So, I don't like to make a career out of snarking on things. I prefer to focus on things that don't make me want to break an expensive piece of technology or kill the entire internet with fire. And it's not even the internet's fault, this thing I'm about to show you. It is a trailer for an "official" sequel to the 1983 cult holiday marathon classic, A Christmas Story. It never had to exist, and yet here it is. Existing. It's not coming to theaters, but it is still asking you to spend your hard-earned money (or imaginary money aka credit) on a movie that should have never made it further than a fan-fiction web site.
In A Christmas Story 2, we follow a teenage Ralphie in a Porky's-style coming-of-age story, in which he covets not a Red Ryder BB gun, but a shiny new car, as teenage boys are wont to do. The Old Man, previously played by the late great Darren McGavin, is now played by Daniel Stern -- who was one of the Wet Bandits in Home Alone. And that felt like bile in my mouth just now. Bile, mixed with tears, because the previously dormant tear ducts of my soul have just been activated.
You know, original writer/narrator Jean Shepherd and director Bob Clark actually made their own actual "official" sequel to A Christmas Storyin 1994, and it turned out... well, it turned out. But no? This thing still had to be made, huh? Fine. Make some filthy bile money.
While you still won’t be able to buy that Slayer Christmas sweater you’ve been wanting ever since you knew it existed, there is another equally hardcore option if you’re still in need of something ugly and holiday-themed: the Home Alone sweater. Complete with prancing reindeer on the wearer’s biceps and a healthy portion of snowflakes, […]
Jared Sinclair developed the RSS reader app Unread, which made $10,000 in its first 24 hours on the iOS market. And we’ve all heard the story of Flappy Bird developer Dong Nguyen, whose creation was reportedly earning $50,000 a day at the height of its 2013 explosion. While those are rare examples, they’re also testament to the […]
If you or your company’s IT system are besieged by black hat cyber attacks, an ethical hacker might be all that stands between crippling damage and a company’s long-term prosperity. It’s no wonder that the market for IT security specialists is exploding. Certification is the key – so learn the tenets of ethical hacking and get […]
Your laptop and mobile devices are top of the line…so why are you trotting out that raggedy decades-old suitcase when you go somewhere? Time to up your travel game with a complete 5-piece Herschel Travel Luggage bundle…and we’ll even give it to you for free!Of course, you’ve got to win the Ultimate Herschel Travel Bundle […]