Jewel + Walmart = song about Walmart

[Video Link] (Via Uproxx)



  1. Here are some of the lyrics … thanks to youtube auto-transcribe:

    he’s in college, skinny people
    misstep disappear
    lots of eighties umbrella
    so you’ll be strong

    fixing this week
    we have an easy p

  2. I assume this was a corporate gig for a lot of Walmart employees.

    I assume this is what they’ll be playing in Hell.

  3. OH MY GOD!
    There is killing your career and then there is taking 3:05 to painfully strangle it for the whole world to see!

    1.  She’s making kid’s CDs, quite a variation from her roots :( Oh how the mighty have fallen *sigh* Another high-school era hero bites the dust

  4. They got workers who don’t get paid when they’re “off the clock”
    They keep ’em line with a Taser shock
    And those clothes that say Made in America?
    Made by kids in prison in Chin-uh-huh!

  5. Beautiful. A true anthem for the age. Is it really selling out when it’s at these great everyday low prices?

    1. Musician-integrity-related irony moved to a new level when:

      In the 1980s, the Quaker Oats Company used a version of “What Have They Done To My Song Ma” in their commercials for Instant Oatmeal with the revised lyrics “Look what they’ve done to my oatmeal”.

      1. With a whole new taste appeal! Look what they’ve done to oatmeal!

        NNaarrhgghhg this is the only version I can remember now!!

        It’s true – reruns all become our history!

  6. Let’s be honest. The worst thing here is that she says she made a children’s album. This song sounds EXACTLY like every other crappy “kids” CD. The world just doesn’t need more of this crap. Do we really hate our kids that much?

    And so, my happiest day of the week two weeks ago was when my five year old wanted to sit in the car until Bohemian Rhapsody ended. Go to hell Jewel. We don’t need your kind around here.

      1. Meh. I just stopped with the “kids” music and let him listen to as wide a variety of “human” music as I can.

      2. Yep, when I was a kid, I was pretty sure Beatles music was for kids, and it worked perfectly. Some of it didn’t make a lot of sense, but kids are used to that.

  7. She should do a whole record of corporate anthems. And then just tour boardrooms and shareholder meetings.

    1.  I hoped…

      But considering her intro was recorded in front of a WalMart sign, that didn’t give me confidence

  8. This is a promo for Jewel’s new line of douching products and accessories. Available only at your local Maomart.

  9. I find it strange that she chose to rhyme ‘cart’ with ‘more’ rather than with ‘Mart’. I also expected this to be worse than it is. Odd and a little discomforting but not horrible.

  10. Obviously the song is just awful.  Corporate shilling at its worst.
    But I’m particularly offended by how flat and tinny her guitar sounds.  Such a huge event in honor of such a monolithic company (featuring Jewel even!!) and they can’t hire a sound guy?

    1. They did hire a sound guy, but he was accidentally locked in one of the stores until he finished cleaning the floors.

  11. You know, if she’s actually broke and needs the money, good on her for getting out there and doing what she needs to do. If not, fuck her. Writing a children’s song honoring an evil corporation? Shame on you, Jewel.

  12. Is she looking for brass and string accompaniment?  I’ll do it for free, just to pound that last nail in the coffin.

  13. sellout definitionn. the event of selling all of something. (Advertising.) :  Come to ourgigantic sellout of all name-brand merchandise!
    n. a betrayal. (See also sell (so) out.) :  Any one of you could havestood up for me. What a sellout! 

    see Jewel

  14. sure , wallmart has low prices and lots of stuff ; But they’re evil !! about TWICE as evil as other merchandisers !! off the bell curve on inappropriate pay scale and promotions !! EVIL !! 

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