Pastor Jack Schaap demonstrates how to polish a shaft


146 Responses to “Pastor Jack Schaap demonstrates how to polish a shaft”

  1. BDiamond says:

    Well, that’s creepy as hell.

  2. smallteam says:

    At the risk of being all “too soon?” about it, I have to ask, um, too soon? Actually, the more I watch, the less I’m disturbed by the that, and the more I’m disturbed by the polishing. Oh, brother.

    • Peppermint says:

      Well I’d argue that if the sex was fully consensual (which is doubtful, but not impossible – I don’t really know the details), the only disturbing thing about it is the pastor’s hypocrisy (and, I’ll grant you, the age gap is a bit creepy – but again, I wouldn’t see much of a problem there provided everyone had fun.)

      The polishing, on the other hand… There are no words. *shivers*

  3. redesigned says:

    i don’t understand this video…is he masturbating an arrow?
    because god told him to?

    what is with all the insane yelling and weird facial expressions?

    doesn’t he clue into the glares on all the people’s faces?
    (at least half of them are thinking he should sit down and shut up and they are supposed to be on his side.)

    this has to be one of the strangest videos i’ve ever seen.

  4. robotmonkeys says:

    I always make it a point to attend churches with lava lights framing the altar.

  5. R S says:

    Please be more specific.  He is in NW Indiana, not here in north central Indiana where I live. Thanks.

    • benenglish says:

      If he’s in Indiana, isn’t 17 legal?  And don’t Boingers usually want to be nonjudgemental about consensual sex between (legal) adults?

      • Jake0748 says:

         Maybe (I said maybe) its legal.  But the pastor of the largest church in the state isn’t supposed to be having any kind of sex with anybody except his wife.  You get that, right?  (or were you just kidding?).  As unsympathetic as I am to most of mainstream “Christianity”, yeah, I can see how this might get you fired. 

      • retchdog says:

        portugal, interestingly, has two ages of consent. the lower age (14 or 15, i think) represents “consent to honesty”: sex is okay, but it’s still illegal to manipulate (in particular, emotionally) someone of this age into sex; the second age (17) removes this protection.

        i have absolutely no idea how (or if) this is accurately and precisely enforced, and i think it would be a terrible idea in the united states for this reason. nonetheless, there is wisdom in it, and an adult in a position of authority should be held, at least in principle if not in law, to higher standards. especially a so-called moral authority like a pastor.

        • retepslluerb says:

          I think many countries have multiple ages of consent, usually to  allow minors to experiment with each others while keeping adults from exploiting them by manipulation.

        • fuzzyfuzzyfungus says:

          It varies from state to state; but many states in the US also have an ‘legacy’ age of consent value (usually substantially lower than the others) for minors who are married with parental consent (and sometimes for situations involving a pregnancy and/or child). I don’t know how often this option is actually exercised; but there are some pretty retro age ranges possible in certain states, with certain procedural steps taken.

        • pduggie says:

          oh, good. 17 year olds deserve manipulation. O_o

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        If he’s in Indiana, isn’t 17 legal?  And don’t Boingers usually want to be nonjudgemental about consensual sex between (legal) adults?

        She was going to him for counseling and he was banging her.

        • Jake0748 says:

          Thank you. More succinct than my response.

        • Conan Librarian says:

          That’s not illegal. 

          • Antinous / Moderator says:

            I didn’t say that it was.  It’s immoral, unethical and repulsive.

          • bumblebeeeeeee says:

            thats exactly what the bankers are saying: it wasn’t illegal.

          • elix says:

            In Canada it would be. But, this isn’t in Canada, so…

          • chgoliz says:

            I don’t know about Indiana, but sexual coercion by a person of authority, guardianship or other operating-in-care-of position against the person over whom they have dominance is considered illegal in some states.

        • benenglish says:

          I missed that detail in the linked story.  That’s certainly reason enough for him to be fired from any counseling job.  Given the particular context of his job, simple adultery is enough reason to fire him, though most Baptist churches will at least give lip service to the concept of forgiveness.  Some, if s/he has the support of their spouse, might even hire a confessed (past) adulterer as pastor.  I’ve seen it happen.

