Greatest movie threats of all time


57 Responses to “Greatest movie threats of all time”

  1. Tribune says:

    Audio NSFW

  2. Quiche de Resistance says:

    Someday, I think you and I are going to have a serious disagreement.
    Last of the Mohicans, if it was in there I missed it.

  3. Mike Norman says:

    LOL Seagal!

  4. Assault_is_eternal says:

    “The Long Kiss Goodnight” was represented twice. Very nice

  5. Snig says:


    You do that, you’d best make peace with your dear and fluffy lord.

  6. Jim Schmidt says:

    Plenty o’ Pesci…

    • eselqueso says:

      Lots o’ Clint, too. But we didn’t feel lucky, punk. DID WE!?!

      • hymenopterid says:

        This was a good one from Unforgiven:

        “All right, I’m coming out. Any man I see out there, I’m gonna shoot him. Any sunofabitch takes a shot at me, I’m not only gonna kill him, but I’m gonna kill his wife, all his friends, and burn his god damn house down. ”

  7. Jay Aldred says:

    Nobody fucked with the wrong mexican?

  8. Christopher says:

    Eleven minutes and 36 seconds and yet he neglected to include this:

  9. DreamboatSkanky says:

    Doctor Detroit:  I warn you, I’m a chiropractor! I will use my skills negatively! 

  10. Quiche de Resistance says:

    Another very creepy threat omitted from this compilation:

    It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

  11. ChicagoD says:

    Slap the taste out of your mouth is a timeless, useful classic.

  12. Diogenes says:

    Which one held the most believable threat?  I’d say the one from Stand by Me.

    “Whaddya gonna do, shoot us all?”

    “No, Ace.  Just you”

    The other bad guys that do all that talking and screaming just dilute the power of their words.  The kid with the gun in his shaking hand looks the most dangerous to me.

  13. miasm says:

    I will reach inside you and pull your asshole out through your mouth!

  14. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    FBI said that after The Godfather came out all the mafia guys started imitating the movie.

  15. ldobe says:

     Ima going to barbecue your ass in molasses!

  16. rsavits says:

    He missed my favorite one from Grosse Point Blank: comes in around the 3:40 mark for the impatient.

  17. futnuh says:

    When I was a kid, the neighborhood bully threatened me … once. I later found out that my otherwise peaceful and bookish mother had grabbed him and delivered this zinger,”touch my son again and I’ll tear your arm off and beat you with the soggy end.”.

  18. awjt says:

    That was so satisfying to watch.  Seriously.  It got out a lot of my pent up aggression today just vicariously appreciating all those threats.

  19. frogmarch says:

    “It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet. But if you threaten to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a burned-out cinder.”

  20. Todd Fife says:

    I am godzilla . . . you are Japan!

  21. sdmikev says:

    I loved that.  Lots of fun.
    Missing these, though –

    Rambo, this is Murdock, we’re glad you’re alive. Where the hell are you? Give us your position and we’ll come to pick you up!

    Murdock… I’m coming to get you.


    No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.

  22. bcsizemo says:

    Movie threats seem to involve a lot of fucking and shitting into people…

  23. BonzoDog1 says:

    “From hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned whale.”

  24. Dan Morrison says:

    Aw. Missing the “Princess Bride”  “To the pain” threat.
    Surely THE most awesome movie threat ever made.

  25. Culturedropout says:

    What???  No, ” Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you.”  ?  Meh.

  26. rufustfyrfly says:

    One of the few redeeming moments from Death to Smoochy:

    Tommy (Female Irish Gangster):
    You like fairy tales, then?


    Jimmy, tell him the one about the worthless prick that got his head chopped off with an axe. 

  27. thequickbrownfox says:

    Coen brothers well represented here, they really  put some thought into developing their bad guys.

    J. E. Freeman  as Eddie the Dane in “Millers Crossing” is the greatest.

    Why no Javier Bardem from “No Country for Old Men” ?

  28. jhertzli says:

    I thought the Monty Python quote would be  “I’ll bite your kneecaps off!”

  29. Pirate Jenny says:

    Ah, I had the kind of day that made me need this. Love the “I’m gonna hit you so hard . . . ” series :)

  30. sean says:

    “Go on, run, you  bastard! Run!!! You can run, but you can’t fuckin hide! Well, I guess you can hide! But if you don’t hide really really good I’ll probably find you one day and then you’ll be sorry!”

  31. Ana ... says:

    I really like the Robocop one. Simple and not at all effective.

  32. David Howe says:

    Ah, right up there with the Talking Killer and the Hooker with a Heart of Gold.  Gotta love the Lazy Screenwriter’s Toolbox.  Nothing quite pads a movie like trash talk.  Mix in some slow motion action and a car chase and you’ve got yourself a movie.

  33. Tipoum says:

    my favourite one this year is not from a movie :

  34. Graeme McGregor says:

    Does “Get away from her you bitch” qualify as a threat?

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