So, I don't like to make a career out of snarking on things. I prefer to focus on things that don't make me want to break an expensive piece of technology or kill the entire internet with fire. And it's not even the internet's fault, this thing I'm about to show you. It is a trailer for an "official" sequel to the 1983 cult holiday marathon classic, A Christmas Story. It never had to exist, and yet here it is. Existing. It's not coming to theaters, but it is still asking you to spend your hard-earned money (or imaginary money aka credit) on a movie that should have never made it further than a fan-fiction web site.
In A Christmas Story 2, we follow a teenage Ralphie in a Porky's-style coming-of-age story, in which he covets not a Red Ryder BB gun, but a shiny new car, as teenage boys are wont to do. The Old Man, previously played by the late great Darren McGavin, is now played by Daniel Stern -- who was one of the Wet Bandits in Home Alone. And that felt like bile in my mouth just now. Bile, mixed with tears, because the previously dormant tear ducts of my soul have just been activated.
You know, original writer/narrator Jean Shepherd and director Bob Clark actually made their own actual "official" sequel to A Christmas Storyin 1994, and it turned out... well, it turned out. But no? This thing still had to be made, huh? Fine. Make some filthy bile money.
While you still won’t be able to buy that Slayer Christmas sweater you’ve been wanting ever since you knew it existed, there is another equally hardcore option if you’re still in need of something ugly and holiday-themed: the Home Alone sweater. Complete with prancing reindeer on the wearer’s biceps and a healthy portion of snowflakes, […]
Experienced shutterbugs with DSLR cameras have boatloads of lens options for capturing the moment. Unfortunately, smartphone photographers often get stuck with their one crummy lens, which means limited zoom and focus for their final image.Step up your smartphone’s photographic power with the Acesori 5-Piece Smartphone Camera Lens Kit, now just $9.99 in the Boing Boing Store.Magnetic rings easily […]
Some truths are universal. For one, your phone will always run out of power when you most need it. For another, the charging cords that come packaged with your Apple device will fray, split, and rip faster than Usain Bolt in a game of tag.Instead, pick up a charging cord that anyone would have a tough […]
Some people say magic tricks are nerdy and best left to your 12-year-old asthmatic cousin. But others see value in perfecting the slight of hand and showmanship associated with a perfectly executed routine. We’re firmly in the latter camp. And now, we’re giving you the ability to put a few parlor tricks up your sleeve with the Penguin […]