Ayn Rand's Lord of the Rings

“'Yes,' said Frodo. 'I shall keep the Ring from the foolish parasities who wish to destroy it. For shockingly, many wish to destroy the Ring! They wish to keep the Ring from the rightful ownership of the rugged individualist who made it as his own.'" [Oliver Miller at Slacktory. Previously.]


  1. Who or what is Ayn Rand?

    Is this one of those “only understood by americans” things?

    1. You know how dungs attract flies?  It’s like a dung, in a form of very poorly written series of fictional stories.  Let’s leave it at that.

      1.  So it’s the Twilight series, but with capitalism instead of vampirism? That actually makes a disturbing amount of sense.

  2. on the other hand, there is this: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/unused-audio-commentary-by-howard-zinn-and-noam-chomsky-recorded-summer-2002-for-the-fellowship-of-the-ring-platinum-series-extended-edition-dvd-part-one

  3. Frodo wrinkled his brow in thought. “Actually, I did have one or two more questions about the metallic alloy…”

    Then I burst laughing.

  4. Fun idea, and I liked the alloy bit. Still, Atlas shrugged might be the easiest book in the world to write a pastiche of. Failing to do so is just lazy.

  5. Except in Atlas Shrugged there are several long explanations about how using force to control others is evil.
    But hey, why even attempt to understand the thing you’re mocking?

    1.  Thank you for giving me one of those “I’m going help myself by not trying to refute that comment” moments.  Ayn Rand would be proud of my selfishness.

      1. I didn’t say everyone hated her because they didn’t understand her. I said this mocking fails to do so. Just as you failed now.

    2. If Ayn Rand had written Lord of the Rings, Sauron would have destroyed the ring himself when he felt insufficiently appreciated. Another possible plot is that he would have been labeled an altruist for giving away 19 rings.

      A Randian rewrite of The Silmarillion would have been even better. There’s an obvious resemblance between Fëanor and Randian heroes.

    3. Of course that only applies to direct physical force not market force because it’s not in my self-interest to get the shit beaten out of me for being an idiotic prick following a childish philosophy.

  6. Atlas Shrugged , dumb Hollywood style: http://silentcalradio.tumblr.com/post/4646251452/ok-how-about-a-cartoon-version

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