          My comment was meant to make a more general point.  I was questioning the newsworthiness of the story and its inclusion here.  While I full well realize that’s the call of the people who run the site (and you’ve made it clear to me before that this isn’t a valid criticism of *anything* posted on BB), I sorta wish us humans didn’t so enjoy pointing and laughing and feeling superior to people who screw up.  I’ve been the one pointed at and laughed at often enough that my initial reaction was just “He messed up.  He lost his job.  His reputation is now trash.  Why not leave the guy alone and hope he sins no more?  What’s the point of all the unseemly, salacious tittering?”

          • eyebeam says:

            Because he’s a symptom of a rotten, hypocritical system that marshals the gullibility of the stupid and naive, to manipulate and exploit the vulnerable, while actively spreading lies, with the goal of destroying rational thought, and the extermination of those who refuse to submit to their regime of terror.

          • marilove says:

            Why couldn’t you have just said “Slow news day, huh, BoingBoing?” and be done with it?

            It would have saved you (and me!) a lot of time.

            The irony is that you think you’re adding to the discussion.

          • benenglish says:

            Reply to Marilove – Because in the past Antinous has specifically boinked me for saying, to paraphrase, “Slow news day, huh, BoingBoing?”  According to moderation policy around here, that is NEVER a valid thing to say.

          • marilove says:

            @boingboing-3dc2c2f6a6a75cba6bc726b4545e788c:disqus If it’s against policy, then why did you say exactly that, but just with a LOT MORE WORDS?

          • Antinous / Moderator says:

            I was questioning the newsworthiness of the story and its inclusion here.

            Because these people largely run the government, and we need to tear them from their thrones and beat them naked through the streets.

        • Daneel says:

          It’s counsexual!

        • redesigned says:

          It is my understanding that she is 17 now, not when he started banging her for jesus.

      • 666beast1 says:

         You don’t think there’s some hypocrisy involved?  It is presumptive to tell others how to live their life by the misinterpreted text from an imaginary super-being when you can’t even live by your own example.

    • R S says:

       NW Indiana, rather.

    • jerwin says:

      I never knew Indians could be so tribal.

      • srose278 says:

        I think we are just about NW Indiana, which is more like a suburb of Chicago. They’re in a different time zone than the rest of IN, the cities/towns have trains going into Chicago, folks who live out there just say they’re from Chicago when meeting new people who aren’t from that region of Indiana (incidentally, it’s colloquially referred to as “The Region”), and in my experience, Region residents are more personally and emotionally connected to Chicago than Indiana. What was most telling to me is that even when the rest of the state was consumed in Peyton Manning/Colts hoopla, many football fans from that area were still devoted to the Chicago Bears.

        We have to deal with other sorts of crazy in the rest of Indiana, so I’m more than happy to let the Region have this one guy.

        • chgoliz says:

          Interesting.  My dad lives in this area, and what I’ve found is that people have a tendency to make very clear that they DO NOT have anything to do with Chicago.

  6. Frank Diekman says:

    Gary Busey will play him in the Lifetime movie.

  7. lgatlin says:

    I find it hard to believe any 17 year old girl would want to sleep with this weirdo.

    • bcsizemo says:

      Sleep with a weirdo for a few years, or burn in Hell forever…decisions, decisions.

    • eyebeam says:

      A seventeen year old girl raised since birth to believe in bullshit, yes. Gotta get ‘em young…

    • EH says:

      I’m sure it follows the same script as any other you’ve heard of: a teenager, wondering about people and society and romantic issues and having them demonstrated by a knowledgeable superior.

  8. Rootboy says:

    An old friend of mine abruptly decided to become a Baptist pastor a couple of years ago and enrolled at the school associated with this guy’s church. He’s been posting tons material vaguley supportive/defensive of this guy to my Facebook for the last couple of weeks. I find this fascinating and sad.

    • fuzzyfuzzyfungus says:

      It is always fascinating to observe what conditions cause an organization to go into ‘circle the wagons’ mode about the malfeasance of one of their members and which ones cause an organization to go into ‘expel the unclean’ mode.

