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Candy-corn flavored Oreos are a thing

Cory Doctorow at 9:49 am Sat, Sep 8, 2012

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The end-times are upon us (Thanks, Fipi Lele!)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE:  carbs • Food • not food • ZOMGWEREALLGONNADIERUNHIDE

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  • IndexMe

    Ugh. Repellent dirty mouth plays a middle school prank. Video contains no food review but shows closeup. I thought I gotta get some candy corn oreos! then watched the video and yuck, now I need a unicorn chaser..

    • http://twitter.com/yytnim mintyy

      Shooting with a struggling auto-focus on f/1.8 made me more nauseous than the prank. 

  • http://ae4rv.com/ royaltrux

    BLAAAAARG!

    • benher

      Oh now, let’s not be so quick to judGAAARRRHHLLLLRRRFHHHH!!

  • CLamb

    The box says they are “artificially flavored”.  I guess they aren’t made from real candy corn then.

    • beforewepost

      That’s a relief that no candy corns were injured making these cookies.

  • http://www.microcar.org microcars

    So if they used real candy corns to make the filling could it be labeled: Naturally Flavored?

  • cstatman

    i did not know candy corn had a flavor,  other than corn syrup.   hmmm.

    • http://twitter.com/GideonTJones Gideon Jones

      Good ones are honey and vanilla flavored.

      • http://tortoise-brand-pot-scrubbing-cleaner.myopenid.com/ Mister

        There are good ones?

  • http://beerandmilk.com/ Mark N.

    What’s next, “Circus Peanut” Oreo’s?

    I am very disappointed that its nothing more then colored frosting. I was hoping that they actually kept the physical consistency of candy corn, and just reshaped it to fit their cookie.

    • pjcamp

       What a killer idea! Thousand year old banana flavored peanut shaped marshmallow chocolate cookies. What could possibly go wrong?

  • Glen Able

    Please could someone translate Oreo into the language of UK biscuits?  I’ve always assumed they’re some kind of indecorous circular Bourbon.

    • http://twitter.com/Pipenta Pipenta

      This might offer some insights:

      http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2012/01/27/145918343/rethinking-the-oreo-for-chinese-consumers

      Also I am sure there are Oreos available in the UK if you hunt them down. I’ve found Marmite here in the US and that HAS to have less appeal than Oreos.

      • Adrian Jones

         Oreos are readily available in the UK. They even advertise them on TV.

        What I need translating is candy corn. Is it candy? Is it corn? Is it candied corn? Is it corn shaped candy?

        • xkot

          They’re a mild, vaguely vanilla-flavored candy with a crumbly-pasty consistency. They’re something of a Hallowe’en tradition in the U.S. No one really likes them very much. I’ll eat them, but they do not stir my soul. It’s more fun to put them between your lips and your real teeth and pretend to be either a hillbilly with poor dental hygiene, or a vampire, with only slightly better dental hygiene.

          • danimagoo

            I am one of the rare people in this world who actually loves candy corn.  What can I say, I’m really, really weird.

          • Halloween_Jack

            I can take candy corn in small doses, and prefer the “Indian” variation.

          • http://twitter.com/cjporkchop cjporkchop

             Crumbly-pasty, yes, and also waxy.

          • http://www.gyrofrog.com/ Gyrofrog

             No, I dig ‘em.  They’re also good mixed in a bowl with (shelled) peanuts.

        • Michael Rosefield

          The only reason I knew about candy corn is MS Paint Adventures….

    • Halloween_Jack

      They’re a couple of chocolate biscuits with a paste in the middle that’s basically a mixture of confectioner’s sugar and Crisco-type vegetable shortening. The biscuits, while not as dark-chocolatey in taste as the color would indicate, are fairly rich and not too sweet. The pattern embossed in the biscuit facilitates the absorption of milk (as does the porous surface generally), and dunking them in milk and bringing them to your mouth a millisecond before they disintegrate is a ritual as important as the Tim-Tam slam in Australia.

      • Halloween_Jack

        Also, as if it needs to be said, the above applies only to the original; the various variations are at best a mild curiosity, and often an abomination.

