Ralphisms: great Wiggum moments

"Ralphisms" by alasdairdavidstewart. (via Laughing Squid)

David Pescovitz is Boing Boing's co-editor/managing partner. He's also a research director at Institute for the Future. On Instagram, he's @pesco.

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Samsa

Failing to include the “sleep is where I’m a viking!” bit is criminal.
http://ok-cleek.com/blogs cleek

i’m a gulch!

that’s my favorite
TheKaz1969

.. not to mention, “it tastes like… burning”
stillcantfightthedite

… or “I’m Idaho!”
lostmongoose

they forgot “I’m a unitard” too
http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher

I’m shocked they didn’t include these words of wisdom:

“When we’re mad we’ll use our words. Then the rest of the world will play nice with us. And the only boom-booms will be in our pants.”

Truly words to live by.
Frank Diekman

Two egregious omissions:

“The pointy kitty took it!”

“I have to swim with my floatuses”
Enki

“He’s going to smell like hot dogs!”
ObstacleMan

No reference to the bloodhound gang song? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaGFPdP0-ug
- http://devojane.blogspot.com devophill
  
  I don’t know why I expected the song from this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4273oOYy7s
franko

no “i bent my wookiee”??? EDIT: doh!
Jericho

No “It tastes like burning”? EGREGIOUS!
stillcantfightthedite

… or “Daddy, these rubber pants are hot.”
- Frank Diekman
  
  You’ll wear them til you learn.
asterios9

Great content, but the clips should’ve been deinterlaced first.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deinterlacing

Once you know about it you see it everywhere, in commercials, on the TV news… It’s like nobody understands digital video.
- bcsizemo
  
  THANK YOU GOD, I’m not the only one who can’t tolerate shitty ripped video.
  
  Mofo’s need to learn about Avisynth.
  (Might not entirely be interlaced, could be telecined for the NTSC and the field order is incorrect.)
  - fergus1948
    
    My cat’s name is Mittens!
http://shichahn.livejournal.com/ Shichahn

My favorite was always “That’s where I saw the leprechaun! He told me to burn things.”
- SomeGuyNamedMark
  
  My other favorite is when he runs for president and he is asked for his opinion on immigrants and he says “Stranger danger!”
RedShirt77

In the late 90′s these mixes were on napster, I am sure they are on you-tube… Now 10-15 years later they make them official to sell DVD’s? I love corporate America, so current… I am going to go run out and buy a DVD right now!
http://twitter.com/erg79 Evan G.

So…do you like…stuff?
phlavor

I use unpossible amongst friends and family all the time. It means something is impossible and stupid or you are stupid for not knowing it was impossible.
accountsqueued.cc

Mirroed it before it got DMCAd
- bcsizemo
  
  -If a mirrored copy gets past the DMCA then a poorly ripped one should as well.
http://www.facebook.com/Dakota.Browning Dakota Browning

“Crayons taste like purple.”
bcsizemo

What no, “I sleep in a drawer.”?
- Comrade7
  
  I think that was actually Kearny’s son…
http://twitter.com/sensitive_b Eddie Abello

. . . And the doctor said my nosebleeds would stop if I just kept my finger outta there.
- TheKaz1969
  
  Reminds me of one of my favorite Chief Wiggum lines: “remember Ralphie, if your nose bleeds, it’s because you’re picking it too much… or, not enough!”
http://twitter.com/thegaf The Gaf

Can I party poop? Once you think of Ralph as a special needs child, this really becomes cruel. It isn’t hard to see it if you know any. Some kids are actually like Ralph, and its not funny.

But hey, me change popular opinion? That’s unpossible.
- marilove
  
  Oh come off it. It’s a cartoon.
  - http://twitter.com/thegaf The Gaf
    
    Did you read the last line I wrote? I pretty much acknowledged that.
    - marilove
      
      JFC you cannot be serious
      
      *facepalm*
      - http://twitter.com/thegaf The Gaf
        
        Meanwhile- why so annoyed by an opinion?
        
        Meet a few special needs kids, and learn about their lives- Ralph might not be as funny, that’s all. I’m not calling for a boycott, or saying they should change him, or even telling everyone they’re terrible people for laughing. It was just a different viewpoint. Personally, I love the Simpsons.But you’re probably the kind of person who says “retarded” about everything, and doesn’t understand why its not nice.
      - marilove
        
        @twitter-9232922:disqus I DO Know special needs kids, and Ralph is not them. He is a cartoon. Fiction. Not them. I would never insult actual, real-life special needs kids by comparing them to a cartoon character. Why are you?
        
        And, nope, I never say “retard”. Ever. Just like I wouldn’t compare real-life kids to a cartoon character.
        
        But you know, thanks for the assumption! You do realize that makes you an “ass”, right? As the saying goes…
- Michael Ellis Day
  
  I never thought of Ralph as a special needs child until you said that — fact is, I always thought of him as a lot like me when I was little. Good natured, socially inept, usually off in a world of my own. Ralph when he portrayed George Washington clearly didn’t have a neurological or developmental disorder. Maybe he just needs a little extra counseling. (So do I!)
  
  My secret wish for one of those episodes set in the future was for Ralph to show up as an adult, only it turns out he’s the most successful and well-adjusted of any of the kids. Sort of the ending of the aforementioned “I Love Lisa” writ large, you know?
Frank Diekman

“I want to go to Bovine University!”
Elliottw256

When the wolf carries Ralph away, “Your breath smells like bunnies.”
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=551552724 Tim Arnold

Duck duck duck duck duck duck duck…
hardwire

Go banana!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhX0-Q6Yv5U

…I’m pretty surprised that one didn’t make the cut.
JhmL

Ralph Wiggum ’36
Scott R

Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!
BombBlastLightingWaltz

Yes! I’m going to marry Lisa Simpson.
BombBlastLightingWaltz

I can’t believe I use to date her.