NSFPOTS: the pornophone of yesteryear

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46 Responses to “NSFPOTS: the pornophone of yesteryear”

  1. eselqueso says:

    Saul Goodman should have one of these on his desk.

  2. would have been better if it was called aural sex. 

  3. HOTDAMN says:

    All of my want.

  4. Christopher says:

    The Erotica Phone: perfect for the man who wants an object instead of a relationship.

  5. chellberty says:

    Carpet dose not match the drapes. no thanks i love natural redheads for my phones.

    • Box of Cotton Swabs says:

      Carpet is discreetly covered by a leaf, so you can still place your order!

    •  Hate to ruin your joke by my pedantery, but: The “carpet” quite often isn’t a match for the “drapes” (wink wink, nudge nudge), regardless of hair, I mean drape, colour. In fact, matching “carpets” are very, very rare; not only for redheads but also for blondes.

      • Donald Petersen says:

        It matches on my redhaired missus quite beautifully…

        Oh!  Hi, Dear.  Just, er, catching up on some work-related emails.  No, nothing newsworthy on BoingBoing today.  Just some disgraced pastor wanking a stick in front of his congregation.

      • Gary61 says:

        what about a chemo patient who like her private bits bald as well? No drapes ……

  6. Mike Baker says:

    “Oh, uh, hi mom… uh, can you hold while I switch phones?”

  7. blueelm says:

    That is the funniest picture I have seen all day.

  8. Gilbert Wham says:

    Sex Panther Phone: 60% of the time, it works every time…

  9. angusm says:

    There’s a business opportunity for anyone who wants to make a portable version that you can put your smartphone into. Just think how slick and smooth you’ll look as you pull a naked woman from your jacket pocket and start talking …

  10. Avram Grumer says:

    Looks like something from the 1980s. I think the typeface is ITC Benguiat, so no earlier than 1978. 

    • Finnagain says:

       Do you mean “font”?

      • eselqueso says:

        The typeface is called ITC Benguiat, the fonts are the different sizes, weights and styles, e.g. italic 10 pt., or bold 18pt. etc. This distinction was much more delineated with type for presses, and has become muddied with the advent of personal computers.

    • Donald Petersen says:

      Not much later than ’78.  I’ve seen many ads using this style and typography in late-70s issues of Playboy and nowhere else.

      I mean, tucked in between the thought-provoking articles and commentary.

      • SomeGuyNamedMark says:

         It has the same layout as many computer ads from the same period.  Same colors, same shaded background and text positioning.

      • L_Mariachi says:

        That they accept “Visa” rather than “Bankamericard” does indicate that it’s after 1975.

        • Donald Petersen says:

          Was it that long ago?  Man, I still remember the switchover years when they called it BankAmericard/Visa.  And the other one was still MasterCharge.

          Too young to remember anyone using Diner’s Club, however.

  11. The glaring misogyny aside: This phone is an object of such monumental, glorious ugliness it’s simply *awesome*; the very distillation of bad taste. John Waters would propably cream his pants by just looking at it.

  12. bobo obobo says:

    Keypad on the base… Imagine the fun of navigating customer service menus on this thing. Sorry… I mean… BOOBIES!

  13. I have one, but it only calls Xaviera Hollander.

  14. I would have never thought Carl Sagan would endorse those.

  15. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    It makes you feel like you are talking to a girl’s knees!

    Guaranteed to make people feel extremely uncomfortable in your home.

  16. Kinda like the Calendar and Contacts program on a Mac?

  17. Gary61 says:

    What if James Bond had used one of these to all the villainess in Octopussy? 
    Would the universe have disappeared?

  18. voiceinthedistance says:

    This phone is the gold standard for making calls to 976 pay per minute phone sex numbers. Do they even still exist, for those whose old habits die hard (pun intended).

  19. Brainspore says:

    What, no rotary dial?? How is a guy supposed to practice his cunnilingus skills?

  20. Preston Sturges says:

    Back when you ordered something by clipping off the corner of the magazine  page and putting it in an envelope……

  21. Alden says:

    It doesn’t mention what  ringtone it has. I mean, it basically has to be a soundclip of someone orgasming, just to make it perfectly tacky.

  22. Donald Petersen says:

    Somewhere in the world, somebody’s about to visit BoingBoing and discover one of the least-dignified gigs their Granddad had in his catalog-model days.

  23. Kind of reminds me of “Omaha the Cat Dancer:”

  24. Gilbert Wham says:

    ‘Aaaaand, the World’s Most Embarrassing Murder Weapon, Blunt Instrument category goes to…’

  25. Chentzilla says:

    What’s NSFPOTS?

  26. Pretty sure one of those is featured in an episode of Canadian Pickers, where they visit a few small antique shops here in the Maritimes.

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