Jewel + Walmart = song about Walmart

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Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.

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richard c

Waiting to hear the new Bob Dyan ditty, “Oh the Wal-Mart is a’Changing”…
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Or Woody Guthrie’s This Land Is Walmart’s Land.
http://www.upso.org upso

what the fuck
http://twitter.com/nagmay Gabriel Nagmay

Here are some of the lyrics … thanks to youtube auto-transcribe:
…
he’s in college, skinny people
misstep disappear
lots of eighties umbrella
so you’ll be strong
…
fixing this week
hot-button
we have an easy p
andyhavens

I assume this was a corporate gig for a lot of Walmart employees.

I assume this is what they’ll be playing in Hell.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Actually, Satan has been spinning Dominique over and over again since 1963.
enlightenme

OH MY GOD!
There is killing your career and then there is taking 3:05 to painfully strangle it for the whole world to see!
- ocker3
  
  She’s making kid’s CDs, quite a variation from her roots :( Oh how the mighty have fallen *sigh* Another high-school era hero bites the dust
http://twitter.com/paulrpotts Paul R. Potts

Jewel is dead to me.
inkfumes

Uhm…. is this a protest song against Walmart or not?
- http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OAUXAA362EXWLYVMPJOKLFB5JQ Incipient Madness
  
  That’s what what I was wondering. It’s so close but not quite there. maybe the tone will become more clear on the album version.
Steve Rhodes

They got workers who don’t get paid when they’re “off the clock”
They keep ‘em line with a Taser shock
And those clothes that say Made in America?
Made by kids in prison in Chin-uh-huh!
omnivore

Beautiful. A true anthem for the age. Is it really selling out when it’s at these great everyday low prices?
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Musician-integrity-related irony moved to a new level when:
  
  In the 1980s, the Quaker Oats Company used a version of “What Have They Done To My Song Ma” in their commercials for Instant Oatmeal with the revised lyrics “Look what they’ve done to my oatmeal”.
  - benher
    
    With a whole new taste appeal! Look what they’ve done to oatmeal!
    
    NNaarrhgghhg this is the only version I can remember now!!
    
    It’s true – reruns all become our history!
ChicagoD

Let’s be honest. The worst thing here is that she says she made a children’s album. This song sounds EXACTLY like every other crappy “kids” CD. The world just doesn’t need more of this crap. Do we really hate our kids that much?

And so, my happiest day of the week two weeks ago was when my five year old wanted to sit in the car until Bohemian Rhapsody ended. Go to hell Jewel. We don’t need your kind around here.
- jimkirk
  
  Try They Might Be Giants for non-crappy “kids” CDs.
  “Here Comes Science” is a good start, and was featured on BoingBoing a while ago.
  http://www.theymightbegiants.com/
  - ChicagoD
    
    Meh. I just stopped with the “kids” music and let him listen to as wide a variety of “human” music as I can.
    - wysinwyg
      
      That’s not a reason not to get the They Might Be Giants album…
  - Joel Bass
    
    Yep, when I was a kid, I was pretty sure Beatles music was for kids, and it worked perfectly. Some of it didn’t make a lot of sense, but kids are used to that.
Judas Peckerwood

Can’t wait for her paen to Halliburton!
splashu

This was really depressing.
Steve Rhodes

She should do a whole record of corporate anthems. And then just tour boardrooms and shareholder meetings.
lafave

Well, it isn’t like her music career was going anywhere
Steve Rhodes

They didn’t even pay her scale.
- http://twitter.com/petitepoubelle petite poubelle
  
  She’s just doing it for the beer and hugs.
http://twitter.com/openwatch OpenWatch

There’s no ‘i’ in Teamocil, at least not where you think.
- Felton / Moderator
  
  Ha! I was just looking up how to spell Teamocil when I noticed you beat me to it.
http://www.facebook.com/PalmBayChuck Charles Waters

That didn’t go as I was expecting. I figured it would turn into a WalMart bashing song.
- ocker3
  
  I hoped…
  
  But considering her intro was recorded in front of a WalMart sign, that didn’t give me confidence
Felton / Moderator

