Features Podcasts Family Video Comics Music Tech Science Books Film & TV Games ✚

Jill

A machine for washing breasts

Cory Doctorow at 7:05 am Fri, Sep 14, 2012

— FEATURED —

Science

Last chance to enter the Armchair Taxonomist challenge!

Book Review

We Can Fix it! - a graphic novel time travel memoir

Science

The technology that links taxonomy and Star Trek

Book Review

Odd Duck: great picture book about eccentricity and ducks

— FOLLOW US —

Boing Boing is on Twitter and Facebook. Subscribe to our RSS feed or daily email.

 

— POLICIES —

Except where indicated, Boing Boing is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution

 

— FONTS —

Tweet
Kindle

Circa 1930s. Origin unknown. Use unknown.

Breast washer, c.1930s

Update: Our commenters solve the mystery. This is a French "breast enhancement" water massage device, and the whole ad is here (and here are similar ads. (Thanks, Daneyul!)

You can find out more by reading Quack!: Tales of Medical Fraud from the Museum of Questionable Medical Devices, described by Orangedesperado: "Many items to consider with the original ads and copy. Don't forget the prostate warmer which worked with the heat of a light bulb and was helpful for stimulating the center of the 'male brain'."

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE:  boobies • Gadgets • huh? • Old school

More at Boing Boing

The technology that links taxonomy and Star Trek

Hackers prepare for first "national holiday" in their honor

  • Jennifer Mossholder

    sure it isn’t a breast pump?  many women started using formula (commercial and homemade).  maybe this was used to relieve engorgement?

    • http://twitter.com/nuciphaal Ashley Narayanen

      If that’s the case, why’s it connected to a faucet(tap)?

      • KBert

         Gentle vacuum by venturi?

        • http://twitter.com/nuciphaal Ashley Narayanen

          Doubtful from the shape/apparnet lack of outflow. Also seems like an improbable principle to apply, considering contemporary methods used are simpler. Then again, where does the water expelled from the supply go? Maybe it’s something else entirely.

          • IronEdithKidd

            Take a close look at the “fins”.  I think that’s the outlet.

            I don’t know what this thing is meant to do, but her other breast looks rather perky.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000816092324 Paul Cooke

            I take it you’ve never actually seen a water powered venturi suction pump then… the venturi device attaches to the tap and has a separate suction hose going off from it. Water flowing past the pipe orifice generates the suction as it pass through the pump on it’s way to the sink…

    • Nonentity

      It looks like the tube from the thing is connecting directly to the faucet, though that could be unfortunate cropping.  Either way, she looks *way* too happy to be using it.

      It’s really odd how the picture looks like a blend of photography and cartoonish drawing.

      • http://www.nathanhornby.com/ Nathan Hornby

        Happy?  Looks like she’s fighting a grimace to me.

        • ZikZak

          You probably would too if you had a nursing tentacled robot.

        • Antinous / Moderator

          I’d grimace too if somebody made me wear Norma Shearer’s hair.

          • http://twitter.com/johnclavis John Clavis

             She’s got a “Bride of Frankenstein” thing going on… still, am I the only one with a boner?

  • TheKaz1969

    This is what lead to the demise of the skilled tradesmen whom women used to visit to get their breasts hand-washed…

    • http://theladyfingers.blogspot.com/ Ladyfingers

       I just figured out my new “Artisanal” career.

    • Just_Ok

      Didn’t most women just pound them on the rocks down by the river?

    • Preston Sturges

      No wonder the Luddites were so angry

    • Preston Sturges

      Some of the traditional breast washing family businesses have transitioned to scrubbing crude oil off otters and sea birds.

      • TheKaz1969

        Blue Footed Boobies, perhaps?

  • jandrese

    With only one connection to a faucet and no other apparent outlet, that lady is about to get a very wet (sheer!) dress. 

    I can’t imagine anybody who thought this was a good idea.  Breasts aren’t hard to clean by hand, and that heavy looking and awkward contraption can’t be much easier.  Even the lady in the ad seems to have a forced smile and a look of “what the heck is this, are you some kind of freak?” 

