How bus passengers avoid each other

Yale University sociologist Esther Kim traveled thousands of miles on buses to study "nonsocial transient behavior," basically how passengers keep their distance. Of course, the most obvious unspoken rule is that you should never sit beside someone if you can avoid it. Kim published her study in the journal Symbolic Interaction.

"We engage in all sorts of behavior to avoid others, pretending to be busy, checking phones, rummaging through bags, looking past people or falling asleep, (Kim said.) Sometimes we even don a 'don't bother me face' or what's known as the 'hate stare'."
The best advice from Kim's fellow passengers was:
• Avoid eye contact with other people
• Lean against the window and stretch out your legs
• Place a large bag on the empty seat
• Sit on the aisle seat and turn on your iPod so you can pretend you can't hear people asking for the window seat.
• Place several items on the spare seat so it's not worth the passenger's time waiting for you to move • them.
• Look out the window with a blank stare to look crazy
• Pretend to be asleep
• Put your coat on the seat to make it appear already taken
• If all else fails, lie and say the seat has been taken by someone else

"Strangers on a bus: Study reveals lengths commuters go to avoid each other"

(CC-licensed image by Mr Novelty)

David Pescovitz is Boing Boing's co-editor/managing partner. He's also a research director at Institute for the Future. On Instagram, he's @pesco.

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Brainspore

Related: the unspoken code of the urinal.
- http://www.nathanhornby.com/ Nathan Hornby
  
  Brilliant, I came here to make the exact same point.
  - theophrastvs
    
    what about “unspoken” is unclear to youse two mooks?
    - Brainspore
      
      Because you don’t speak about the code while you’re using the urinal, silly. THAT’S PART OF THE CODE.
    - malindrome
      
      The first rule of Urinal Club is: You do not talk during Urinal Club!
- Cyanocitta
  
  I’ve always wanted to study this, but I can’t figure out a way to do it (legally).
  - t3kna2007
    
    Next time you’re in situ, ask the guy next to you if he knows about the urinal code.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  If someone takes the urinal next to me in an otherwise empty restroom, I may well speak words like, “MAY I HELP YOU?”
  - Stooge
    
    Throw in a hidden video camera and you could have a very successful porn site on your hands.
awgrbr

as someone who rides on a quite full amtrak trains frequently, I refer to all of these suggestions as “dick moves.”
Navin_Johnson

• Place a large bag on the empty seat
• Sit on the aisle seat and turn on your iPod so you can pretend you can’t hear people asking for the window seat.
• Place several items on the spare seat so it’s not worth the passenger’s time waiting for you to move • them.

People who do this suck, especially when the bus/train is crowded. It doesn’t really get more selfish and rude than that. I want nothing more than to sit alone, and not be noticed by crazy folks too, but move over and don’t block seats. I always want to ask aisle sitters about their invisible friend next to them.
- GawainLavers
  
  No doubting it’s effective, though, which is the point of the study. I hate it, but since I’m in “keep the hell away from me” mode as well, it’s intensely hard for me to pluck up the courage to make those people move. I’m certainly happy when I see other people do it, though.
  
  Especially very large people.
- http://weirdly.net Jacob Ewing
  
  I agree wholeheartedly! This behaviour bugs the shit out of me. Usually when I see someone do this on a bus with no empty seats, I ask them to move their crap and then sit down beside them – solely out of spite.
- http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher
  
  Let me second that. I ride the bus most weekdays. And whenever possible I sit in the window seat. When the bus is mostly empty and I’m carrying a lunchbox or some other item I usually put it on the seat next to me. If the bus fills up I move whatever I’ve got to my lap so people have a seat. Yes, I’d like to sit alone, but that’s no reason to make other people stand.
  - Navin_Johnson
    
    Yeah exactly, that’s what I do too. Just seems like common decency. I also try to give up my seat to the elderly, or to people who visibly need it more than I do if the case arises. I’m ‘old timey’ that way.
  - Wreckrob8
    
