Last December, Brandon Scott Gorrell compiled a notional list of Jay-Z's storied 99 problems. It seems pretty plausible to me:
52. Confusion regarding how frequent one should use Q-tips to remove earwax, due to information he read that stated, more or less, that Q-tips were damaging because earwax had specific, important functions to ear health and bodily orientation and that the removal of earwax simply stimulated the production of more earwax, rendering Q-tip usage asinine.
53. PayPal terms of service and customer service equally horrible and difficult to understand.
54. Still unable to defeat final boss on Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros. 3.
55. Quickly disintegrating upkeep of dental hygiene due to feelings of meaningless and apathy.
56. Navel lint.
57. Confusion regarding the moist towelettes vs. dry toilet paper debates via recently hearing moist towelettes were for some reason bad.
58. Trouble discerning which types of socks are in fashion.
A Speculative List Of Jay-Z’s 99 Problems
On a brisk wintry day, this clever moose decided to use a car’s exhaust to get a faceful of warm air. The best part is the car owner who keeps scraping his windshield.
No escape from reality. (Corridor)
“And I’m proud to say that when we get there, it will be as the Alt-Warmth. Just think: under the old name, we couldn’t even get anybody elected dogcatcher.”
The Black Friday Mac Bundle 2.0 is one of the Boing Boing Store’s best-selling Mac bundles yet, and it’s about to come to an end. If you don’t get your copy now, here’s what you’ll be missing:This bundle comes packing 9 top-rated Mac apps in one package, at the hugely discounted price of just $23.99. […]
The Boing Boing Store’s Gift Guide is full of ideas for pretty much anyone in your life like hipster ice cub trays, Xbox controllers, Halo Boards, and even diamond necklaces. As always, all products in the Boing Boing Store come at great discounts, too. Shop by price bucket starting at under $20. Under $20:Bloxx Jumbo Ice Trays […]
Unlike traditional lighters, the SaberLight features an electronic plasma beam that’s both rechargeable and butane-free. This sleek lighter is even approved by TSA, so you’ll never be stuck buying lighters you’ll just have to throw away partially used. For some people, like me, this is a pretty big game-changer. The SaberLight’s beam is actually both hotter and cleaner […]