Paper fasteners banned due to injuries


84 Responses to “Paper fasteners banned due to injuries”

  1. HandmaidenOfEris says:

    Staplers are far more dangerous. 

    • Christopher says:

      Have you seen my stapler? They switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler, and they’ve moved my desk four times now.

    • elchip says:

      The stapler is not to be trifled with.

  2. historydenier says:

    All fine and dandy until someone’s DVD-ROM tray won’t eject.

    • Dan Ackroyd says:

      What the fark is a DVD-ROM?

      • fuzzyfuzzyfungus says:

        It’s the higher capacity sort of cupholder they installed when new super-size drinks hit the market. I’ve heard tell that you can also get a ‘BD-ROM’ flavor that will support even the double big gulp…

  3. A new “afterward”? Was that a typo of “afterword”?

  4. markus baur says:

    will they now hold paperclip audits? (like they do in the Laundry)

  5. Malic says:

    Markus, you beat me to it!

  6. ChicagoD says:

    This has absolutely got to be a send-up, right?

    • Greg Sheppard says:

      Most of these stories tend to be either complete bullshit, genuinely never happened, propoganda by right wing press who seem to oppose basic safety measures in work that are incredibly hard to dispell. 

      Or people deciding to do something that has absolutely nothing to do with health and safety but calling it health and safety so people dont call them out for being pricks.

      The Health and Saefty Executive repeatedly have things online, on press statements etc saying, this is not a health and safety issue, we do not approve of this, do not blame us for this prick’s pettiness or their paranoia. They make the papers far less. 


    Beware the hidden threat of paper cuts.  Man, those things smart!

  8. %90 sure this is one of those half made up, knee jerk “health and safety gone mad” stories, like the one about conkers being banned.

    it probably wasn’t that kind of paperclip, it probably wasn’t actually banned, or if it was it was probably for some other reason. the metro is the absolute worst for reporting this kind of thing, all it does is undermine people who try to bring up legitimate safety concerns.

    • Greg Sheppard says:

      Agreed, almost certainly utter rubbish or someone using a bogus health and safety claim to do something they want and not get the flak for it.

      The mail and sun are probably worse for it than the mirror though.

      I don’t get why right-wing Tabloids have a problem with basic health and safety measures. They’ve drastically reduced the number of workplace accidents and deaths and are basically not much work apart from in industrial/construction etc where yes they are a bit more work but they stop people getting badly injured and having to claim benefits. 

  9. zibuki says:

    If you read the comment thread on the original article, someone has pointed out that is not the kind of paperclip you think it is:

    “It wasn’t that type of paper clip. The least you could do was get the image right. It was one of the two-part clips designed to hold hole-punched papers together, two long metal pars one of which has folding wings that poke through the holes in the paper and the other side of the clip and fold over.”

  10. dragonfrog says:

    I won’t spoil the punchline, but this puts me in mind of the reason for all the paper clip audits in Charles Stross’s The Jennifer Morgue.

    Are we sure this is really about injuries?

  11. How long until every person in the UK is required to be swaddled in bubble wrap 24/7?

    • sdmikev says:

      I hear there are web sites for that type of thing..

    • SomeGuyNamedMark says:

       And they’ll have a camera aimed at them

    • Greg Sheppard says:

      Depends if you live in the real world – never. Or in tabloid fantasy land where ‘elf and safety has gone crazy – it’s happening now near enough.

      Most of these stories end up getting debunked and those just never get published in the papers. The Health and Safety Executive often say, no that was a myth or no that was nothing to do with a legitimate health and safety concern just them overreacting etc.

  12. Ramone says:

    First they came for my paper clips, and I said nothing.


    I worked at a company where Post-It notes were banned on pain of disciplinary action.  People had a habit of sticking them to important documents and filing them.  The note would fall off and critical info would be lost.  Staples, people.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      Working in the hospital, you tend to get memos like Please don’t leave specimens in the employee lunch fridge and Please make sure to label your chemo syringes properly.

  14. This report is garbage.

    The source is The Metro — a UK free newspaper published by the Daily Mail group.