    Yes and I make sure I clear the seat next to me before being asked so as not to seem to be begrudging.
    But which is worse, those people who keep seats to themselves or the person who insists on sitting next to you on a half empty bus?
    - Navin_Johnson
      
      That is just plain creepy, I’d get up and move, and probably look at the person and ask them wtf their deal is. I had somebody do that to me on the train once, and I got up and moved to an empty seat. I was meeker (and greener) then, I’d ask what the hell he was up to now.
  - Arys
    
    Me, too. I can’t stand the people that think they need all that real estate, especially during rush hour. You want to sit by yourself? Drive, bike, or walk.
    
    Also, a stranger sitting next to you on public transportation is just about the lowest rung on the social ladder. You’re not forced to have deep and meaningful conversation with them.
    
    It’s always horrible when the creepy guy playing pocket pool sits next to you, though. In the big city, though, I think of it as the CTA roulette. Trying to avoid the wankers and the ass-grabbers is all part of the skill set.
    - cscott
      
      Question. How often, does someone grab you? My gf tells me all the time, that men always make comments to her when she is walking in NYC, or if she’s driving in traffic they will stare and try to get her to roll down her window. And I always think she’s being ridiculous and full of it.
      
      Any insight?
      - snowmentality
        
        cscott, this happens all the time. And guys never see it unless they’re the ones doing it, because it won’t happen when a woman is walking with a guy. When I’ve lived in places where lots of people walk or take transit, I’d say I got catcalls and comments or gestures at least a few times a week, and wankers once every few months. I’ve managed to avoid getting grabbed so far.
        
        Some men just feel entitled to make personal, sexual comments/gestures to any woman they see on the street. They’re basically bullies, trying to make women uncomfortable or upset because they get some kind of kick out of seeing the reaction. It’s not about how she looks or how she’s dressed — it’s not about any kind of real sexual attraction. It’s really just bullying.
        
        Believe me, your gf is neither being ridiculous nor full of it.
  - http://profiles.google.com/marc.k.mielke Marc Mielke
    
    I do that too, but don’t have much of a problem. Unless the bus is completely full — and even then in many cases — the fact that my fat ass takes up about a fourth of the adjacent seat is enough to discourage people.
- rachel ten bruggencate
  
  I have no problem sitting on purses/bags/coats if they are in the aisle seat and the bus is otherwise crowded.
  
  I’m a bit passive aggressive, though.
- eviladrian
  
  I find the best thing is to just put on a big smile, barge into their knees and then say “Thank you sir/madam!” in your loudest, happiest voice.
  If they still look miffed, say something about the weather as you sit down and they’ll shut right up ;-)
theophrastvs

There are several Markov chain preconditions into which this complex behavior ought to be divided. How crowded is the vehicle when boarding? (if it’s nearly empty, a sack on the seat next to you might not be a sucky move; otherwise it is). Are you the first or the second as a target subset of seats? (if the first, then you have more options, if the second you might choose other than a female if you’re a male so as not to give the impression of making some grotesque ‘move’). Is there a rowdy section of the vehicle that got on as a crowd? (from a school dismissal or sporting event). Is this the ‘commuter’? etc

In short, this is very complicated behavior and it rather looks like “more study needs to be done under more controlled conditions”.
solstone

My favorite is from a Billy Connolly routine, where he recommends smiling widely and patting the seat next to you invitingly as people get on the bus… nobody will sit next to you.

(Not willing to try this myself, and anyways I am annoyed by people who take up the extra seat with their backpack or whatever.)
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Yeah, picking your nose or your ass will work, too.
glatt1

I ride the subway every day and would agree that these are all dick moves.