      It is particularly odd to see any wagon circling because(at least until the FBI finishes) he is a very poor candidate for the ‘persecution by “the enemy”‘ card. His own church sacked him based on his own confession of behavior that is obviously incompatible with their own moral preferences(because his adulterous activities were with a minor, the feds are sniffing around; but even if she’d been 35, Baptists ostensibly take a dim view of that sort of thing)…

      Do you know if he had some sort of cult of personality thing going on that would give him clout above and beyond his position in the religious structure?

      • lafave says:

        The Feds are not sniffing around solely because she’s a minor.  They are sniffing around because she’s a minor and there are possible Mann Act violations (he may have brought her across the state line into Illinois).

      • Kimmo says:

        I wouldn’t know a Baptist pastor from a pile of poo, but it strikes me he must have something going on in order to get away with presenting that demented ballyhoo as something anyone would be even mildy interested in, rather than horrifically fascinated… these aren’t the guys who do the ‘speaking in tongues’ bit, right?

        • Antinous / Moderator says:

          You know how Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy are sort of like Kabuki, with ritualized gestures in archaic speech? Well, evangelical Christianity is kind of like punk performance art, with the actors using alarming speech and movement to create maximum outrage and squick.

      • Rootboy says:

        The church and school were founded by Jack Hyles, and  Jack Schaap not only took over Hyles’ job but is married to his daughter – there’s a kind of royal dynastic thing going on that’s seems consistent with a cult-of-personality. That said, the guy was fired by his own church, so I don’t know how far that extends past my pastor-in-training friend.

  9. Asher Green says:

    That would be a shaft, not a staff, right? I am horrified to admit that I am originally from the state of Indiana.

  10. Asher Green says:

     (reading the caption, not the headline. whoops.)

  11. Palomino says:

    What’s with the white lab coats? Something disturbingly ‘cultish” about those coats. 

    • fuzzyfuzzyfungus says:

      Those appear to be not lab coats; but the unwholesome spawn of an unnatural tryst between a lab coat and a Florida mobster’s idea of a suit jacket…

    • Kimmo says:

      No lab coat ever made anyone look such a dork…

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        I worked in a hospital. The attending physicians/professors wore long lab coats. The residents wore those horrible polyester blazer things. I think that it was psychological warfare to keep them in their place.

        • penguinchris says:

          I think for doctors the lab coat is a badge of honor sort of thing… like there’s a ceremony that goes along with it at some point in your training. Polyester blazers are an abomination though.

        • Wreckrob8 says:

          White coats frighten patients, too. Aren’t medics wearing T-shirts and jeans these days?

  12. Gerald Mander says:

    You can’t make this shit up.

  13. Chuck says:

    Totally NOT ga…

    Wait — you mean the congregant in question is a girl?


    Now I don’t know what to do.

    • Peppermint says:

      Same here.

      • Chuck says:

        I’m half expecting someone to call me a bigot for assuming he’s gay.

        There’ll be social movements addressing the problems that minorities like Schaap have to deal with, and speeches before like-minded people…

        “I dream of a world where social conservatives caught in secret lives of sin aren’t automatically assumed to be closeted homosexuals.”

        *cheers of thousands*
        *or maybe just hundreds*
        *maybe tens*

  14. Tommy Timefishblue says:

    It’s a wonderful life.

  15. So David Lynch wrote this, right?

  16. nixiebunny says:

    It was so creepy that I had to turn it off after 30 seconds. Definitely NSFW.

  17. EH says:

    “Boy, what in the hell are you talkin’ about?”

  18. voiceinthedistance says:

    Hmmm . . . not French polishing.  What sort of polishing is this?  I’m guessing it requires a wide stance to do it right.

  19. ujin says:

    I watched that on mute…

    I am going to find myself a boobie chaser.

  20. kmoser says:

    Next up: Jack Schaap demonstrates how to clear a gopher hole.

  21. Ma Baker says:

    I watched the video while assuming that the “congregant” was male. A pitfall of the English language, but why did I even assume that? And why am I almost disappointed now?

