Why aren't you turning potatoes into cash RIGHT NOW?

Potato chips,
how my mouth just drips,
Crunch, crunch,
I don't want no lunch,
All I want is potato chips.

No matter where it is,
You'll always find a bag around,
You can be at a bar or a picnic,
Even a baseball ground.

Jazzaroonie!

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: ads • Business • employment • Food • not food • Old school

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Eurovision 2013: An American in London

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OldBrownSquirrel

My immediate thought was vodka.
CSBD

Biz-Op scams are awesome!
- http://mightybob.com thatbob
  
  What’s the scam? Slap the words “small batch” and “artisanal” on the label and sell them at a 300% markup?
  
  Artisanal: a product home-grown, hand-made, or machine-made under the supervision of somebody with a Masters degree (or higher) in an unrelated field.
  - http://twitter.com/mludlow Matt Ludlow
    
    Artisanal (alt.): Paul Simon’s frustration at his songwriting partner’s perfectionism.
  - Jerril
    
    Advertisement implies packaging and transportation are $0, for a net profit of $23.50 per batch. Ignoring any overhead costs for electricity/fuel to run the machine and for local ordinances for running a manufacturing plant and keeping up to health-code.
http://twitter.com/metal_max Max Allan

Doesn’t that kind of assume that there is a market for chips that are at your house. As opposed to maybe a restaurant where there are chip consumers. Unless there is some magical chip delivery mechanism that I’m not aware of.
Paul Coleman

Because my potatoes are still in the ground. Duh.
Felton / Moderator

I already spent all my money on this Cornballer. Ouch! Son of a…!
http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher

Everyone’s probably familiar with the story of the origin of potato chips (a customer at a restaurant kept sending his sliced, fried potatoes back, complaining they were too thick, until finally the chef just made potato chips.) There’s a legend (completely untrue) that the grumpy customer was none other than Cornelius Vanderbilt.

Because of where I work at least once a year I get to dress up as the Commodore. And I always make sure to include a bag of potato chips in my ensemble.

It has nothing to do with turning potatoes into cash, at least not for me, but I thought I’d share anyway.
- ackpht
  
  I assume the ensemble also includes a ferry boat?
- malindrome
  
  “Because of where I work at least once a year I get to dress up as the Commodore.”
  
  You have my dream job! I am unironically jealous.
signsofrain

Could you just make chips and sell them to restaurants these days or do health and safety type laws prevent that? ‘Cause you know, gourmet, low-carbon-footprint handmade homestyle chips… could have a market! :)
tw1515tw

It worked for Phileas Fogg: the founders made £24 million and started in a portable cabin.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phileas_Fogg_snacks
http://www.nebusiness.co.uk/business-news/interviews-with-business-people/2011/01/10/roger-mckechnie-founder-of-phileas-fogg-51140-27949906/

And Tyrrells was started by a potato farmer called Will Chase. He made £40 million. http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2006/jul/28/1

Where there’s spuds, there’s brass.
SomeGuyNamedMark

I’m going to check into this. I’ve been passing peanut based bills for years now.
- malindrome
  
  You might want to see a doctor about that.
  - SomeGuyNamedMark
    
    Poop!
GregS

Potato chips rule.
http://imcravingpresidency.tumblr.com/ SedanChair

Hometown hero Marcus Nalley, in the process of turning potatoes into money

http://croatia.org/crown/content_images/novak_vladimir/part2/vladimir_novak_marko_narancic.jpg
- http://openid.aliz.es/Vostapato Vostapato
  
  Cool picture! I’m from Seattle, so I’m very familiar with Nalley’s pickles, but until now I forgot that they ever made potato chips. (After a little research, it looks like the Tacoma Nalley’s plant stopped making potato chips in the mid-1990s, before shutting down for good last year.)
franko

why am i just learning of the existence of my theme song NOW?
internetcontrarian

Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew. Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew. Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew. Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew.
http://www.facebook.com/charles.kigar Charles Kigar

This recently appeared in my town. http://www.bigidahopotato.com/
If only I had know about Mr. Miller’s machine, my fortune would have been assured.
Boundegar

I wonder if this ad ran in Pennsylvania. While most Americans get 3-4 brands, PA is home to at least 16 potato chip brands, many of them family-owned, and I’ll bet 50 years ago there were many many more. It’s like potato chip Atlantis.

They don’t even have to put artisinal on the bag.
voiceinthedistance

What an oversight that the phrase “Potato Chip Millionaire” has not become part of our everyday lexicon.

I suspect the wise guys that cashed in on chips want to keep all the action for themselves, so they have deliberately put the kabosh on that lingo.
TheKaz1969

Yeah, but.. greaseless potato chips? What’s the point? Eat ‘em while drinking alcohol-free beer..?
Gimlet_eye

Back then, there were no national brands of potato chips. They were expensive to transport long distances, and didn’t keep fresh well. So most were made locally, and it was a commonly-advertised business opportunity. Not a scam as far as I know, though like all businesses, not a sure thing, either.
xpatriate

…and a bag of chips…..
http://twitter.com/MadelineAshby Madeline Ashby

Oh, if you only knew how many times that songs comes up in this house.
jdo

Wow, is John Krasinski hurting that much for money???
Bob Webb

So they’ve never heard of the phrase “cheap as chips”, then?
Brainspore

As any casino can tell you, it’s a lot easier to turn cash into chips than the other way around.
http://twitter.com/matthewjbaker matthewjbaker

My immediate thought:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pDTiFkXgEE