When I get on a train, if there are a couple double seats that are open, but also a single seat next to some clean skinny dude, I’ll sit next to the skinny dude. When you sit down in a totally vacant seat, you have no control over who will sit next to you at a later stop as the train fills up. It’s much better to choose your seat mate than to let the fates choose one for you.
GawainLavers

One thing they don’t seem to mention is the role of culture with this. I’ve always been told that the idea of personal space is very different in different cultures, and the great discomfort I feel on crowded transit systems is largely about the jostling and shoving, and the feeling that it’s about to happen, and knowing that at some point I’ll have to engage in it to get out.

I like to tell people that to understand the Anglo-saxon sense of personal space, imagine holding a two and a half foot stick in one hand and waving it about to define a sphere. That’s roughly the lethal range of a battle-axe, and essentially the distance from others at which Anglo-saxons feel comfortable.
http://ravenlunatick.wordpress.com/ ravenlunatick

Ppl who do this have never ridden a really full bus then? Not only are there no empty seats for your bag to go in, you have to carry your bag between your feet bc ppl are packed in so tightly. Nor had a driver who refused to move until you let ppl sit down? Or had somebody tell you your bag doesn’t need a seat – their ass does?
I suppose you don’t thank the driver when you get to your stop either?
Yikes.
- Wreckrob8
  
  No. I don’t thank the driver. I do say good morning, afternoon, evening, though.
http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher

Here’s something I’m curious about: Whenever I’m sitting close to the front on a very crowded bus and someone older or with an obvious handicap gets on I offer them my seat. I don’t mind taking a seat farther back, or, if none is available, standing.

In most cases, though, people either politely decline or give me a look that suggests they think I’m crazy, and decline.

I’m not pushy about it, but am I being impolite? I’ve never seen anyone else do this, so maybe I’m violating some unspoken rule of bus etiquette.
- Navin_Johnson
  
  I do this!
  
  I see other thoughtful people do it too, sadly not enough, and young kids* (and men in general) are particularly bad at not giving their seats up I’ve noticed over the years.
  
  *damn kids these days and their vidya games!
  - artaxerxes
    
    I do that and I’m a young-ish butch woman. I also hold doors for people if they’re entering a building after me and my letting go of the door would essentially amount to closing it in their faces. I also hold the door on elevators for those needing a little time getting off or getting on.
    
    I’ll encourage folks at the store to go ahead of me in line if they have a few items and I have a couple bags worth of groceries.
    I have developed a nonchalant way of doing these things, so that I’m not offending an older man who takes umbrage at the idea of a woman holding a door for him (Used to happen. A fair amount.). Same goes for those with disabilities (of which I am one, but my physical disability isn’t apparent when I’m standing still.) I understand that an act of courtesy might be perceived as patronizing.Basically, I like to be polite to others in society because it makes me feel a little better at the time, and it might make a difference to another person. I also feel very strongly that society is improved by small acts of kindness, and I’m passionate about that philosophy.If someone gets offended, however, I just don’t let it bother me anymore. Fuck it. Can’t please ‘em all.
- Geoduck
  
  My local bus system specifically allocates the front seats to the elderly and disabled. Able-bodied people can use them if they’re empty, but you’re expected to move if someone who needs them gets on.
  
  Also, a book I own suggests the ultimate way to get a seat to yourself, requiring even less effort than Connolly’s method: Get a short piece of string and dangle it from your lips.
  - Navin_Johnson
    
    Yes, here too. The front seats have wheelchair symbols on them and there are signs in case riders are still unclear about their purpose.
  - http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher
    
    All the buses in service in my city have signs at the front that say “Please reserve these seats for the elderly or handicapped”, or something to that effect.
    
    At least one also has a brass plaque over the front seats on the left hand side that says, “Reserved for no one. In memory of Rosa Parks.”
    
    I’ve always liked that.
  - Wreckrob8
    
    My local buses have spaces reserved for wheelchairs or buggies. On several occasions I have seen people with buggies full of nothing but shopping take the reserved spaces and prevent someone with a child in a buggy from getting on the bus. Makes me want to take their buggies and tip their shopping on the floor to clear a space and so everyone can see they have no child and how selfish they are. Instead I do nothing, but one day perhaps….
- marilove
  
  As a woman, when I took the bus, I’d get that sometimes — men offering me their seat. It always bothered me. I’m young! Healthy! Perfectly able to sit down! It’s some weird notion that says that women must be treated with kid gloves, and I don’t like it.
  
