The Pax Vaporizer: 'fropheads rejoice!

[Video Link] Have you ever wondered what J.R. "Bob" Dobbs smokes in his pipe? It's the dried flower petals of the Habafropzipulops plant! (Street parlance: 'frop.) 'Frop is not a drug, and as little as 100 microdobbs is needed to achieve desired results.

From SubGenius pamphlet #2:

Like to smoke a little of what's in "BOB's" Pipe? Membership in the Church as an ordained SubGenius Minister makes you eligible to be on the waiting list for VAST SHIPMENTS of the LEGAL IMMORTALITY HERB, HABAFROPZIPULOPS (or "FROP" for short) -- the mind-inverting flower which grows only by moonlight on the graves and droppings of dead Tibetan holymen and fullblood Yetis. 'FROP is not only safer than your cheap Conspiracy street drugs -- it's PERMANENT, TOO. No more "coming down!" No matter how much 'Frop you ingest, YOU CAN NEVER AGAIN GET LESS HIGH. Interested?

And Everything2 describes 'frop thusly:

Habafropzipulops is not merely safe, but beneficial -- nay, even necessary -- to bodily health. We encourage our children to partake of it copiously, to their little heart's abundant desires.

As a legally ordained SubGenius Minister, I consider it my duty to enjoy Habafropzipulops around the clock. (I even set my alarm to awaken me in the middle of the night so I don't cheat myself out of a dose.)

But I have difficulty enjoying my sacrament in peace, because my apartment complex is filthy with pinks and glorps who have the loach's phone number on speed-dial so they can have me busted at the fist whiff of 'frop. (Even though the Supreme Court declared the use of sacramental 'frop to be well within the bounds of the religious freedoms provided by the Constitution, 'frop users are still harassed by hired thugs of the treasonous cage dwellers and assouls who inexplicably control the planet.)

But I have found a way to enjoy 'frop without alerting the sniffing simians next door. It's a bit of alien technology called the Ploom Pax. Although it was designed for tobacco (Ayn Rand's third favorite mind-altering drug of abuse) I found it to be ideal for vaporizing the 23 pharmacologically-active compounds found in 'frop. Sleek and free of greebling, the Pax looks like it might have been designed by Jonny Ives. An internal lithium battery heats the 'frop to a temperature high enough to release the active ingredients but not enough to cause the 'frop to combust. So there's no smoke and much less telltale odor.

To turn the device on, you merely pull out the retractable mouthpiece. An LED indicator light makes it easy for even the most spaced-out 'frophead to figure out the heating status and battery status of the unit. When the battery loses its charge, you simply drop the unit on the included charger.

Eventually the pink boys will catch on to the Pax and try it out with weed, but I have no idea if it works with Conspiracy street drugs. I'm sticking with 'frop.

Ploom Pax


  1. GLORY BE TO DOBBS AND HIS GIFT OF FROP! I’m not big on smoking, so I generally just extract the vital ester and inject it intravenously–in fact, I’m now using a modified insulin pump to maintain a constant level in my bloodstream.

  2. That is just odd. Not the Bob stuff, that’s perfectly sensible. I used my vapourizer to stop smoking tobacco, not to smoke more.

      1. Oh, I’ve never tried, either – I like my vapourizer too much to risk it!

        I can’t imagine it would – I don’t think the temperatures would be near high enough on most kit.

      2. 1) Yes
        2) Depends on the vape, but for ones that have little or no internal tubing between the frop container and the vapour outlet (like the volcano) it’s probably not going to affect your machine at all. The thing it will stank up is the bag or the tube (unless you’re using silicon surgical tube – which wont be affected)

        IRT the post:
        3) I would highly recommend a mains powered vape over battery for reliable heating. I have not *used* a battery powered one, but the general interwebs consensus is that mains is better.
        4) Post-vape frop has likely not been exhausted of its fropsicity and can be smoked or cooked into oily foods to get the most out of it.

  3. Eventually the pink boys will catch on the the Pax and try it out with weed, but I have no idea if it works with Conspiracy street drugs. I’m sticking with ‘frop.

    You sad, sad, beautiful bastard

  4. Thanks, Tyrone!  I’ve been enjoying me ‘frop through the magic flight launch box, but I find that there’s no good way to transport the unit through the fingers of the robot, as it were, without leaving the trail of pheremones which deactivates their second law governors just enough to keep them nippin’ at my heels.  

    I’ve often wished I could partake in the sacremental ‘frop during a day of avoiding heavy machinery, though these days that’s nearly impossible, I am at least successful in avoiding operation of said heavy machinery.

    Is there some way of saving the odor for later through some form fitted silicone skin that can fit over the Pax?

        1. Common sense. How is it so easy to rationalise that herb ≠ Herb. It’s the same spelling – why would it make any sense to pronounce them differently?

          Not sure what accents have to do with anything as people who speak British English across all accent types pronounce the ‘h’. Also which American and which British accents are you comparing? There is a fairly widespread range within those sets. Got a source for that?

          1. They are different words in spoken language in spite of how we write them the same way.

            As to the accent thing:


            There were many other stories on this. This is focusing on Elizabethian English (via Shakespeare) but would apply to the period. There have been shifts across the board but American speech is actually closer (well, some American speech) than modern proper high class British diction.

          2. But why are they different? Those who created the language don’t do it that way.

            Anyway, I would simply suggest not bringing up a subject which is clearly going to be a point of contention, or at least recognising that people do things differently and there’s no inherently “right” way to do anything.. just originals and adaptations.

            PS, thanks for the links :)

          3. Edit: This explains why she pronounces it the way she does:

            420|PAX Vaporizer Review – Unboxing – by Janet Fox
            Country Netherlands

          4.  This does too: 
            Herbs, pronounced /ˈɜrbs/ by some U.S. speakers, or /ˈhɜrbs/ by other U.S. speakers and all other English speakers. 

          5. If you’re going to pick on Americans for the herb/Herb thing, then you’ve got a bit of explaining on the basil/Basil thing to do.

          1. There’s actually an isolated island just off the East coast of the US (somewhere near the Carolinas, I believe) whose residents are thought to speak the living dialect that’s closest to Shakespearean English.

            The explanation I’ve heard for why American English is closer to the historical norm is that British English increasingly grew to mimic the accents of British aristocrats, a group which has historically spoken little, if any, English (see Richard the Lionheart and numerous other examples).

  5. I’m sold on the frop inhaler.  And that wasn’t even an ad. 
    She had nice, if nervous, hands. 

    “the loach’s”
    Restricted Page
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  6. A bit pricier than the Arizer Pro ($250 vs $150), but additional stealth may be worth it.   I also prefer the front panel temp controls of Arizer.  I liked MFLB, but charging and squeezing batts was annoying. 

  7. A bit sad to see BB turn over their Pax review to this silliness. The thing deserves its own glowing review; it’s like if Apple released a portable vaporizer. The Pax is extremely well designed, beautifully laid out and dead simple to use. It has killer battery life (1-3 full days, depending on how heavily you use it) and recharges in about an hour & a half on its dock.

    The Pax is self-contained, tiny and discrete. Best of all, it just works…well. The Pax truly is a game changer.

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