Sexy video game from the Apple //e era

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71 Responses to “Sexy video game from the Apple //e era”

  1. voiceinthedistance says:

    Va va va voom ASCII art perhaps?

    http://www.asciipr0n.com/pr0n/pinups/pinup00.txt

    • Box of Cotton Swabs says:

      MMMMMM

    • cdh1971 says:

      A limited version of this was included with  Castle Wolfenstein as a kind of Easter Egg. 

      IIRC, you’d have to type ‘hot coffee’ at a certain point in the game – I forget which. After the erotic easter egg, it would show a brief advert and info for obtaining the full version. 

  2. Jeez. You’d be better of just turning the dial on that TV to the scrambled porn channel. 

    • Donald Petersen says:

      Stack o’ dimes, ladies & germs… at least, that’s my own personal result. YMMV.

    • haineux says:

      I found this one for Interlude II: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8W7wmA7rnU

      I think we’ve found the distant ancestors of the Kama Sutra Apps.

  3. Antinous / Moderator says:

    And….by today’s advertising standards, she’d be considered obese.

  4. bcsizemo says:

    I remember way back in the BBS days there were gl softcore animations out there.  Probably more advanced than what an Apple II could handle, but certainly 386 territory.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GRASP_GL_library_format

    • Lexicat says:

      Nope, the Apple II had x-rated animated postcards (ah what fellow high school students will share during assembly language programming class in the mid 80s).

      • oldtaku says:

        And they’d use the disk drive to make ‘obscene’ sound effects. grind grind shooka shooka.

      • ponzicar says:

        That must be what I found as a kid. With our Apple ][ we got a big box of copied discs, and I loved to try random games out. I found one that was a picture of a man on a beach, who would get pleasured by a woman in a crudely animated scene when you pressed a button. Being quite young at the time, I didn’t quite understand what was going on. However, my mother did, who quickly threw out the disc and yelled at the people we got the computer from.

  5. oldtaku says:

    Porno Mad Libs!

  6. Oh, baby! Just look at that monitor! Wonder how much RAM is in that baby.

  7. Preston Sturges says:

    Ludes figured prominently in sex back then.

  8. nixiebunny says:

    Judging from the photo, the only way to get your computer nerd into bed back then was to bring the computer to bed with you. 

  9. GersonOnTheT says:

    Here’s the complete text of the program (courtesy of a quick Google search):  http://www.textfiles.com/sex/EROTICA/S/sexinter.txt

  10. LinkMan says:

    I’m pretty sure that’s an original Apple ][, which predated the //e by about 6 years.

    • nixiebunny says:

       I was going to mention that as well. The punctuation matters a lot.

    • tyger11 says:

       Could be a ][+.

      • LinkMan says:

         I thought ][+ at first, too (my first computer was a ][+), but the power light in the lower left corner of the keyboard was raised like a key on the ][ and was made flush with the case on the ][+, so I'm pretty sure this is a ][.

        • Eric Rucker says:

          It’s also the wrong color to actually be an Apple, so it’s a clone. So it’s most likely a 48k ][+ clone (because by the time the clones were actually widespread, 48k was the norm), Taiwan was cranking those out like crazy.

          • Vian Lawson says:

             I rather adore that you are taking the time and effort to identify the, er … hardware.  And with such affecting particulars!

  11. jtnix says:

    In the early 1980′s, the ad alone would have been a enough for me!

  12. Defenders of the Crown always will have my … um… yeah, ok, “heart” I guess … http://extralives.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/defenderofthecrown_ad.jpg

  13. You should run that software on a Tandy. (If you’re into leather)

  14. seyo says:

    hehe. Reminds me of the very first porn game I ever encountered, come to think of it, the last really, if you don’t count the Leisure Suit Larry games: MacPlaymate

    It was pretty damn raunchy. My parents’ friends had it on their Mac Plus and when we’d go over to their house for dinner I’d sneak away while they were smoking their after dinner cigarettes over uncleared plates to play a game or two. That’s when I learned that you could eject a 2.5″ floppy disc from the drive much faster using an unbent paper clip (also known in the Mac world as an “ejectrode.”)

  15. Heather C says:

    My friend still had this on her computer when I was in highschool!  I remember it. You would fill out a short questionnaire, (I remember one question was a choice between two or three celebrities to date- I chose Steve Martin,) and the program would suggest an evening’s activities for you and your paramour. It was very corny. I was trying to remember what the name of the program was, so thank you!