  Generally I would just smile and say, “No, thank you sir, I’ve been sitting all day and would like to stand!”
  
  It’s probably mostly okay to ask if someone would like your seat, but don’t assume that just because someone is “older” or “with an obvious handicap” that they are unable to stand. A lot of people will take that as you seeing them as “broken” or something.
  - Brainspore
    
    It’s probably mostly okay to ask if someone would like your seat, but don’t assume that just because someone is “older” or “with an obvious handicap” that they are unable to stand.
    
    It’s not nice to assume either way, but I think it’s best to err on the side of “person who likely has more trouble standing than I do gets offered my seat.” Particularly if I’m sitting in the section of the bus with the sign reading “please make seats available to elderly and disabled persons.”
    - http://celesteagnes.blogspot.com/ Sekino
      
      I usually just get up and walk away, so they can choose not to sit but they can’t argue with me either ;)
      - marilove
        
        Good idea haha.
    - marilove
      
      Totally. It’s a hard balance to walk, sometimes. Just don’t get offended if they refuse to take you up on your offer. :)
  - Navin_Johnson
    
    I don’t think we’re assuming that they are unable to stand, just that you as a younger person will be more comfortable standing than they are, and after all you’re only asking. Also, I’m guessing by “older” he meant actual elderly people, not people who just happen to be older than you. I personally would be pissed if somebody didn’t offer to give up their seat for my grandfather, or somebody who it’s easy to see is visibly fatigued or having trouble getting around.
    
    As for your example, I’d say never, that comes across more like a creepy, unsolicited come on than anything else.
    - marilove
      
      Yeah it’s a hard balance to walk sometimes. Just be polite in your request and if they say no, don’t get offended.
      
      As for your example, I’d say never, that comes across more like a creepy, unsolicited come on than anything else.
      
      Sort of. Maybe not explicitly or intentional, but yeah. As a young woman, these kind of requests generally aren’t 100% “innocent”.
      
      Older men I think sometimes are just trying to be polite, as that’s how they were taught, but younger men? No. They are just being weird.
      
      When it comes to opening doors, I will open for men if they are behind me. One time some guy got all weird about that! ”No, I’ll hold it open for the LADY!” I think I just gave him a weird look, but I wish I would have said, “LADY? Hah! You don’t know me, Mister! I am no Lady! Now get the fuck inside!” as I held open the door.
      - Navin_Johnson
        
        Older men I think sometimes are just trying to be polite, as that’s how they were taught, but younger men? No. They are just being weird.
        
        Yeah, I can see that.
        
        Agreed, opening doors should having nothing to do with gender, it’s just polite to do if you reach it first for anybody. Young (not old men) guys making a big fuss about ‘ladies first’ to women they don’t know sets off my creep detector.
      - Antinous / Moderator
        
        I hold the door open for anyone behind me. Back in the days before keyless entry, my women friends would unlock and open the passenger door for me if they were driving as I would do for them if I was driving. We should have progressed to universal manners, but instead we’ve regressed to universal lack of manners.
- Arys
  
  I yield my seat regularly. My general criteria is if the other passenger is: elderly or pregnant or with a small child they need the seat much more than I do. I’ve also given my seat to folks that have looked pretty ill. Happens a bunch in the winter.
http://twitter.com/SmaugsLair Kevin Flanagan

Most effective method I’ve personally encountered:

Start shaking violently and say “Don’t sit next to me!” repeatedly.
- malindrome
  
  “Have you heard the Good News? Christ has risen.”
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    “A ham and cheese omelet don’t give you gas!” Over and over. Seen it in a slow, crowded elevator. Well, the quarter of the elevator with eleven people in it was crowded. The other three-quarters, not so much.
http://www.disoriented.net/ angusm

The carriages on the Sydney train system have – or had when I was last there, which is many years ago – seats with backs that you could flip over. The idea was presumably to let passengers ride facing forward or back, according to preference and direction of travel. What people mostly seemed to use it for, however, was ensuring that they didn’t even have to face their fellow passengers.