  22. humanresource says:

    Freaky. If he was watching a vintage train roll past, that’d be a different story, of course.

  23. hakuin says:

    Pastor Babbit?

  24. stevelaudig says:

    He’s a buddy of Mike Pence.

  25. That_Anonymous_Coward says:

    Someone wanna tell me how me wanting to get married is really bad again?
    What was that, can you speak up a little, I can’t hear you over the adultery and hypocrisy.
    But me getting married will destroy marriage…  got it…

    • Conan Librarian says:

      “Someone wanna tell me how me wanting to get married is really bad again?”

      Trust me, it is bad, really bad. You don’t want to make that mistake. It will be the worst mistake you can make in your life! Its a near-death experience.

      Not that I’m projecting my own failures or anything.  

      • That_Anonymous_Coward says:

        I’d like the option to make the mistake instead of people like this guy telling people I’m evil and it would be wrong to let me marry as it would be an attack on marriage.

        • Kimmo says:

          You’re totally allowed to get married.

          As long as it’s the sort of marriage approved of by the tiny-minded fuckwits your nation, and by extension much of the world, is in thrall to.

  26. johnnyaction says:

    This is a rare time when youtube doubler really shines.

    Watch the unholy combination of Electric Six’s “Gay bar” and polishing the shaft video. 

    It really makes the shaft video “shine”.

  27. xiagang says:

    Well, I’m just learning all manner of things today. 

    Up first: I’ve never seen the term “megachurch” before. Upon Googling it, I found it’s quite a common word. Funnily enough, the fifth link is a report entitled “Megachurch pastor denies beating daughter: ‘The truth is, she was not choked, she was not punched’.” So, megachurch is some kind of awesome word, huh? I didn’t even check the second page just in case I was sucked into some weird XXX-rated site with stuff I don’t even want to imagine. 

    The second thing I learned is that the guy in the video (to whom a number of other men listened calmly – that is, registering no surprise on their faces and thus suggesting this was if not regular at least not previously unseen) was head of a church – sorry, megachurch, that attracts  15,000 people to regular services. Now, I don’t know about all of you – perhaps we see things different in Hong Kong – but how, I mean how, does this kind of thing appeal to 15,000 people? 

    It’s a strange world.

  28. danegeld says:

    that is fucking disturbing. I made it to about 15 seconds. Jesus. Christ. How do they pick church leaders?

    • That_Anonymous_Coward says:

      They are Judged first on looks, then on talent, then swimsuit, and finally evening gown.

      • ImmutableMichael says:

        Fear, loathing and a brown nylon suit.

        • SofaKing says:

          experience with being tempted into various vices that the church is staunchly against… and then finding forgiveness for themselves for those horrible acts… then the ability to entertain the parishioners with theatrics like in the video, then hair, collection of various colors of polyester suits, wife, wife’s hair and makeup and her ability to cry on cue and finally ability to live in a mansion and continue to plead for more money to ‘help the poor’ each and every sunday.

  29. I like the guy on the left, he looks like “wtf did I just sit in to watch? I don’t even…”

  30. Dcoronata says:

    This is so sick, I can’t even come up with a humorous response.

    I’ve got a really dirty mind, and I can’t come up with something on this… Very disturbing.

  31. Van Diemen says:

    What the hell did I just watch.

  32. Roland B. says:

    I’ll admit that I went to this church and their college for a couple of years back around the time he first became the pastor. Whenever I try to describe the place to someone who doesn’t know anything about them I share their view on Jerry Falwell…according to the folks there he was a stinkin’ liberal. Yep…

  33. srose278 says:

    Looks like the drought’s doing some funny things to people out here…

  34. callen says:

    How could this creep attract even one member to the church’s congregation? Or, are all the members creeps. I wonder.

    • EH says:

      Because it’s so creepy that he couldn’t possibly be trying to be creepy, so it must be profound in some way. Taking advantage of peoples’ goodwill and benefit of the doubt is a proven winnner.