    The Daily Mail has a political agenda and a half, and has been running an anti-health-and-safety campaign for years. This is just typical of the crap they spew. I would give it no credence whatsoever unless it can be substantiated by a primary source.

    Sorry you got suckered by the newspaper-owning trolls …

  15. Boundegar says:

    Do you know how many office workers are killed each year by paper clips?  All of them.

    • Ramone says:

      It’s true. They’re responsible for more than double the cause of death and dismemberment than samurai swords.

  16. info says:

    Just wait until someone notices how deadly paper cuts can be… Paperless office, here we come!!!

    (Oh, wait… But then computers could fall from the desks and get your foot pinkie all ouchy…)

  17. dtobias says:

    Right after the NHS gets saluted in the Olympic opening ceremony, they show themselves to be a bunch of blithering idiots who can’t even keep from injuring themselves if exposed to paper clips.

    • Greg Sheppard says:

      It’s bullshit, unless they link directly to a primary source you have to assume these things never happen cause 99% of the time they are tabloid rubbish coked up out of thin air. 

  18. Teller says:

    I still miss huffing the white-out.

  19. mudpup says:


    you know cause… paper cuts.

  20. Felton / Moderator says:

    I read somewhere that you’re never more than six feet from a paperclip.

  21. zibuki says:

    It isn’t that kind of paper clip. Here is the story being reported elsewhere, with a correct picture:—for-being-a-safety-risk

    Apparently, this came about because a staff member cut themselves and is suing the hospital, which is already starving for cash.

    • DMStone says:

      The headline would read more correctly:

      “Paper clips banned due to potential costly future litigation”

      Not really much more sensible, but more likely then a severe injury due to a paper fastener.

    • David Pescovitz says:

      Thanks! Updated with that link.

  22. Happler says:

    combine with Bucky Balls to make an awesome, banned, building toy..  :P

  23. Kirsten Hey says:

    There is no such organisation as the Manchester National Health Service Trust, so I expect the rest of the article is bollocks too. 

  24. mccrum says:

    John Slade: Sam, hold it man, you told me you served in Nam!

    One Eyed Sam: I did, Saigon.

    Jack Spade: Well, how’d you lose your eye?

    One Eyed Sam: Fu**in’ ’round the office. We were shooting paper clips at each other, and one of the damn fools hit me in the eye!

  25. Michael Rosefield says:

    As a Mancunian, I am already feeling safer.

  26. POI: there are about eight separate NHS trusts in Manchester.   “The UK’s Manchester NHS trust” is meaningless.

    (An NHS trust, as I understand it, is closer to a non-profit company than a government body.)

  27. corydodt says:

    I love that they want you to dispose of them “carefully.” Imagine the carnage if they hadn’t said that!

  28. SystemBelief says:

    Sorry to spoil the story, but I use those metal fasteners (they are nothing like paper clips but a cheap substitute for ring binders) myself (I have a whole box of them to use up). They are crudely stamped out of thin steel and each blade has a knife-like edges a couple of inches long. It is very easy to cut yourself on them (done it myself a number of times). Hardly a huge health risk but I should imagine it doesn’t look good if your hospital documents are stained with dried blood.

  29. Baldhead says:

    While the wrong device, my thought immediately went to Harvey Birdman

  30. Laura Lam says:

    I sliced my finger open to the bone on one of those metal archive clips a few months ago. It was a pretty serious cut, so we banned them at our workplace. 

  31. UncaScrooge says:

    I worked for a place that actually rationed paper clips. The territorial skirmishes that would arise over unauthorized paper clip raiding parties were far more dangerous than anything described here.

  32. B E Pratt says:

    I just KNEW that this had to have occurred in Britain….Safety conscious to the point of sheer stupidity….


    Dude, you have no idea.  The following are required where I work to mop a floor: rubber traction overshoes, safety glasses, gloves, wet floor signs, full lighting, all chemicals in original fully labeled containers, etc.  And this isn’t because they’re concerned for your safety.  It’s because silly minor accidents cost a small fortune annually.

  34. Keldin says:

    It’s the NHS which probably means the grievously injured staff member has now gone off sick for 6 months on full pay, possibly 2 years, and can’t return to work until the nasty metal paper fasteners are removed and their work environment made safe.

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