you out with a riding crop for daring to speak before being spoken to. The rest is clearly hallucination.

          SHAZAM.

          • benenglish says:

            I know you’re kidding but it did happen.  Tip: Go back to the mid 1990s and look for my name on the masthead of Adult Video News magazine.

    • Jer_00 says:

       Nope.

      I’m pretty sure that if you paid a prostitute for a hug you’d get a damn fine hug. 

    • knappa says:

      how about s/prostitute/dominatrix/ ?

  7. LikesTurtles says:

    Can’t wait to see the “Where are they now?” episode featuring her twenty years from now.

    Pretty sure someone got confused and put her on the wrong channel. She would fit in well on the Family Learning Channel:  http://youtu.be/Qd64zf6N9QI

  8. Repurposed says:

    This is where ‘cultural slumming’ jumped the shark into just ‘culture’.

  9. Eric Ruppel says:

    I just learned something. In fact, I think I’ll go back to school.

  10. unit_1421 says:

    Even just watching the trailer may set you on the path to ending up with a toddler in your trunk, so just don’t look.

  11. nomad411 says:

    Makes me so glad I don’t have a TV, OR Cable.. 

  12. Donald Petersen says:

    Oddly enough, I gotta say it: it could be worse.

  13. Happler says:

    I am not sure if it is good or bad that I have the opportunity to post this:
    http://youtu.be/_8jeuYMHX9Y

  14. Scott Slemmons says:

    Oh please hurry, mighty and merciful planet-killing asteroid. 

  15. mccrum says:

    Christ, what an asshole.

  16. jsd says:

    This is straight up child abuse. Get these kids out of these homes. It’s not funny. 

    EDIT: Where they’ll end up in crappy foster homes and underfunded institutions. Ah, fuck. I’m out.

  17. Marc Mielke says:

    WTF did I just watch?

  18. iamlegion says:

    This is one of many reasons why I don’t watch tv except by download anymore. If I could find a way to give cable _negative_ money because of things like this, I would.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      Keep signing up for free cable trials. They’ll waste money delivering your new box and mailing you shit.

  19. Josiah White says:

    You’re giving them free advertising. Think of the small percentage of people who would have not watched this if you haven’t had posted it. You gave the show that many viewers. Ignore ignore ignore!

  20. tyger11 says:

    The learning from bad examples channel?

  21. Reality shows like this is why the movie I’ve most enjoyed in a long time was America The Beautiful,

  22. The Squidboy says:

    Didn’t watch the trailer, the original post was too creepy. Haven’t lived in the USA for awhile, and US media nowadays is often too disquieting to consume.

    But, from dictionary.com:
    es·cha·tol·o·gy

    1. any system of doctrines concerning last, or final, matters, as death, the Judgment, the future state, etc.
    2. the branch of theology dealing with such matters.

    ???

  23. dahbe says:

    Mayan’s come through wormhole. Blow up world.

  24. Boundegar says:

    Don’t listen to them.  I love you, Honey Boo Boo.

  25. Ryan Brown says:

    I’m more than willing to believe in Jesus, the Space Lizard, Prexus, whomever, as long as they make things like this stop.

  26. benher says:

    The Lard Culture

  27. Adam S. says:

    Too bad there really is no Hell for the person responsible  for this to burn in

    • ironbear says:

      Oh the irony of a 1996 Washington Times article called “John Hendricks: Cable Pioneer Discovers Value of Putting Substance over Style.” Hendricks founded Discovery/TLC and continues to serve as Chairman of the Board. Shame on you, sir.

  28. nunya says:

    Uh, ‘honey boo boo’ is what my sister used to call her babies non solid diaper poos.

  29. DewiMorgan says:

     They have to dumb TV down, because the average viewer IQ is plumetting.

    Don’t worry for the fate of humanity, though: this is only because smart people are turning it off in droves, and turning on the internet.

    Here, we debate cerebrally on 4chan, youtube comments, and… *whimper*

    We’re doomed.

  30. I would watch it, I’m also looking forward to the upcoming show “ow my balls”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAg1r6zw7Bg

  31. I feel like I’ve witnessed a train wreck just from the short description and still photo!!

  32. JohnAWilson says:

    This seems like the television equivalent of the web’s ‘People of Walmart’.

  33. Aaron Swain says:

    What are we meant to “learn” from this show?

  34. notasheep says:

    This may be the only show on TV with its own built-in warning: “Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo.”

    Please, for whatever your gods’ sake, heed it!