    • http://twitter.com/nuciphaal Ashley Narayanen

      That’s it! It’s a wet t-shirt device!

  • lknope

    That woman is determined to not touch or even look at her breasts while cleaning them.  But they will be cleaned!  Because obviously breasts can get very dirty.

    • Bobby Martin

      Dirty, dirty breasts.

      • millie fink

        Dirty, dirty pillows.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNdIi4KpXhQ 

    • Brainspore

      Heck, my mind gets dirty just thinking about them.

  • Manny

    Breast enlarger?

    • Manny

      http://www.shopinprivate.com/pump-breast-enlarger.html

  • http://twitter.com/frederikvdz Frederik

    Better question: why does she have a mechannical claw as a hand?

    • Quiche de Resistance

      Cyborg.

      Gentlemen, we can rebuild her. We have the technology.

  • otterhead

    I’m wondering if this isn’t some sort of ‘enhancer’ — swirling cold water over the breast to make it ‘perky’?

  • http://www.disoriented.net/ angusm

    Yet another machine taking essential work away from humans. I begin to think that the Luddites may have had a point.

  • Molechaser

    “Oh, I know what you mean, Sally, breasts can be a real dirt trap.”  -Geoff

    • DreamboatSkanky

      It’s the tricky undersides.

  • SamSam

    Is there any evidence that this is a legitimate ad? There’s nothing at the link at all besides this image. No source or anything.

    Has anyone seen comparable images from the 30s, showing sheer dresses with visible breasts and pokey nipples like that? And the metallic cup was unquestionably not photographed with that woman — though it’s perfectly possible that it was a literal “cut and paste” job in the original ad, if the ad is genuine.

    • SamSam

      Ah, deneyul below has posted the entire ad.

      I am still pretty sure that the photograph was cut-and-pasted (with 1930s scissors, not Photoshop), but at least it was a real ad. Also: French. That’s why I didn’t believe the ad could be real, I was thinking American…

    • http://twitter.com/ErnestValdemar Ernest Valdemar

      “Has anyone seen comparable images from the 30s, showing sheer dresses with visible breasts and pokey nipples like that?”

      Yes, I have. So has anyone who’s ever seen a pre-Code Busby Berkeley musical, or the early films of Myrna Loy and Barbara Stanwyck. And if that’s too obscure, have you never seen King Kong? Titties all over the place. Perky breasts were a Hollywood fashion accessory before the Hayes Office took over.

  • daneyul

    Here’s the actual ad–not in English though…anyone care to translate?

    http://picasaweb.google.com/110276731942274724018/SoinsDuBuste#5544234548812378466

    Also, here’s a page with this, and a lot of other similar ads centered around breasts. 

    http://picasaweb.google.com/110276731942274724018/SoinsDuBuste

    • http://celesteagnes.blogspot.com/ Sekino

      The ad in French says it is for massaging the breasts with water to make them more firm and reduce sagging. So it is not a breast ‘washer’ but a breast enhancement device.

    • http://www.gyrofrog.com/ Gyrofrog

       It says “massage par l’eau.” Apparently not a hygiene device.  But still, as others have said, this contraption put others out of honest work (e.g. massage par l’homme and massage par l’femme) and pushed better methods to the curb (massage à l’huile, massage au beurre).(S’il vous plaît noter que je ne suis pas francophone)

    • http://www.disoriented.net/ angusm

      A WOMAN’S PRIDE

      [photo]

      CARE FOR YOUR BREASTS
      IT’S INDISPENSABLE

      Breasts, if they are not cared for, sag rapidly, particularly after breastfeeding, or are invaded by fat.