      • BillStewart2012

        There are many alternative rituals, though, involving removing one of the biscuits, and either eating the filling directly (optionally discarding both biscuits), or combining with another one-biscuit+filling Oreo, or stacking multiples of them terminated with a whole Oreo, or …

        And there are some variations on the basic sandwich cookie, such as double-thick filling or different colors/flavors of filling such as mint, the recent seven-layer-rainbow-filling Oreo, etc.

        There are also some ethnic and regional complexities involved – the original Oreo cookies were made with lard, so Jewish kids ate Hydrox cookies instead (which were a competitor’s cookie that used vegetable shortening of some kind.  According to Wikipedia, Hydrox were the original, Oreos were a knockoff, and Oreo eventually conquered the market.)  My mother always bought Hydrox when I was a kid, because it was the brand she’d grown up with. 

        • Steve Miller

          Hydrox? Oreo? Does it matter? Both taste like dirt with some grease and a whole lot of sugar.

        • Halloween_Jack

          True, and I won’t say that I’ve never had a fudge-dipped Oreo or one with mint filling, but generally I like to kick it oldskool.

    • echolocate chocolate

      They’re like a blander, more cardboardy Bourbon with a wax-like filling.

      • bluest_one

         Exactly -  they’re so tasteless. I don’t know whay anyone would eat them having eaten proper British biscuits. They taste of next-to-nothing. Not even the “cream” tastes creamy.

        Can’t buy a Gypsy Cream to save my life, but this vile crap is everywhere.

  • http://twitter.com/Pipenta Pipenta

    Mark N.: “What’s next, “Circus Peanut” Oreo’s?”

    The humanity! The humanity!

  • Russ McClay

    Food version of jumping the shark. 

  • Phrosty12

    “Oh, man. I know, right? Those look terrible. Ha ha ha. What are they thinking?” .:immediately goes out and buys a pack:.

  • voiceinthedistance

    I’m with Cory on this one.  This is exactly how I have calibrated my End-Times-O-Meter. Candy Corn Oreos = Start the countdown.

  • Harold

    For half a  second I was hoping these would be the mango & orange flavored Oreos from China: https://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2012/01/27/145918343/rethinking-the-oreo-for-chinese-consumers

  • Jason Baker

    By extension, candy corn and oreo flavored vomit is also now a thing.

    • http://twitter.com/anderalert Pat Eisel

      Laughing before…now crying.

  • fredh

    Jones Soda makes a Candy Corn flavor around Halloween! They come in tiny 8oz cans.

  • http://daruiburns.tumblr.com/ Dlo Burns

    I’m surprised at the amount of people I’ve met that hate candy corn, but then I guess they’ve never had any fresh.

  • Marky

    Homemade candy corn… Umm.

    Thanks Alton!
    http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/candy-corn-recipe/index.html

  • Uppitynproud

    The video is a un seller. Its not like gawd awful candy corn needs any more un selling. I predict a very short lifespan.

    “The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It’s unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that’s never been advertised. And there’s a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there’s a ton of it left over. And the candy corn company sends the guys to the villages and they collect out of the dumpsters all the candy corn we’ve thrown away. They wash it!! They wash it!

    I’ll never forget the first time my mother gave me candy corn. She said, “Here – Lewis, this is candy corn. It’s corn that tastes like candy”. [high pitched sound] This tastes like crap! And every year since then, Halloween has returned and I, like an Alzhiemer’s patient, find myself in the room, and the room has a big table in it, and on the table is a bowl of candy corn. And I look at it as if I’ve never seen it before. “Candy corn”, I think. “Corn that tastes like candy. I can’t wait”. (Samples one) Son of a bitch!!”

    – comedian Lewis Black

    • Antinous / Moderator

      There should be a font that’s used exclusively for Lewis Black saying “Son of a bitch!”

      • BillStewart2012

         Comic Serif?

