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Jewel + Walmart = song about Walmart

Mark Frauenfelder at 1:42 pm Wed, Sep 19, 2012

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Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.

MORE:  Jewel • walmart

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  • richard c

    Waiting to hear the new Bob Dyan ditty, “Oh the Wal-Mart is a’Changing”…

    • Antinous / Moderator

      Or Woody Guthrie’s This Land Is Walmart’s Land.

  • http://www.upso.org upso

    what the fuck

  • http://twitter.com/nagmay Gabriel Nagmay

    Here are some of the lyrics … thanks to youtube auto-transcribe:
    …
    he’s in college, skinny people
    misstep disappear
    lots of eighties umbrella
    so you’ll be strong
    …
    fixing this week
    hot-button
    we have an easy p

  • andyhavens

    I assume this was a corporate gig for a lot of Walmart employees.

    I assume this is what they’ll be playing in Hell.

    • Antinous / Moderator

      Actually, Satan has been spinning Dominique over and over again since 1963.

  • enlightenme

    OH MY GOD!
    There is killing your career and then there is taking 3:05 to painfully strangle it for the whole world to see!

    • ocker3

       She’s making kid’s CDs, quite a variation from her roots :( Oh how the mighty have fallen *sigh* Another high-school era hero bites the dust

  • http://twitter.com/paulrpotts Paul R. Potts

    Jewel is dead to me.

  • inkfumes

    Uhm…. is this a protest song against Walmart or not?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OAUXAA362EXWLYVMPJOKLFB5JQ Incipient Madness

       That’s what what I was wondering. It’s so close but not quite there. maybe the tone will become more clear on the album version.

  • Steve Rhodes

    They got workers who don’t get paid when they’re “off the clock”
    They keep ‘em line with a Taser shock
    And those clothes that say Made in America?
    Made by kids in prison in Chin-uh-huh!

  • omnivore

    Beautiful. A true anthem for the age. Is it really selling out when it’s at these great everyday low prices?

    • Antinous / Moderator

      Musician-integrity-related irony moved to a new level when:

      In the 1980s, the Quaker Oats Company used a version of “What Have They Done To My Song Ma” in their commercials for Instant Oatmeal with the revised lyrics “Look what they’ve done to my oatmeal”.

      • benher

        With a whole new taste appeal! Look what they’ve done to oatmeal!

        NNaarrhgghhg this is the only version I can remember now!!

        It’s true – reruns all become our history!

  • ChicagoD

    Let’s be honest. The worst thing here is that she says she made a children’s album. This song sounds EXACTLY like every other crappy “kids” CD. The world just doesn’t need more of this crap. Do we really hate our kids that much?

    And so, my happiest day of the week two weeks ago was when my five year old wanted to sit in the car until Bohemian Rhapsody ended. Go to hell Jewel. We don’t need your kind around here.

    • jimkirk

      Try They Might Be Giants for non-crappy “kids” CDs.
      “Here Comes Science” is a good start, and was featured on BoingBoing a while ago.
      http://www.theymightbegiants.com/

      • ChicagoD

        Meh. I just stopped with the “kids” music and let him listen to as wide a variety of “human” music as I can.

        • wysinwyg

           That’s not a reason not to get the They Might Be Giants album…

      • Joel Bass

        Yep, when I was a kid, I was pretty sure Beatles music was for kids, and it worked perfectly. Some of it didn’t make a lot of sense, but kids are used to that.

  • Judas Peckerwood

    Can’t wait for her paen to Halliburton!

  • splashu

    This was really depressing.

  • Steve Rhodes

    She should do a whole record of corporate anthems. And then just tour boardrooms and shareholder meetings.

  • lafave

    Well, it isn’t like her music career was going anywhere

  • Steve Rhodes

    They didn’t even pay her scale.

    • http://twitter.com/petitepoubelle petite poubelle

       She’s just doing it for the beer and hugs.

  • http://twitter.com/openwatch OpenWatch

    There’s no ‘i’ in Teamocil, at least not where you think.

    • Felton / Moderator

      Ha!  I was just looking up how to spell Teamocil when I noticed you beat me to it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/PalmBayChuck Charles Waters

    That didn’t go as I was expecting. I figured it would turn into a WalMart bashing song.