Are you lonesome tonight, is your kitchen a sight…
- ocker3
  
  GOLD!
mcheshire

Wow, didn’t see that coming.
http://johnstonsigns.blogspot.com/ dejoh

Newsflash…. Jewel sing promo for Walmart. This will be on every news show all week, ugh.
gtrjnky

This is a promo for Jewel’s new line of douching products and accessories. Available only at your local Maomart.
http://profile.yahoo.com/KQDVMG2M7NMHQB43DBYEUIFAXY aaron_and1

I find it strange that she chose to rhyme ‘cart’ with ‘more’ rather than with ‘Mart’. I also expected this to be worse than it is. Odd and a little discomforting but not horrible.
litabandita

Obviously the song is just awful. Corporate shilling at its worst.
But I’m particularly offended by how flat and tinny her guitar sounds. Such a huge event in honor of such a monolithic company (featuring Jewel even!!) and they can’t hire a sound guy?
- ChicagoD
  
  They did hire a sound guy, but he was accidentally locked in one of the stores until he finished cleaning the floors.
Navin_Johnson

Funny that she actually shares the name of a Chicagoland supermarket chain…
Michael Frechen

I heard that Eskimos have 100 words for “sell-out.”
http://twitter.com/yytnim mintyy

Is she being criticized because she’s a popular female musician?
- Geo X
  
  Yes, that must be it.
- wysinwyg
  
  Wait, Jewel is popular?
http://twitter.com/annstarrr Ann

You know, if she’s actually broke and needs the money, good on her for getting out there and doing what she needs to do. If not, fuck her. Writing a children’s song honoring an evil corporation? Shame on you, Jewel.
http://twitter.com/annstarrr Ann

It’s because she’s ALASKAN.
jennix

I am re-uploading all the Jewel songs i downloaded. I don’t want them in my networks anymore.
Chandler Lewis

Is she looking for brass and string accompaniment? I’ll do it for free, just to pound that last nail in the coffin.
Bodhipaksa

I can’t wait to see her Bain, Monsanto, and Blackwater ditties, plus maybe the “Lament for Enron.”
http://twitter.com/andrewwick Moving Backward

Man….. It’s so hard to criticize this… Sure… i hate the concept of Walmart. But damn … so .. so .. cute… Grr Jewel … WHY?
http://www.facebook.com/people/Andy-Murdock/783770273 Andy Murdock

sellout definitionn. the event of selling all of something. (Advertising.) : Come to ourgigantic sellout of all name-brand merchandise!
n. a betrayal. (See also sell (so) out.) : Any one of you could havestood up for me. What a sellout!

see Jewel
Steve Rhodes

Here she is performing for Walmart Soundcheck: http://soundcheck.walmart.com/jewel
sean nelson

Shit + crap = …
- ChicagoD
  
  poo?
wrybread

I will always love Jewel, no matter what she does, for the simple reason that she did this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmv1VhrtYRo

I love absolutely everything about that video.
- http://www.luketemplewalsh.com/ Luke Temple Walsh
  
  Shouldn’t she have worn an even bigger fatsuit to do the Walmart thing?
edthehippie

sure , wallmart has low prices and lots of stuff ; But they’re evil !! about TWICE as evil as other merchandisers !! off the bell curve on inappropriate pay scale and promotions !! EVIL !!
http://twitter.com/meanidea len

I haven’t been this offended since the Foo Fighters sold out to a similar corporation.

That’s sarcasm, by the way. Here is the actual song she modified for a corporate event: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaFLigL6M8o
Iain Bryden

Gotta pay the bill$.
leiris

There’s selling-out and then there’s selling your soul.
hypersomniac

here’s a real song about walmart by matt the electrician

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XagsXc0MqR4
http://www.facebook.com/LonoRising Jeff Ådler

Another day, another dollar, another war,

Another Wal-mart went up, where the homeless had their homes…

Who will save YOUR soul?
http://www.facebook.com/LonoRising Jeff Ådler

Ooops.
Patera

Wow I thought her career was dead before….