      A few minutes per day are enough with 
      THE MASSOSEIN
      which carries out a massage by water, in a closed vessel, extremely effective, giving marvelous results in only a few weeks, for

      FIRMING sagging breasts, by its regenerative action on the suspensor muscles
      BEAUTIFYING inadequate busts, which it develops
      AVOIDING exaggerated development among full-bodied women by helping to eliminate fat

      NOTHING IS SIMPLER TO DO AT HOME
      with the Massosein, which adapts instantly to every faucet and which every woman should have in her home. No splashing or chilling to fear, the body is not soaked.

      HERE IS THE OPINION OF A GREAT DOCTOR
      “Massage with cold water under pressure, as performed by the Massosein, guarantees the mammary fibers the maximum [illegible]” – Doctor J.A., Gynecologist

      (the rest of the text is too small to read easily, but explains how subscribers to the Paris Magazine can get a brochure describing the Massosein and its marvelous results). 

      • Glen Able

        Good work!  I’d like to propose that the product’s name “Le Massosein” be translated as “The Breastercizer”.

        • mappo

           Titty twister.

  • http://twitter.com/ZeeExOh Alexford

    My mom had one of those I used to put it on my head to wash my hair.
    Oh God Why…

  • http://twitter.com/SunShine_K SunShine_K

    Nobody likes mucky tits.

  • salsaman

    Alternate caption:
    “Enlarge your bosom– safely, temporarily, discretely– with ordinary tap water!”

  • http://twitter.com/chriscoreline chris coreline

    whiskey tango foxtrot.

  • jonw

    It’s a photoshop. I can see the pixels.

  • Preston Sturges

    In America, there was the “Mark Eden” exercise device bust enhancer, which seems to have been reborn as Suzanne Somer’s ThighMaster.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Eden_bust_developer

    “…………The Mark Eden bust developer was one of several body and exercise products marketed by Feather, who also sold various other slimming and body modification products such as “Slim-Jeans”, an “Astro-Trimmer”, a “Sauna Belt”, and in the 1980s, the Cambridge Diet. Finally, in 1981, Feather was indicted on 11 counts of mail fraud, and the Mark Eden bust developer disappeared from the market. Feather was made to pay a $1.1 million fine.

  • NoOneSpecific

    Obligatory “You don’t need a machine for that. I’d do it for free!” comment.

    You are welcome!

    • Quiche de Resistance

      Thus illustrating why women might want a machine to do it.

      (not to scold you, I thought it was funny)

      • NoOneSpecific

        Was never meant to be taken seriously. Scold and/or laugh as needed.

        =)

  • Brainspore

    Don’t believe the hype. I bought a testicle polisher from the same company but it never made them sparkle like the ones in the promotional photos.

    • Preston Sturges

      Family jewels?

    • voiceinthedistance

      You must have bought a knock off, then.  My Scrot-A-Buff makes the boys glisten like there’s no tomorrow.

      • Quiche de Resistance

        I tried to save some money and bought a Shiny Sack from QVC.  Big mistake.  Pain, no gain.

        • voiceinthedistance

          Well, at least you didn’t pay a premium for a celebrity endorsement, like this one.

      • Antinous / Moderator

        Mine drinks too much and never puts gas in the car.

  • orangedesperado

    You will find this device and many more in the book “Quack ! Tales of Medical Fraud from the Museum of Questionable Medical Devices “:

    http://www.amazon.com/Quack-Medical-Museum-Questionable-Devices/dp/1891661108/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1347641917&sr=1-1&keywords=quack+museum+of+questionable+medical+devices

    Many items to consider with the original ads and copy. Don’t forget  the prostate warmer which worked with the heat of a light bulb and was helpful for stimulating the center of the “male brain”. 

    People: they always have these ideas…

  • Navin_Johnson

     Looks like she’s using the “Tune In Tokyo” setting.

  • blueelm

    we must we must we must improve our bust!

    Now if that thing shoots *warm* water…

  • Halloween_Jack

    That’s right at the intersection of scary and kinky-sexy; I thought of an SF illustration of a breast pump from a story in which the human race almost goes extinct in the future until scientists figure out that babies can’t take their nutrition in pill form like everyone else.