What are Jay-Z's 99 problems?


11 Responses to “What are Jay-Z's 99 problems?”

  1. The Hard Problem of Consciousness should be in there somewhere.

  2. Christopher says:

    I read #45 and thought, hey, we’ve all been there, right? Oh, wait, I meant #35. Really! 

  3. chris jimson says:

    It must be a real bitch to have 99 problems.

  4. luddle says:

    Does he not understand that you must make Bowser keep jumping up and landing on the bridge, smashing the blocks beneath him and eventually creating a hole that leads to his certain doom?  Still the best Mario game ever, and perhaps an instinctive wish on his part that the game should never be finished.

  5. show me says:

    I don’t see “bitch” in there anywhere. Huh.

    • Brainspore says:

      I half expected them to go for a surprise twist revealing that “a bitch” comprises no less than seven of Jay-Z’s problems.

  6. andyhavens says:

    Navel lint is not a problem. It’s a natural resource.

  7. endymion says:

    I doubt #54. World 8, with its rolling tank, super-fast airship, and malevolent sun, was really difficult, maybe the hardest thing we’d ever seen in Mario before. But the final boss of Super Mario Bros 3 was kind of easy. Just get out of the way when he slams down on you.

    This is what I call 90% nerd humor– it tries real hard, and gets it almost right… but just not quite. :)

    • Itsumishi says:

      I’ve clocked Mario 2, Mario 3, Super Mario World, Mario 64, Mario Galaxy, Mario Galaxy 2 and a fair few other Mario games over the years. However, ever since I was little every single bloody time I made it to the final Bowser in the original Super Mario Brothers my heart would beat like crazy and I’d just jump right into him. 

      Perhaps Kanye has a similar problem. 

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