Todd Akin apologizes for "legitimate rape" remark

From The Onion:

You see, what I said was, “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” But what I meant to say was, “I am a worthless, moronic sack of shit and an utterly irredeemable human being who needs to shut up and go away forever.”

It is clear to me now that I did not choose my words with care and did not get across the point I was trying to convey. In hindsight, I guess instead of using the words “legitimate rape,” I should have used the words “I am an unforgivable, unrepentant, and unconscionable subhuman dickhead.” Or better yet, “I am an evil, fucked-up man who should never have been elected to the United States Congress, and anyone who would vote for me is probably a pretty big fucking dumbshit, too.” See how much more sense that makes? It’s amazing how a few key word changes can totally alter the meaning of a statement.

There's a lot more.

I Misspoke—What I Meant To Say Is 'I Am Dumb As Dog Shit And I Am A Terrible Human Being'


  1. I hope you realize Todd Akin wasn’t addressing the same, socio-economic voting category most of you would fall under in their marketing research. He was clearly pandering to the only electoral base that votes for him anyway; 12th century time travelers who are confused and fearful of this ‘demon realm’. 

  2. INAW (I’m not a woman), but for what it’s worth coming from a man who at least believes that women should be counted as human-beings: The GOP ticket is going to repeal a century of suffragette struggle. It’s time we speak out as a nation and recall them all without compromise.

  3. Some real geniuses are weighing in on his side, like this Rep. Steve King:

    And this brain trust reporter from Politico: 

    So perhaps some can agree that all rapes that are reported are not actually rapes? Or are we gonna really deny that for PC sake?
    The left is often 1st to shut down debate as “off limits” when it deems so. Aren’t these moments supposed to open up a larger debate?

  4. And the RNC just doubled down on their No Abortion Under Any Circumstances plank. Nice timing guys.

    Dear remaining lady republicans: Please wake the fuck up!

    1. Exactly.   Akin and King are in trouble not for their position but for speaking it out loud.  What they said is precisely what nearly all the Repub Congresscritters firmly believe.    But as usual,  the USA is full of registered voters too damn stupid to understand this.

        1. Someone once suggested to me (and I think I’ve said this here before) that this is the ultimate goal of political campaigns.  The public becomes so overloaded that, come election day, large numbers of them (don’t) vote with their feet and stay away.  Those who do show up and vote are less likely, or unlikely, to be swayed.

          1. I vote now in two countries, the USA and Australia. In one, voting is a ‘right’ and everyone may do it, but is encouraged by various factors (like it being meaningless) not to. In the other, it is a responsibility and you get fined if you don’t vote.

            I support the latter. It also has a nice preferential voting system that makes non-duality parties possible and effective since you don’t end up saying ‘I can’t vote for the people I like because I have to vote against the people who are insane, want to kill me, take my children away, and institutionalise me for being a trans lesbian.’

            Not that it matters any more, as since I am a PA resident who is trans and has incomplete documents, I am no longer permitted to vote in the US. Just being a citizen is no longer enough.

  5. This is part of the process to outlaw all contraception and allow the twisted  members of the GOP inner circle to get laid.  By simultaneously ending all avenues of contraception and spreading the rumor that rapees can’t get preggers they hope to induce women to tolerate rape.  In this way the said GOPers will be free to exercise their twisted practices with great success.

      There’s a platform plank the GOP can run with!  Just like the oppressed 1%, misunderstood rapists need a little slack as well, eh?  Let the chips fall as they may.  We can always count on the uteruses to sort things out for us.

    2. By simultaneously ending all avenues of contraception and spreading the rumor that rapees can’t get preggers they hope to induce women to tolerate rape.


      I’m not a fan of the GOP, but… huh?

  6. Think about this – This guy got exposed on this one thing.  How many other people, people who are in positions of power and decision making, people who make the rules that we all live by, have completely wrong, idiotic, and even dangerous ideas founded in folklore hundreds of years old and make their decisions based on that?

    This is the sort of thing that should keep us awake at night.  And it’s the reason that people in these sorts of positions that state opinions on any subject that runs counter to observed evidence should have all of their opinions scrutinized carefully.

    Yes, I’m talking about creationists.  IMO it’s a red flag for “wrong and proud of it but still thinks he can make the rules for the rest of us.”

  7.  In the 1990 Texas gubernatorial race, Clayton Williams made a joke comparing rape to bad weather. Despite an 11-point lead, he lost the election to Ann Richards. If Akins wins, I think we will have to agree that this country is actually regressed over the past two decades.

    1. Oh I already have no doubt that the U.S. has regressed over the past two decades. In this and many other ways.

  8. What I find almost as repellent as Akins’ comments is this:

    NOW Romney finds the guts to chastise an appallingly ignorant, republican Missouri dirtclod, a CONGRESSMAN even, for his stupid and bigoted insensitive comments – Not just for “the questionable language he used”.

    NOW he finds the guts to do so. NOT when it was fellow appallingly ignorant republican Missouri dirtclod Rush Limbaugh calling a woman who dared to disagree with him a “slut”..

    Fuck Todd Akins. He’s small potatoes. Mitt Romney makes Todd Akins look like Gloria Steinem.

  9. “Legitimate” rape??
    If the Republicans win, the rich will abort Medicare and Social Security,
    as they rape this COUNTRY….”legitimately”.
    Lyin’ Ryan and More-mon-ey Romney are the Conservative Caviar Candidates. 
    They’re the DREAM team for the super-rich – they want it ALL!  
    But they’re the NIGHTMARE team for seniors, the middle-class , women’s rights, students receiving Pell grants, and the rest of us who are struggling …. while the big corporations send jobs and profits overseas, and the super-rich like Romney avoid paying their fair share. 
    Romney-Ryan can fool some of the people some of the time.
    But no more – we’re ON to you guys!

  10. Todd Akin:  “Please let me be a Senator because stupid misogynists deserve representation in our Federal Government.”

  11. You know I woundn’t normally give a shit about what one man says, but this man happens to be representative of a big-ass cross-section of whackjobs who have a say in how American society operates on a day-to-day basis.

    1. I have US Republican in-laws, it is infuriating to see how many people will look at someone like this and say “well, at least he’s opposing abortion / encouraging public prayer / not a Muslim like Obama”. Recently my in-laws gave an older American guy our name so that we could help him try to find a job in our city in China. Last week he complained that Obama was destroying the economy by considering the environment in deciding on the Alaska-Texas pipeline, and wondered out loud *in front of an English-speaking Chinese person* why god would bless a Communist country with rain and reject America. Earlier we had taken him to an island which had a Buddhist shrine, at which point he came out with the only Chinese I’ve heard him use – “Jesus loves you”, which he repeated to everyone around. Needless to say, my opinion of US Republicans has not improved over the past few weeks.

    2. Exactly – these are the same people who tell kids at abstinence rallies that condoms have a high failure rate (blatant lie). They thrive on ignorance and fear.

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