    • Heather C says:

      I even remember which option I was given for choosing Steve Martin:

      “99. The Ultimate Experience — Your love-life will never be the same! Congratulations! You have found the most secret, the most sought after Interlude of all time… The Ultimate Experience. And that it is. After this Interlude, your love life may never again be the same!

      The Ultimate Experience takes place over FOUR nights! It calls for patience and restraint — and a great deal of both! But the reward can be one of the greatest sexual experiences of your life.

      You are going to recreate your “very first time”. You are going to build up to a libido-shattering crescendo with all of the excitement of that very first time, BUT with all the experience that you currently have. The closer you follow each night’s instructions, the more gratifying the experience will be!”…

  16. mkanoap says:

    I remember seeing an animation on an Apple ][ that used the floppy drive as sound effects.  The animation would cycle between two images with the floppy drive head making a rasping sound with each thrust.  The speed of the animation would speed up (along with the drive rasping) until the crescendo, upon which the drive would make the same rattling sound familiar to anyone who has heard an apple ][ boot from a floppy.

    I remember thinking at the time that the porn was lame, but an extremely clever use of the hardware.

  17. Bloo says:

    Well, now we know what androids dream of…

    • malindrome says:

      Yeah, but only the really boring androids from high school that you never talk to anymore.

    • cdh1971 says:

      In high-school the android, or rather, artificial person,  with whom I was intimate was fully functional — programmed in multiple techniques — fully versatile…

      He said he came from the future and I believe him. He claimed his great grandparents were PowerBooks.

  18. David Jones says:

    I used to have this many years ago. If I recall correctly, the program simply asked you a bunch of questions (and asked your partner), and based on your answers at that sitting offered up an “interlude”, which I think was actually a reference to a hard copy manual that listed many of the interludes. However, there were a few interludes that you couldn’t read in advance, and when the computer suggested one of them, it just displayed it on the screen. These interludes were all suggestions for some sort of erotic evening with your partner.

  19. Mitch_M says:

    Makes me nostalgic for the magazines I swiped from my parents. Who is going to be brave and admit that they can name the model? Leslie Bovee I think.

  20. Chip Daniels says:

    Didn’t anyone look at the ad? It clearly shows that if you purchase the product, a beautiful half naked woman comes to your house, and curls up in your bed next to your Apple computer.
    Jeez.

  21. Mister44 says:

    This looks to be per-Leisure Suit Larry.

  22. cstatman says:

    sad,  I remember this program.     it was a precursor to the “Purity Test”  http://www.puritytest.org/   and the idea was you would have a party and “interview” the young ladies at your party, and it would get them revved up by talking about naughty things.    Ah, to be a computer nerd in 1982….

    Oddly, this leads to the NEXT Gen,  mike saenz  “Mac Playmate” for the 128k Mac,  which semi had graphics…  http://macintoshgarden.org/games/macplaymate

  23. boloid97 says:

    I had this briefly when I was in junior high.  I didn’t have a clue what it was supposed to do at the time.  I probably overwrote the floppy with Karateka or something more worthwhile not long after.

  24. noah django says:

    man, it must’ve been hard times for Gilda Radner.

  25. Souse says:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Softporn_Adventure

    Back when I was writing computer games, me and my business partner had lunch with Ken and Roberta in Boston, discussing a purchase of our company.

  26. zish says:

    I believe the point was that the Apple II got hot and bothered. Rather, it got overheated, because the ports underneath it were blocked by the satin sheets. The Apple II did not have a fan to cool it’s innards down, after all.

  27. snagglepuss says:

    No hard drive jokes yet ? You people really ARE nerds.

  28. David Trotsky says:

    Ahhh, still have my Apple IIe. Starts right up. I remember my father paying around $2,200 in 1980. He had to apply for an Apple Credit card to float the payments. That would be something to have now. I remember a white credit card with the apple logo on it. 

  29. Frank Diekman says:

    It’s all about when you view the page…

  30. Paul Guertin says:

    I remember being confused by those ads in Nibble magazine. I must have been 11 or 12 at the time.

  31. picklefactory says:

    I can’t help but leave this here — Jason Scott’s “The Atomic Level of Porn” which discusses this game among many others. http://vimeo.com/7088524

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