Police in Essex, England, said Monday that they've found "no evidence to support locals' claims that they'd spotted a lion." [Reuters]

21 Responses to “British police call off lion hunt”

  1. It was Pride weekend, after all.

  2. fredh says:

    Those people are just lion.

  3. bzishi says:

    Why not? Lions and unicorns are on the coat of arms for the UK. Presumably they are native fauna.

  4. Brainspore says:

    Officials confirm that the Snipe remains at large, last seen in the company of a wild goose.

  5. EH says:

    I believe that Florida still has a monkey/ape on the loose.

  6. Henry Pootel says:

    A… rampant lion?

  7. Antinous / Moderator says:

    There were several definitive statements from the police that the photos absolutely, positively showed a lion.   Here’s one of the photos.  Srsly.

  8. The lion probably just went into hiding what with being an illegal immigrant and all.

  9. OK, who left the wardrobe open again?

  10. Fred Cairns says:

    The Daily Mash has what looks like a plausible report on the item: 
    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/lion-bar-wrapper-triggers-mass-panic-2012082839140 

  11. Christopher says:

    Follow up: in an attempt to prevent two dolphins from mating at a local aquarium an employee was returning from the seaside with two baby seagulls, since their cheeping is the only thing known to quell the amorous desires of dolphins. On his return trip he noticed the lion sleeping in the middle of the road. Unable to go around it he carefully stepped over it.

    He was later arrested for transporting young gulls across a sedate lion for immoral porpoises. 

  12. Daneel says:

    A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get pissed. The giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, “Oi. You can’t leave that lyin’ there.” And the man says, “No. It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Leave a Reply