"…when officers searched [Marcus] Banwell they found another four [Scotch Bonnet] chili peppers in his pocket, a stolen milkshake and fruit juice, and a clarinet stashed in his waistband, which was missing from a music shop." Scotch Bonnets are up to 50 times hotter than jalapeños by weight.

  • Brainspore

    I had the fleeting thought “why would anyone steal a milkshake?” but the answer seems pretty self-evident.

    • http://burntheflag.ca Jardine

      Another possible reason is if you desire to bring all the boys to the yard but do not possess a milkshake sufficient to do so.

      • http://daruiburns.tumblr.com/ Dlo Burns

        But in the end the proprietors filed a charge.

    • Assault_is_eternal

      How do you steal a milkshake? Are they pre-made, or do you have to go behind a counter and pour it yourself?

      • Brainspore

        How do you steal a milkshake?

        I think this gentleman explained it best.

  • Jerril

    You want dairy with your hot peppers, that’s for sure.

  • Mitchell Glaser

    They sentenced him to 14 weeks in jail. By which time his butt may have stopped burning.

    • http://daruiburns.tumblr.com/ Dlo Burns

      One of the best reliefs I’ve found is an application of cortisone cream.

      • Brainspore

        Great tip, asshole. Now he’s gonna shoplift all the cortisone cream.

  • miasm

    And most eclectic thief of the year award goes to…

  • http://twitter.com/ManekiNico Maneki Nico

    Is that a clarinet in your waistband, or are you just happy to see me?

  • Paul Renault

    A few years ago, I was surprised to discover some Scotch Bonnet peppers in a local supermarket.  Under a sign that read “Miniature Peppers”.

    I found the department’s manager and suggested that it might be a good idea to change the sign.

  • The Dark Roux

    Since chiles are usually sold by weight, and one requires a very small number of scotch bonnets to make absolutely anything fiery hot, it seems like a very strange thing to steal.  I use them quite often, but I don’t think I’ve ever left the grocery store with more than $0.15 worth in a single trip.

    • Tribune

      Maybe he looked them up on the internet and got the same first hit as I did for price:

      Scotch Bonnet PepperMin. Order: 10 Metric TonsFOB Price: US $1000-2000 / Metric Ton

      • The Dark Roux

        That’ll be good for at least seven or eight batches of salsa.

  • IronEdithKidd

    We planted our hottest peppers (ghost and scotch bonnet) nearest the sidewalk in case anyone got the notion to steal some.  If anyone does, they’ll be really sorry about it.