    • ocker3

       I hoped…

      But considering her intro was recorded in front of a WalMart sign, that didn’t give me confidence

  • Felton / Moderator

    Are you lonesome tonight, is your kitchen a sight…

    • ocker3

       GOLD!

  • mcheshire

    Wow, didn’t see that coming.

  • http://johnstonsigns.blogspot.com/ dejoh

    Newsflash…. Jewel sing promo for Walmart.  This will be on every news show all week, ugh.

  • gtrjnky

    This is a promo for Jewel’s new line of douching products and accessories. Available only at your local Maomart.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KQDVMG2M7NMHQB43DBYEUIFAXY aaron_and1

    I find it strange that she chose to rhyme ‘cart’ with ‘more’ rather than with ‘Mart’. I also expected this to be worse than it is. Odd and a little discomforting but not horrible.

  • litabandita

    Obviously the song is just awful.  Corporate shilling at its worst.
    But I’m particularly offended by how flat and tinny her guitar sounds.  Such a huge event in honor of such a monolithic company (featuring Jewel even!!) and they can’t hire a sound guy?

    • ChicagoD

      They did hire a sound guy, but he was accidentally locked in one of the stores until he finished cleaning the floors.

  • Navin_Johnson

    Funny that she actually shares the name of a Chicagoland supermarket chain…

  • Michael Frechen

    I heard that Eskimos have 100 words for “sell-out.”

  • http://twitter.com/yytnim mintyy

    Is she being criticized because she’s a popular female musician? 

    • Geo X

      Yes, that must be it.

    • wysinwyg

       Wait, Jewel is popular?

  • http://twitter.com/annstarrr Ann

    You know, if she’s actually broke and needs the money, good on her for getting out there and doing what she needs to do. If not, fuck her. Writing a children’s song honoring an evil corporation? Shame on you, Jewel.

  • http://twitter.com/annstarrr Ann

    It’s because she’s ALASKAN. 

  • jennix

    I am re-uploading all the Jewel songs i downloaded. I don’t want them in my networks anymore.

  • Chandler Lewis

    Is she looking for brass and string accompaniment?  I’ll do it for free, just to pound that last nail in the coffin.

  • Bodhipaksa

    I can’t wait to see her Bain, Monsanto, and Blackwater ditties, plus maybe the “Lament for Enron.”

  • http://twitter.com/andrewwick Moving Backward

    Man….. It’s so hard to criticize this… Sure… i hate the concept of Walmart. But damn … so .. so .. cute…  Grr Jewel … WHY?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andy-Murdock/783770273 Andy Murdock

    sellout definitionn. the event of selling all of something. (Advertising.) :  Come to ourgigantic sellout of all name-brand merchandise!
    n. a betrayal. (See also sell (so) out.) :  Any one of you could havestood up for me. What a sellout! 

    see Jewel

  • Steve Rhodes

    Here she is performing for Walmart Soundcheck:  http://soundcheck.walmart.com/jewel

  • sean nelson

    Shit + crap = …

    • ChicagoD

      poo?

  • wrybread

    I will always love Jewel, no matter what she does, for the simple reason that she did this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmv1VhrtYRo 

    I love absolutely everything about that video.

    • http://www.luketemplewalsh.com/ Luke Temple Walsh

      Shouldn’t she have worn an even bigger fatsuit to do the Walmart thing?

  • edthehippie

    sure , wallmart has low prices and lots of stuff ; But they’re evil !! about TWICE as evil as other merchandisers !! off the bell curve on inappropriate pay scale and promotions !! EVIL !! 

  • http://twitter.com/meanidea len

    I haven’t been this offended since the Foo Fighters sold out to a similar corporation.

    That’s sarcasm, by the way. Here is the actual song she modified for a corporate event: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaFLigL6M8o

  • Iain Bryden

    Gotta pay the bill$.

  • leiris

    There’s selling-out and then there’s selling your soul.

  • hypersomniac

    here’s a real song about walmart by matt the electrician

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XagsXc0MqR4 

  • http://www.facebook.com/LonoRising Jeff Ådler

    Another day, another dollar, another war,

    Another Wal-mart went up, where the homeless had their homes…

    Who will save YOUR soul?

  • http://www.facebook.com/LonoRising Jeff Ådler

    Ooops.

  • Patera

    Wow I thought her career was dead before….