Newsweek is America’s #1 magazine for trolls

Uproxx has a gallery of 15 melodramatic Newsweek covers.

As we told you earlier, if you read Newsweek — and Allah help you if you do — then you already know that we, as Simple Americans, should prepare to FEEL THE RAGE OF ANGRY MUSLIMS WHO ARE ANGRY AT ALL TIMES. Because, obviously, every Muslim ever is hella pissed right now, as Gawker so helpfully pointed out.

Point is: Newsweek is America’s #1 magazine for trolls … here’s some of their finest work through years.


Here Are 15 Hilariously Alarmist Newsweek Covers


  1. Yeah, MPR gave me a fee subscription with my membership, wouldn’t allow me to refuse.  I never opened one in an entire year.

    1. It’s true: you can’t have a real shawarma without mango-avocado salsa. Some places try to take a shortcut, but as you’ve found out, they rarely get it right.

    2. I liked this one by ALI DZA ‏@DZA13
      Having to balance my checkbook in Roman numerals because Arabic numerals are illegal in parts of Arizona, #MuslimRage

  2. I worked at Newsweek during the “Is your baby racist” cover. Believe it or not, that’s the last second replacement. The original had a baby in a KKK outfit, which fortunately was pulled for being just a plain bad idea.

  3. Where does Wired fall on the troll mag rankings, with their occasional pronouncements that THE WEB IS DEAD, THE END OF SCIENCE and SCREW THE SPOTTED OWL, GO NUCLEAR?

  4. This is probably related:

    Basically, they know what sells, and that’s all that matters. Wired does it too, as Deldzoeb noted.

    But instead of trolling nerds, Newsweek, and most of the major TV channels, are in the even more lucrative business of trolling mothers, who are the most neurotic things on earth (though that’s a chicken and egg issue). LADIES, what’s killing your precious children this week?

    Also, here’s a much better link for the original that won’t make you go through a slide show:

        1. No trolling here, I’m just coming from different culture (hint: I took Greek letters for Cyrillics).
          Your hint actually helped, but just half-way: now I know that this thing is somehow related to college fraternity, right?

          1. No problem then — it just so happens that Phi Beta Kappa is an academic honor society of the top people in a university’s graduating class. So in another context, it would have been a classic tongue-in-cheek comment to pretend not to know what it is. Like I said, I just didn’t know if you were joking or not!

            There is no reason anyone outside the US should know what it is (and probably most people in the US don’t know what it is), and of course, the Cyrillic characters are the same as the Greek ones.

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