Last December, Brandon Scott Gorrell compiled a notional list of Jay-Z's storied 99 problems. It seems pretty plausible to me:
52. Confusion regarding how frequent one should use Q-tips to remove earwax, due to information he read that stated, more or less, that Q-tips were damaging because earwax had specific, important functions to ear health and bodily orientation and that the removal of earwax simply stimulated the production of more earwax, rendering Q-tip usage asinine.
53. PayPal terms of service and customer service equally horrible and difficult to understand.
54. Still unable to defeat final boss on Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros. 3.
55. Quickly disintegrating upkeep of dental hygiene due to feelings of meaningless and apathy.
56. Navel lint.
57. Confusion regarding the moist towelettes vs. dry toilet paper debates via recently hearing moist towelettes were for some reason bad.
58. Trouble discerning which types of socks are in fashion.
A Speculative List Of Jay-Z’s 99 Problems
A Canadian goose declared it open season on cops, as this Clarksville, Tennessee detective found out. This cop-hating honker takes a gander at this cop, then puts him down. Just when the cop’s goose is cooked…
Nope. This Super Mario children’s birthday party cupcake arrangement did not turn out as planned.
“Quid pro quo – I tell you things, you tell me things.” Edited by Jon Tomlinson; Narration: Andy Geller; Executive Producer: Dustin McLean (CineFix)
If you want to work in tech, but don’t have any desire to code web apps to help businesses sell things to other business, you might want to consider a career in cybersecurity. Judging from the apparent complete infiltration of Russian hackers in American cyberspace, it seems fair to speculate that there’s a major shortage of […]
All moms are different. But all moms like getting flowers on Mother’s Day, and that’s a fact (not, however a fact we can document in any fashion.) Instead of getting chewed out for forgetting to call her on the second Sunday of May, you can take care of it ahead of time with Teleflora’s flower […]
Yeah, Bluetooth audio is pretty common these days, so why should you care about these earbuds? Look how happy that woman up above looks. She’s got FRESHeBUDS in. Boom. There’s your reason. She’s also at the beach and it appears to be a very nice day.But for the sake of promotion, wireless earbuds are fast becoming the […]