  35. Tedhealey says:

     DAMNIT!! You Americans will block John Stewart and Colbert clips to Canada, but you gladly shoot this crap across our borders??

    Sirs! Prepare for more Martin Short!

  36. blueelm says:

    Well that’s depressing.

  37. ian_b says:

    As long as they cut to Michio Kaku from time to time for his salient insights.

  38. Grok says:

    The Loser Channel?

    I can’t seem to receive it on my ChannelMaster antenna……….Thank God!

  39. You’re all way too picky, I for one look forward to the new season of “Little People, Tricky Refrigerator”.

  40. mgoulart says:

    I think the word you’re looking for is scatology not eschatology.

    Scatology: the study of or preoccupation with excrement or obscenity.

    Eschatology: any system of doctrines concerning last, or final, matters,as death, the Judgment, the future state, etc.

  41. rocketpjs says:

    Nope, I think eschatology is the right term for this stuff.

    Television seems to be in a death spiral.  That said, there are some points of light (i.e. Breaking Bad). 

    Why anyone pays for cable anywhere is beyond me. 

    • Beryllium9 says:

      Ironic that your example for “points of light” (and breaking bad is a damn fine show, I might add) is itself about a death spiral, of sorts.

      (cue “that’s not irony!” posts. No, you’re right – it’s methy.)

  42. redstarr says:

    We still pay because to get those few bright spots, we have to buy into all the garbage,too.  Like to get higher quality stuff that I love like Mad Men and Game of Thrones, I also have to buy into the cable packages that contain the networks that air them.  Sadly, under the current system, they’re not available ala carte (well, I think you can actually watch Mad Men with a slight delay paying per episode on itunes I think, but since I’m already buying the cable to get other stuff that’s not available that way, it’s not a good value for me.).  If all of the show content was available streaming on demand by itself, I’d gladly ditch cable channel subscriptions.  But until then, I’ve got to buy the whole muddy pig just to get a little bacon. 

    • Kimmo says:

      Sadly, under the current system, they’re not available ala carte

      Eh?

      Fuck em, dude. You think things are ever going to work like they should under the old regime? The only way to move this forward is to hurry up and totally break the business model.

      Any ethical concerns that keep you chained to some fatcat’s racket be damned. Better to hasten the inevitable, and hope we can figure out a new way of making it work.

      IMO it’d be pretty sweet if you could just download whatever content you wanted from the government, who then reimburse the artists out of consolidated revenue. A corollary of ‘information wants to be free’ – humanity wants to be socialist.

  43. realityhater says:

    Really???!!!  TLC  - I would have to be in a semi comatose state in order to keep my attention on the garbage they produce and air ,  producing yet another winner in the mindless dribble they call programming. I so wish A LA CART PROGRAMMING was a reality , instead of the reality that “the Learning Channel ” is no longer what its namesake states.They should change their name to ” TMCC   The Mentally Challenged Channel –   We need to ask a very basic question “Why am I forced to pay for ABSOLUTE CRAP that I do not want or watch. THANKS FCC !!!   oh and by the way I don’t speak Spanish either so you can take those crappy channels off my bill as well -

     oh how I wait for the day when we can actually pay for just what we want to watch !

    • Kimmo says:

      Who’s forcing you to pay for stuff you don’t want to watch?

      For that matter, who’s gonna force you to pay for stuff you do want to watch, beyond maintaining an internet connection?

  44. elix says:

    It’s shit like this that led me to ask my cable ISP to stop calling me with TV-related promotions, because I’ve said no to them every time they’ve asked me to sign up for cable TV boxes for the last seven years, and with dreck like this, I’m not changing my mind anytime soon.

    Also, I’m not saying this as a joke, I mean this with all the misgivings one would expect: That girl’s gonna get raped before she’s 10, given how she’s been raised so far. “Daddy Issues” doesn’t even begin to cover it. I hope I’m wrong about this.

    • dahbe says:

      Ricky: With all due respect, Mr. Dennit, I had no idea you’d gotten experimental surgery to have your balls removed
      .Mr. Dennit: What did you just say to me?
      Ricky: What? I said it with all due respect!
      Mr. Dennit: Just because you say that doesn’t mean you get to say whatever you want to say to me!
      Ricky: It sure as hell does!
      Mr. Dennit: No, it doesn’t–
      Ricky: It’s in the Geneva Conventions, look it up!

  45. capnmarrrrk says:

    Are you sure that show isn’t all ET the Walrus in different costumes like Eddie Murphy in The Klumps?

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