Mark Frauenfelder at 1:42 pm Wed, Sep 19, 2012
ADVERTISE AT BOING BOING!
[Video Link] (Via Uproxx)
Waiting to hear the new Bob Dyan ditty, “Oh the Wal-Mart is a’Changing”…
Or Woody Guthrie’s This Land Is Walmart’s Land.
what the fuck
Here are some of the lyrics … thanks to youtube auto-transcribe:
he’s in college, skinny people
lots of eighties umbrella
so you’ll be strong
fixing this week
we have an easy p
I assume this was a corporate gig for a lot of Walmart employees.
I assume this is what they’ll be playing in Hell.
Actually, Satan has been spinning Dominique over and over again since 1963.
OH MY GOD!
There is killing your career and then there is taking 3:05 to painfully strangle it for the whole world to see!
She’s making kid’s CDs, quite a variation from her roots :( Oh how the mighty have fallen *sigh* Another high-school era hero bites the dust
Jewel is dead to me.
Uhm…. is this a protest song against Walmart or not?
That’s what what I was wondering. It’s so close but not quite there. maybe the tone will become more clear on the album version.
They got workers who don’t get paid when they’re “off the clock”
They keep ‘em line with a Taser shock
And those clothes that say Made in America?
Made by kids in prison in Chin-uh-huh!
Beautiful. A true anthem for the age. Is it really selling out when it’s at these great everyday low prices?
Musician-integrity-related irony moved to a new level when:
In the 1980s, the Quaker Oats Company used a version of “What Have They Done To My Song Ma” in their commercials for Instant Oatmeal with the revised lyrics “Look what they’ve done to my oatmeal”.
With a whole new taste appeal! Look what they’ve done to oatmeal!
NNaarrhgghhg this is the only version I can remember now!!
It’s true – reruns all become our history!
Let’s be honest. The worst thing here is that she says she made a children’s album. This song sounds EXACTLY like every other crappy “kids” CD. The world just doesn’t need more of this crap. Do we really hate our kids that much?
And so, my happiest day of the week two weeks ago was when my five year old wanted to sit in the car until Bohemian Rhapsody ended. Go to hell Jewel. We don’t need your kind around here.
Try They Might Be Giants for non-crappy “kids” CDs.
“Here Comes Science” is a good start, and was featured on BoingBoing a while ago.
Meh. I just stopped with the “kids” music and let him listen to as wide a variety of “human” music as I can.
That’s not a reason not to get the They Might Be Giants album…
Yep, when I was a kid, I was pretty sure Beatles music was for kids, and it worked perfectly. Some of it didn’t make a lot of sense, but kids are used to that.
Can’t wait for her paen to Halliburton!
This was really depressing.
She should do a whole record of corporate anthems. And then just tour boardrooms and shareholder meetings.
Well, it isn’t like her music career was going anywhere
They didn’t even pay her scale.
She’s just doing it for the beer and hugs.
There’s no ‘i’ in Teamocil, at least not where you think.
Ha! I was just looking up how to spell Teamocil when I noticed you beat me to it.
That didn’t go as I was expecting. I figured it would turn into a WalMart bashing song.
But considering her intro was recorded in front of a WalMart sign, that didn’t give me confidence
Are you lonesome tonight, is your kitchen a sight…
Wow, didn’t see that coming.
Newsflash…. Jewel sing promo for Walmart. This will be on every news show all week, ugh.
This is a promo for Jewel’s new line of douching products and accessories. Available only at your local Maomart.
I find it strange that she chose to rhyme ‘cart’ with ‘more’ rather than with ‘Mart’. I also expected this to be worse than it is. Odd and a little discomforting but not horrible.
Obviously the song is just awful. Corporate shilling at its worst.
But I’m particularly offended by how flat and tinny her guitar sounds. Such a huge event in honor of such a monolithic company (featuring Jewel even!!) and they can’t hire a sound guy?
They did hire a sound guy, but he was accidentally locked in one of the stores until he finished cleaning the floors.
Funny that she actually shares the name of a Chicagoland supermarket chain…
I heard that Eskimos have 100 words for “sell-out.”
Is she being criticized because she’s a popular female musician?
Yes, that must be it.
Wait, Jewel is popular?
You know, if she’s actually broke and needs the money, good on her for getting out there and doing what she needs to do. If not, fuck her. Writing a children’s song honoring an evil corporation? Shame on you, Jewel.
It’s because she’s ALASKAN.
I am re-uploading all the Jewel songs i downloaded. I don’t want them in my networks anymore.
Is she looking for brass and string accompaniment? I’ll do it for free, just to pound that last nail in the coffin.
I can’t wait to see her Bain, Monsanto, and Blackwater ditties, plus maybe the “Lament for Enron.”
Man….. It’s so hard to criticize this… Sure… i hate the concept of Walmart. But damn … so .. so .. cute… Grr Jewel … WHY?
sellout definitionn. the event of selling all of something. (Advertising.) : Come to ourgigantic sellout of all name-brand merchandise!
n. a betrayal. (See also sell (so) out.) : Any one of you could havestood up for me. What a sellout!
Here she is performing for Walmart Soundcheck: http://soundcheck.walmart.com/jewel
Shit + crap = …
I will always love Jewel, no matter what she does, for the simple reason that she did this:
I love absolutely everything about that video.
Shouldn’t she have worn an even bigger fatsuit to do the Walmart thing?
sure , wallmart has low prices and lots of stuff ; But they’re evil !! about TWICE as evil as other merchandisers !! off the bell curve on inappropriate pay scale and promotions !! EVIL !!
I haven’t been this offended since the Foo Fighters sold out to a similar corporation.
That’s sarcasm, by the way. Here is the actual song she modified for a corporate event: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaFLigL6M8o
Gotta pay the bill$.
There’s selling-out and then there’s selling your soul.
here’s a real song about walmart by matt the electrician
Another day, another dollar, another war,
Another Wal-mart went up, where the homeless had their homes…
Who will save YOUR soul?
Wow I thought her career was dead before….
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