        • http://twitter.com/Stretchedwiener Wetterschneider

           Comic Swearif.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1391262153 Manzobar Hercules Gregarin

    They are doing all kinds of varieties of Oreos right now, in the “throw a bunch of stuff against the wall and see what sticks” vein of market research. There’s a neopolitan oreo and a raspberry something oreo as well. I recommend the sugar-free oreos, but they are pretty expensive for what you get.

    • bcsizemo

      They want me to buy more Oreo’s that’s easy.
      Don’t give me shitty flavors no one likes.
      Give me MOAR of that creamy center.
      Yes, I take double stuffs and turn them into quad stuffed Oreos.

  • sam1148

    Candy corn is the larval stage in a traffic cones life cycle.

    • http://twitter.com/anderalert Pat Eisel

      You guys are slayin’ me

  • Rotwang

    I tried a few of these today.  They are, to be charitable, “not so good.”

  • Beercritic

    There simply isn’t enough pot worldwide to make the idea palatable.

  • bcsizemo

    And at the local Wally World today I also saw candy corn M&M’s…and I thought that was bad enough.

    Besides what about a Cadbury cream egg filling Oreo?  Maybe mix it with the traditional Oreo creme to give it a good consistency.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=519588682 Robert Moore

    That’s nothing.  Here in China there are lots of flavors of Oreos including birthday cake frosting, strawberry jam, less sweet (for the Chinese palette), green tea…

    • DeS11

      In the grocery store yesterday I finally looked at the variety of Oreos we have available in the US. I thought we should probably have an intervention with Nabisco. Straying too far!!!! But of course I want to try them all!!  :D

  • zotlerg

    Soon, everything will me made from corn.   It’s being used in every conceivable food – pizzas, coleslaw, meat. It provided a “just baked” sheen on bread and cakes. And by the mid 1980s it completely replaced sugar in soft drinks as it was super cheap at third of the price. Corn syrup is easily converted into fat and suppresses the hormone leptin which is meant to tell your brain you’ve had enough food. Result – great big fat buggers rolling about the place! : p

    • Andy Reilly

      And don’t forget “and craves even more…” King Corn. They even put it in your gasoline now, because it is supposed to burn cleaner. Even though ethanol production uses more petroleum than if you just burned the petroleum itself. Oh, and the fact that so many engines are now all aluminum, if not at least aluminum heads, for which that alcohol-burning can be more corrosive. I wish I didn’t love arepas, because I really hate the corn industry. 

  • Tim Drage

    BEEEEEE RE-BORN!
    BEEEEEEEEE RE-FORMED!
    http://youtu.be/AIYKYyDfEEg

  • DeS11

    Bought these yesterday, had one almost immediately. SO DELICIOUS! Like the Candy Corn Hersey’s Kisses from years past but with a cookie too. No, these are not healthy in the slightest. But it’s Halloween and eff you, I do what I want.

    HATERS GONNA HATE!

    • raddcivil

      That`s right “Craving” rules. Haters keep out of the Cookie Aisle.There a reason why Grapefruit is at the other end of the Store.

      • http://daruiburns.tumblr.com/ Dlo Burns

         Oreos might kill me slowly but grapefruit neutralizes my meds.

    • zotlerg

      When’s your Halloween?

  • http://twitter.com/anderalert Pat Eisel

    Just told my 6 yr old about what I was reading. His response…”Can we get it?”…simple as that.

  • Ethan Taliesin Houser

    I hear “Dog-shit flavored Oreos” was narrowly beaten out.

  • realityhater

    Yuck ! that sounds as vile as “candy corn” tastes. The only candy I would throw away on Halloween night as a child were those damn candy corns . Next up dulce de leche oreo’s  for the Latin America Market ! 
    Nabisco – give up the Flovorama you are trying to sell and just put the double back in “double stuff” !Anyone else notice you need a feeler gauge to measure the thinness of the cream filling now days – bet that move saved them .005 cents for each manufactured  cookie .

  • http://www.facebook.com/ivy.glasgow.9 Ivy Glasgow

    I saw these in the wild today at Target while I was getting my real candy corn. 

  • PinkWithIndignation

    If you mean the end of time spent waiting for more candy corn flavored foods, you are correct. Candy corn forever!