  35. How do the guys behind him keep straight faces?

  36. SofaKing says:

    would anyone even consider buying a used car from this assclown?  What makes the people who attend this ‘church’ confident in placing their success or failure at ‘eternal salvation/damnation’ in his hands?

  37. thecardcheat says:

    Watch it with the sound off, for some reason it’s even creepier (if that’s possible).

  38. cbbb says:

    I think the guy on the left may have soiled his pants during the telling of this story.

  39. Kevin Pierce says:

    Wind him up, watch him go!

  40. mK says:

    The disparaging comments of the netizens about this power seeking hypocrit are deserved.

  41. All I can say is ehhhhhhhh….

  42. Preston Sturges says:

    He’s doing a good job working the shaft, but he needs to rub the tip.  That’s when you really start speaking in tongues and praising Jesus. 

  43. Preston Sturges says:

    It’s a shame that psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich decided into quackery (orgone energy etc) because he said that a lot of primitive behavior in conservative religious and political groups (like the virulently antisemitic rural Christian parties of the Weimar Republic who merged with the Nazis) was mainly an expression of sexual hysteria.

    Or maybe this guy needs to go sit in an orgone box. 

  44. Leto_Atreides says:

    LOL. Religion.

  45. Bender says:

    It’s like someone bet him that he couldn’t pretend to masturbate for minutes at a time while giving a sermon. 

  46. Bill B says:

    I am a Bob Jones Univ graduate. The freak in that video is (was) the chancellor of a school that makes BJU look downright liberal. The previous pastor of this church and founder of that school (Jack Hyles) also cheated on his wife for many years. They’re all C-U-L-Ts. The instant the news broke of Schaap’s ‘indiscretion’, his minions immediately began circling the wagons, planting seeds of doubt and blame for what happened: “She might not be a ‘full-victim’, ‘I hope she can ask forgiveness and forgive others’, etc.

    Independent Baptist Fundamentalists (IFB) are notorious for placing blame on the victims, and putting them through a hell of  pseudo-counseling, isolation, and etc. that does nothing for the victim, and everything to exonerate and cover-up for the miscreants who take advantage of their power and leadership.

    If there are any IFB abuse victims reading this, know that you are not alone. Contact the local authorities or a legitimate rape crisis center or a licensed counselor. You DO NOT have to tell your story to an ‘advocate’ or other ‘third party’ that will determine if you are a victim (yes, in the above church, potential victims are being told not to contact the FBI or LEOs directly).

  47. PhilRo says:

    Cant you see it now. An hour before he got up to speak he calls all his preacher buddies and says ” bet ya 100 bucks I can beat off an old arrow in front of the congregation”. One preacher friend pipes up and says “I double dog dare ya”. Later that evening there all watchin the video and saying “that son of a bitch did it” as there handin over the money they owe Schaap.

  48. Mister44 says:

    Sincerely – Baptists scare me. All the young earthers I know of are Baptists.

  49. Gyrofrog says:

    I can’t watch YouTube from where I type, but the guy on the left looks like Michael Dell, in deep fascination, concentration, or constipation (or possibly all three).   Just an observation.

  50. mccrum says:

    I like to imagine that I can watch things and understand the context as to what led to the things on screen.

    But this?  I have no idea what would have led to someone polishing what appears to be an arrow while having a conversation with “god.”  This totally escapes me.

  51. catgrin says:

    I went to college in Indiana (Purdue), and much of it is an odd place. Last year I took a road trip back to visit friends. While there, I took a day trip through the NW (it’s how you get to Chicago). On my way back south, I stopped off for lunch at a McDonald’s that had been taken over by a live, in-store country band and a group of seniors who were line dancing. I was told they did so every Tuesday. They were all very pleasant people, but it was still a very, very strange meal.

    Basically, NW Indiana IS David Lynch territory. 

    You never know what you’ll find when you go there.

  52. kiptw says:

    Seriously, if it hurts that much, you’re polishing it way too often. Take a day of rest, man.

  53. nunya says:

    If he is that loud and ridiculous just ‘polishing a shaft’, no wonder he got caught having actual sex.

    Excuse me. Gotta go vom.

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