Pattern for crocheted Panzer tank slippers

Etsy seller Miligurumis offers a crocheting pattern for making your own Panzer tank slippers, a peaceful project to wile away the long nights on the Eastern front.

(via Neatorama)


    Sept. 18, 1943 545 der Uhr. Schwerepanzer Abteilung 502 crossed into enemy territory during the initial phase of Operation Boden. The unseasonably cool weather played havoc with the bare-foot infantry, delaying their advance onto the tiled sector. Abt. 502 continued the advance, encountering and crushing light enemy resistance (mostly ‘dustbunny’ types) and crossing mires that would have otherwise bogged infantry. With the caffeine supply dump secured for Oberkommand, Leutnants Linke and Recht led their respective vehicles to high ground and held until relieved.

    1.  And then they rounded up all the Jews in the village and lined up the men in front of a deep pit….Nazi jokes are not funny and these slippers aren’t cute.

      1.  That is in really poor taste, I didn’t notice any swastikas in the pattern, did you? I suppose you think people who play the Germans in war games are the scum of the Earth too.

        1.  The German army didn’t put swastikas on their tanks they used the German Cross which adorns these “cute” slippers. Learn your history. As to people who play Germans (German soldiers I assume you mean) in war games–now that you mention it, I question the motivation behind all war re-enactors. Somehow I doubt most people who actually survived real wars would want to relive the horrors they experienced. There are plenty of wars going on around us right now. Why not enlist in an army and fight in the real thing instead of playing dress-up for a weekend with your buds?

          1.  So…dressing up and playing war is fun, while real wars aren’t (grammar alert: ” isn’t” is the wrong tense)? Don’t be dumb? I only hope you’re being sarcastic because if you’re not, the poor people of al societies are the ones who are sent off as cannon fodder to die for whatever reason the rulers deem necessary to their agendas. You dishonor their sad sacrifices with your funny slippers.

          2. Wrong. “isn’t” is correct there. I didn’t say “real wars isn’t fun”, I said FIGHTING real wars isn’t fun. Perhaps it wasn’t the best phrasing, but try to understand what I’m saying before trying to pick apart my grammar. Or I could just do the same thing. “al societies”? The correct spelling is “all”! LOLOLOL

            Anyways. War is not the same as playing. Do not try and conflate them. They just aren’t the same thing. The only thing that dishonors our poor soldiers is sending them off to die in meaningless, indefinite conflicts. Those politicians are the ones you ought to be offended by, not hobbyists whose only crime is an interest in history and silly slippers.

            Also there doesn’t seem to be any way to reply to your post, so that’s lame.

      2. Did you get the multilingual joke? 

        Nazi jokes really aren’t funny. 
        To Nazis. 
        One of the reasons we make them. 
        People were murdered for telling Nazi jokes but we still make them.   

        Although nobody here mentioned any Nazis before you did, and you weren’t funny. 
        Because jokes about the victims of Nazis really are not so funny. 

        German ≠ Nazi.  Not even then. 
        Hitler got elected with 28 percent [ not true, I have found out ] of the German vote, before he usurped dictatorial powers. 
        These slippers are panzergrau which makes them Heer, not SS. 

        They would be cute if they were firetrucks. 
        And they’re just as cute being, and making fun of, the most feared tanks of World War two.
        Only funnier.

        1.  I wasn’t joking and excuse me for making the crazy connection between the Nazis and the German army, since the army was taking orders from the Party. I didn’t say “German people”.
          But you’re right. The humor intended in these slippers IS lost on me. If they were crocheted to look like “cute”  U.S. drones they would be just as offensive.

          1.  They are a pair of slippers. They are cute. I guess that point is most certainly a subjective one. However, people who go and get all messed up and emo over something that there is a good chance is nothing more than history to them … need to wake the fuck up.
            These slippers are clever and amusing. The little story that ignited this most retarded and self righteous crap was also cute and amusing. Some ppl need to get a clue and realise that not is an attack on you.
            Ok and happy conquests in those so awesome slippers.

        2. Which is worse?  Saying these slippers are nazi slippers?  Or, minimizing naziism in Germany?

          I’m going back to my “safe” T-34 slippers.

          By the way, Hitler got elected with 43.91% of the popular vote in 1933.

          1.  Falsifying history is worse. 
            It’s not even the first time I have stated that incorrect 28% nonsense.  I have held it to be a fact for years and now don’t even remember how I got to think that. 
            Sorry and thanks. 

          2. The Red Army was taking orders from Stalin, who was responsible for many more non-military deaths than Hitler and the Nazi Party, so I don’t see how T-34 slippers would be any safer. I’ll continue to enjoy my Merkava foot-warmers though.

  2. After you put these on, an hour later you’ll want to take over the world (an old joke), but seriously folks, a Panzer tank? How cute would a crocheted Nazi helmet be come cooler temps? Or, since fake ‘staches are hip, a little knitted number a la Adolph? Get a clue!

    1. Really? Are you taken these seriously? Now I don’t know the intention behind these slippers, but did you ever think it was the easiest tank model to recreate as crocheted slippers and still have a clue what it is? A T-44 doesn’t work as slippers, the main gun is too long. A Sherman doesn’t really work here either, too triangular. A Landraider? Games-Workshop is having none of that!

      Additionally, you make it sound like the Third Reich is only group to Kill lots of people for odd reasons (in this case, scape goats in relations to the Jewish extermination). It’s not they’re selling a Knitler patteren.

      1.  I only commented on the group who used the tanks the slippers look in the name of staying on topic. Cuddly U.S. weaponry would get the same reaction from me.

      1.  I hit “like” by mistake. Sorry. In reply: IMHO the humor is on a third grade level which is fine when you’re in the third grade.

  3. These are great. Though I was walking through the house with them and ran into my dad who was wearing a pair of Shermans. We just glared at each other.

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