In post-Soviet Russia, Siberian banana just looks at you

I'm presently at the SF Assembly in St Petersburg, Russia, where I'm one of the writer guests. Last night I was helping prepare for the sashlik barbecue, slicing up cucumbers, when a con-goer looked over my shoulder and said, "Ah, banana Siberski!" -- that is, "Siberian bananas!"

Just look at it.

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: bananas • just look at it • photos • russia

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bcsizemo

So by that extension vodka is Siberian water?
- Boundegar
  
  I think vodka does mean “Water of Life.” So yea.
  - invictus
    
    Not sure who told you that, but they were severely confused. “Vodka” literally translates as “little water.” They were probably thinking of the French equivalent, eau de vie.
  - http://twitter.com/rvitelli Romeo Vitelli
    
    That seems to be a common theme in that part of the world. In Scandinavian countries, akvavit is a popular drink and the name comes from “water of life” in Latin.
    - Their feldspars
      
      ”Whiskey” means the same thing, curiously.
      - recoiled
        
        When in glasgow, I learned that “Uisge Betha” is “water of life” in Gaelic. And if you say that fast enough, or drunk enough, you know what the etymology of Whiskey is.
    - http://lemoutan.blogspot.com/ Lemoutan
      
      All the cool puellae puerique went for the aqua mortis though.
    - digi_owl
      
      Ah yes, the potato alcohol. Whoever dreamed up that one was really looking for something to get wasted on.
      
      The story goes that the Danish king put a ban on all other private alcohol production to try getting farmers to grow this new mysterious vegetable.
      - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1611170358 Stig Carlsson
        
        Brännvin, Burn(ing) Wine in Swedish…
      - digi_owl
        
        Yep, anything ca 30% alcohol on up is considered brennevin in Norway.
voiceinthedistance

Sometimes a banana is just a banana . . . and sometimes it isn’t.
- digi_owl
  
  Cigar, anyone?
http://twitter.com/gratefulvideo gratefulvideo

ribbed, for her pleasure.
Brie

Looks cold.
zarray

embryonic pickles
FuturaCity

Kt’s just a soursop and is delicious.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soursop
MonkeyBoy

I was at a banquet in St. Petersberg before the fall of the Berlin wall.

On the table there was plenty of vodka, Georgian champagne, caviar, etc.

At at each end of the table, high in a silver bowl raised 3 feet above the table was a bunch of a bananas. They were so rare and precious I think we were just supposed to admire them. At that time bananas were completely unavailable to ordinary Russians.
- Татьяна Свиридова
  
  Not really. Yes, there were not a single banana in most Russian sities and towns but in Moscow and Leningrad you could buy them easily. Alas, I lived in a bananaless sity!
  - MonkeyBoy
    
    I doubt even in Moscow and Leningrad that bananas were for sale in the state run stores for the general public – though there may have been such rumors in the hinterlands.
    
    At the banquet, we guessed that the bananas were being placed off limits so they could be diverted to the black market.
sam1148

Just don’t mention gay rights Cory, or let them know you might have homosexual characters in your books. That’s a big fine in Russian.
- Brie
  
  You mean do not stare at the “ Banana Siberski” for too long :P
nixiebunny

Look at the deadly banana peel in the latest XKCD comic.

http://xkcd.com/

Just look at it.
- sic transit gloria C.F.A.
  
  Permalink for those reading this later: http://xkcd.com/1097/
BombBlastLightingWaltz

Looks like the Siberski studded dildo.
http://twitter.com/WpgCameraMan Rock Hardwood

This is a cucumber, no ??
http://twitter.com/kaptsov alex kapets

This is definitely a cucumber.
St.-Petersburg is not a Siberia.
- Cory Doctorow
  
  That whooshing sound you heard was the joke screaming over your head like a low-flying MIG. Thanks for playing.
- TrevorSweet
  
  No Alex, clearly green bananas. Even Russians agree:
  
  http://9gag.com/gag/2182019
http://twitter.com/bloggermama slor

I don’t get it.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Then just look at it.
  - Dignan17
    
    So the joke is that it’s a cucumber, and someone called it a banana? Okay…
http://twitter.com/meepmeepmeep Alex Kim

Quite a poetic kenning. Sorta like “budgie smuggler”.
Björn Mars

Reminds me of the famous cover of November 1989 by the West German satirical magazine “Titanic”. The title reads: “Zonen-Gaby (17) in luck (FRG): My first banana”. “Zone” refers to East Germany’s informal name “sowjetische Besatzungszone” (soviet-occupied area). After the fall of the border, the first thing many Easterners bought in West German supermarkets were, of course, bananas.

http://blogs.taz.de/hausblog/files/2009/11/zonen-gaby.jpg
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Katrina-van-Malksvig/100000571611598 Katrina van Malksvig
  
  I grew up in East Germany and I can’t stand Bananas (never could, even the smell makes me want to poke my eyes out).
  Imagine the amount of “spoiled brat” comments my parents and I had to endure from well-meaning banana offerers!
pjcamp

It might look back.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1611170358 Stig Carlsson

Here in Sweden we use this type of cucumber or gherkin to make pickles: http://www.totallyswedish.com/en/webshop/food/pantry/jam-jars/felix-sweet-pickled-cucumber Made This way: http://www.food.com/recipe/aquavits-quick-pickled-cucumbers-118358 Smaklig måltid!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1611170358 Stig Carlsson

” Banana Siberski”. I forgot to write what i first thought about that: Typical Russian gallows humour that tells us something about the general unobtainability of bananas in the “Workers Paradise”…