Comments on: The internet uncovers the horrible Ninja Turtles bullet we all dodged

By: Donald Petersen

Donald Petersen — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 23:54:00 +0000

Every now and then there used to be a semi-public screening of a few busted pilots in the L.A. area, but I have no idea if that still goes on or not. I have a dozen or so tapes of unsold pilots, but I can’t think of any of those that were particularly good. Most were forgettable, a few were remarkably awful. But yeah, there have to be some good ones out there. Heat Vision and Jack got quite a cult following. I’ve been out of touch; I haven’t worked on a pilot in a few years now.

By: Joe Preston

Joe Preston — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 14:18:00 +0000

“Hollywood” takes this view as a point of pride. If you followed the torturous path of the Superman reboot, it’s clear that that the host of heavy hitters involved with that project see themselves as the image makers of record for anything they touch. They seem genuinely hostile to faithful adaptations. How many times do you see publicity for a film that mentions that actors, directors etc. did not read the source material. Doesn’t it seem odd that this is a fact they want reported rather than something they would hide. They are proud of being ignorant of the source.

By: babylost

babylost — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 13:55:00 +0000

I heard he was going to fight michael bay for it in a boxing match

By: Quiche de Resistance

Quiche de Resistance — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 13:24:00 +0000

I’ll just leave this here…

By: Quiche de Resistance

Quiche de Resistance — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 13:23:00 +0000

NEEDS MOAR NANOBOTS

By: Bill Galloway

Bill Galloway — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 12:39:00 +0000

Sure, but don’t stop there. How about the hidden diamond mine of all those filmed pilots for shows that don’t get picked up? I bet there’s quite a few gems among all the dross, and none of it ever gets shown to anybody anywhere except planning executives.

By: Tadas Jelinek

Tadas Jelinek — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 12:24:00 +0000

Wikileaks should broaden their perspective and start publishing leaked movie scripts.

By: Tonweight

Tonweight — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 12:16:00 +0000

*Stomped*… count their weasels before they’re *stomped.*

What day is that again, exactly? I need to find my boots… and Viking helmet… and mayonnaise.

By: Tonweight

Tonweight — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 12:15:00 +0000

::slow clap::

By: Tonweight

Tonweight — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 12:14:00 +0000

Work it out on the floor, y’all.

By: Xyzzy

Xyzzy — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 09:09:00 +0000

I always liked Howard the Duck (the movie), too — I got a real kick out of finding out the “flying over the water” scenes were filmed in my hometown’s river, a mile or two from the “yank the chassis out of the police car” scene in American Graffiti.

By: costeau

costeau — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 07:25:00 +0000

d’A FUQ?!?

Middle-aged Mutant Ninja Turtles would be more appropriate now, as someone points out, but Casey Jones and April as a couple?? That in itself is nothing less than sacrilege!Then there’s the issue of removing Oroku Saki, and replacing him with some German dude.Like, what’s up with that?

By: Anon_Mahna

Anon_Mahna — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 06:28:00 +0000

Uwe Boll has been rumoured to be inquiring about getting his hands on it…..

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 02:40:00 +0000

I blame John Saxon for my unhealthy and disturbing love of John Saxon. He’s like that in everything.

By: ashypete

ashypete — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 02:07:00 +0000

And that Starsky & Hutch episode where he’s a vampire…

By: ashypete

ashypete — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 02:03:00 +0000

I blame that film for my unhealthy and disturbing love of John Saxon.

By: Mister44

Mister44 — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 01:39:00 +0000

A script too awful for Michael Bay to use? I didn’t think there was such a thing!

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 23:45:00 +0000

The “explosion” would give it away.

By: Jonathan Badger

Jonathan Badger — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 23:10:00 +0000

Okay, getting rid of “mutant” is dumb, but I’m not sure they can plausibly still be “teenage” after all these years. Actually, a cleverer person than Bay could have turned this fact into a biting satire of the horrors of impending middle age while still refusing to let go of the pop culture of one’s youth

By: bcsizemo

bcsizemo — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 23:01:00 +0000

You know if you could slip something about the Turtles possibly being robots in there you’d have a pretty straight shot to making Transformers BeastWars…

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:59:00 +0000

I loved that film. It was so campy.

By: bcsizemo

bcsizemo — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:58:00 +0000

I love Alien Resurrection…but not in the way I love the other three. It really just seems like a big nerdy parody of the others, which makes me smile (but I get why most people don’t care for it.)

And what’s wrong with Howard the Duck? I’ll admit it’s been YEARS since I last saw it, but I thought it was a pretty decent movie. I mean not life altering, but enjoyable in a campy and humorous sort of way.

By: bcsizemo

bcsizemo — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:55:00 +0000

I’m not even sure you’d figure out what you were looking at until maybe an hour in. The close up and quick cut motions would be enough to keep most people guessing for quite a while.

By: bcsizemo

bcsizemo — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:52:00 +0000

Sounds more like Voltron…

By: Jorpho

Jorpho — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:37:00 +0000

the turtles are able to perform feats of strength and agility like lifting forklifts and turning themselves into projectiles after hiding in their shells

It took me a surprisingly long amount of time to realize that this bit here clearly envisages a resurgence of the toy line.

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:31:00 +0000

I’m pretty sure that staring at his taint for three hours would be more entertaining than watching one of his films.

By: EH

EH — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:28:00 +0000

Ha ha, funny! If a major director’s take isn’t popular they’ll just tell themselves that the entire idea was incontrovertibly flawed and therefore there’s no possibility of making a version that people will pay to see.

By: Suburbancowboy

Suburbancowboy — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:17:00 +0000

Are we certain this wasn’t the script for The Asylum’s Teenaged Mutated Judo Tortoises?

By: EeyoreX

EeyoreX — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:16:00 +0000

So the writers totally destroyed the Casey Jones character in order to insert a boyish Mary-Sue in his place.
I think it’s safe to assume that they were lobbying for Shia LeBeof to play the part? It is, after all, the exact same ad hoc character that he has played in almost every mayor movie franchise during the last decade.
The reoccurrence of this unnecessary staple boy protagonist in all those unrelated scripts really indicates that there is a Devil, and that he is on the take.

By: Chentzilla

Chentzilla — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 21:45:00 +0000

Must be not his first time.