I used to get on near the start of the line and see the first people onto the train reconfiguring the seating so that they wouldn’t have to look at other commuters. You could only do this at the first few stops: once there were no more empty seats, the configuration was effectively ‘locked’, and late arrivals would have no choice over where they sat or who they looked at.
- Navin_Johnson
  
  Sounds like a bizarre version of musical chairs.
kcmpls

Being overweight has worked well for me! Okay, it is the only place where it has worked out well for me, but one perk is better than none.
rocketpjs

If an elderly, pregnant, obviously disabled or otherwise limited (wrangling small children counts) comes on and there are no obvious seats for that person, I usually just get up and move away. I don’t want to talk about it and make them uncomfortable, I don’t want some sort of hero badge for basic human non-assholery, I just don’t want to be an asshole.

That said, if some young, obviously healthy twit steals the seat before that person gets there, I’ll tell him (usually) that I didn’t leave it for him.

The flip consideration is that not all disabilities are visible. A person with MS might have a lot of difficulty standing, but not appear like they have a disability. Ditto many other disabilities. I have seen a few instances where people got righteous and demanded someone give up his/her seat, which puts us in a (totally wrong and inappropriate) position of assessing just how disabled someone is. Also assholish and invasive.

Many of the buses in Vancouver have a row of single seats on one side, which are my favourite, if I can get one. No need to share or worry about sharing, I can sit down and break out my novel without having to deal with anybody.
Rich Keller

Does anyone remember the “God told me to sit next to you” cartoon from National Lampoon?
TheMudshark

When I see someone smugly squatting on the aisle seat, on a bad day I will make them stand up instead of taking another seat beside a window-sitter.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Some of us take the aisle seat because the distance from our hips to our knees exceeds the distance from the back of our seat to the back of the seat in front of us.
- marilove
  
  ookay? as long as they are willing to stand up to let you in, what’s the problem? some people need the extra space. or maybe are only going one stop. who knows. but seriously, YOU SHOW ‘EM!
  - TheMudshark
    
    It´s a Vienna thing, we´re miserable people here you know?
Joly MacFie

Reminds me of this classic Punch cartoon http://punch.photoshelter.com/image/I0000KWXmffrxgg8
- Wreckrob8
  
  I’d forgotten that Punch could actually sometimes be funny (or at least provoke a smile).
John Turnley

My strategy is to appear to take more space than I really need. On an airplane, for example, I’ll let my arm hang over the arm rest and I’ll spread my knees more. It isn’t guaranteed to work, but I like to think it deters people. I’ll let them have the seat if they want it. I’m just trying to make the seat unattractive.

I agree with avoiding eye contact, maybe by burying myself in a book. People are a little reluctant to have to get someone attention. It’s a small effect, but it helps.
- Cynical
  
  Billy Bignuts is by far and away the most annoying person on public transport. Your testicles are so huge you need a seat for each of them?
  
  I make a point of sitting next to them and leaning my knees up against their outspread legs; it’s incredibly passive-agressive but the invasion of personal space is usually enough to make people move.
Nadreck

Having a white-leather-bound Bible open on your lap, heavily highlighted, combined with a fixed smile usually does it for me.

All this is highly localised behaviour though. In Japan cafeteria and bus seats are usually filled in to maximise population density. So, for example, if you’re alone in a football stadium sized cafeteria in the off hours and someone else comes in they’ll walk over and sit at your table. It’s also fun on the overnight inter-city buses to watch each person on the bus apologise to the person behind them for lowering the seat-back when it’s time for the lights to go out. It’s kind of like “The Wave” at football games: starting at the front of the bus and going back to the second last row of seats.