“'Yes,' said Frodo. 'I shall keep the Ring from the foolish parasities who wish to destroy it. For shockingly, many wish to destroy the Ring! They wish to keep the Ring from the rightful ownership of the rugged individualist who made it as his own.'" [Oliver Miller at Slacktory. Previously.]

  • Gekko_Gecko

    Who or what is Ayn Rand?

    Is this one of those “only understood by americans” things?

    • http://twitter.com/rvitelli Romeo Vitelli

       Cherish your ignorance.  Better not to know…

      • http://thoughtcatalog.com/author/oliver-miller/ Oliver Miller

        Whoops.  You were way ahead of me in your reply.

    • Mitchell Glaser

      Got Google?

    • http://lectiblog.blogspot.com/ lecti

      You know how dungs attract flies?  It’s like a dung, in a form of very poorly written series of fictional stories.  Let’s leave it at that.

      • Purplecat

         So it’s the Twilight series, but with capitalism instead of vampirism? That actually makes a disturbing amount of sense.

    • TheMudshark

       http://lmgtfy.com/?q=ayn+rand

    • http://thoughtcatalog.com/author/oliver-miller/ Oliver Miller

      Oh, you are so, so lucky not to know.  Cherish your fortune.  Stay golden.

  • retchdog

    on the other hand, there is this: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/unused-audio-commentary-by-howard-zinn-and-noam-chomsky-recorded-summer-2002-for-the-fellowship-of-the-ring-platinum-series-extended-edition-dvd-part-one

  • Gerald Mander

    Boyett’s mashup of Ayn Rand and Star Trek Next Gen is a lot funnier: Fandom Shrugged.

  • Marky

     ”How Ayn Rand and L. Ron Hubbard Came Up With Their Big Ideas”

    http://www.cracked.com/video_18426_ayn-rand-5Bplaceholder5D.htm

  • Ashen Victor

    Frodo wrinkled his brow in thought. “Actually, I did have one or two more questions about the metallic alloy…”

    Then I burst laughing.

  • Anders Märak Leffler

    Fun idea, and I liked the alloy bit. Still, Atlas shrugged might be the easiest book in the world to write a pastiche of. Failing to do so is just lazy.

  • Michael Kolczynski

    Except in Atlas Shrugged there are several long explanations about how using force to control others is evil.
    But hey, why even attempt to understand the thing you’re mocking?

    • Brandon F

       Thank you for giving me one of those “I’m going help myself by not trying to refute that comment” moments.  Ayn Rand would be proud of my selfishness.

    • http://toomuchnick.com Nick

      Keep telling yourself that everyone hates Ayn Rand because they don’t understand her.

      • Michael Kolczynski

        I didn’t say everyone hated her because they didn’t understand her. I said this mocking fails to do so. Just as you failed now.

        • travtastic

           A little defensive about it, huh?

    • jhertzli

      If Ayn Rand had written Lord of the Rings, Sauron would have destroyed the ring himself when he felt insufficiently appreciated. Another possible plot is that he would have been labeled an altruist for giving away 19 rings.

      A Randian rewrite of The Silmarillion would have been even better. There’s an obvious resemblance between Fëanor and Randian heroes.

    • First Last

      Of course that only applies to direct physical force not market force because it’s not in my self-interest to get the shit beaten out of me for being an idiotic prick following a childish philosophy.

  • grandmapucker

    Atlas Shrugged , dumb Hollywood style: http://silentcalradio.tumblr.com/post/4646251452/ok-how-about-a-cartoon-version