Orson Welles hates the advertising copy he's being asked to read

Here's a YouTube clip of Orson Welles' infamous frozen/canned food advertisement voice-over recording sessions in which he berates the engineer for the inanity of the material he's being asked to read. It's a rare chance to hear a serious tantrum executed with stentorian emphasis. There's a brilliant homage to this in a Pinky and the Brain cartoon that makes for a great coda.

Orson Welles - Frozen Peas (Thanks, isaak!)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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http://2012diaries.blogspot.com/ tristan eldritch

My favorite part has always been: “Now what is it you want…in your depths of your ignorance?”
Must put that at the end of the answer message on my phone.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  I’m pretty sure that, by the end, he was actually leaving outgoing messages on answering machines in return for a small cash consideration.
  - http://2012diaries.blogspot.com/ tristan eldritch
    
    Yeah, any copy you liked, as long as the cash was up front. The recording sessions mostly took place in car parks. It was all very Boogie Nights.
  - Mister44
    
    I know one of his last gigs was playing Omnicron in the Transformers Movie.
    - Ryan Carroll
      
      Unicron.
      - Mister44
        
        I get my ‘crons mixed up some times.
Sweet Zombie Jesus

Maurice LaMarche also did it in The Critic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i7ycxiog40
- http://jere7my.livejournal.com jere7my
  
  It’s a rare trip to the grocery store that doesn’t include me using the phrase “filled with green pea-ness.” (Also “most people call them green onions, but they’re really scallions,” but that’s a different thing.)
  - http://profiles.google.com/marc.k.mielke Marc Mielke
    
    “filled with green pea-ness.”?
    I’d ask your friend to get that looked at before he filled you up again.
  - cypher0101
    
    Hat Tip for the Stan Freberg riff, i.e., scallions/green onion.
http://twitter.com/a_w_young a_w_young

The “Drunk Orson Welles Outtakes” make me howl every time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6P1ifGjvEE
- wrybread
  
  That’s pretty funny, but it led me to the original, which had me howling even louder:
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFevH5vP32s&feature=related
http://twitter.com/EvilHayama EvilHayama

Maurice LaMarche must be obsessed with this bit, he does it again on the Nerdist Podcast (with fellow Brain Rob Paulson) http://www.nerdist.com/2012/03/nerdist-podcast-rob-paulsen-and-maurice-lamarche/
- http://twitter.com/TimmoWarner Timmo Warner
  
  He is able to do the full bit from memory at the drop of a hat.
- http://twitter.com/pilot Matthew Kramer
  
  If I recall correctly, it’s that same podcast where he explains that he was sort of known for that bit and he thought the Animaniacs people brought him in for that reason, that’s why Brain’s voice is essentially Orson Welles.
  - airshowfan
    
    That article about the history of the Animaniacs (mentioned on BoingBoing) was where I learned about this Orson Welles outtake, and how its impersonation landed LaMarche the job. More info here.
- Ryan Carroll
  
  when? its an hour long podcast.
  - leebenningfield
    
    Yeah? So listen to it. The entire hour is pretty good.
    
    Also recommended: the Nerdist episode with Billy West and John DiMaggio.
http://twitter.com/rvitelli Romeo Vitelli

I the great Orson Welles didn’t want to do the commercial, why did he agree to it (except for the fact that he needed the money)? It’s not as if the people he was abusing were to blame for his troubles.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Holmen/562023961 Robert Holmén
  
  Because he was no longer great.
- User 100
  
  Yeah, those scenes are pretty embarrassing.
  Don’t sign up to be a whore, and then clamp your legs together.
  It doesn’t work that way…
  - wrybread
    
    Maybe he was still brilliant enough to know that it all lent a little something to his mystique. Which, whether he knew it or not, was the case.
- Diogenes
  
  Apparently there were still lines he would not cross, or read, for money. Seems reasonable to me. The only power an employee has is in the words “I quit”.
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    The only power an employee has is in the words “I quit”.
    
    Pish.
    - Diogenes
      
      ??
      - pupdog
        
        I could set the building on fire…
L_Mariachi

That’s funny, the Negativland track that samples this (“Jolly Green Giant,” on Happy Heroes) came up on iTunes DJ just yesterday.
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000444450214 Genre Slur
  
  I can’t find the ep on itunes, so I will have to mine the cd ‘mountain’ in a corner of my bedroom in order to upload the dang thing.
ldobe

Orson pops up again in futurama, in the episode Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences. He’s portrayed as a pain to work with in that voiceover as well.

The script is a very rough paraphrasing, but still holds the original’s pompous nature.
- http://twitter.com/cjporkchop cjporkchop
  
  Fantastic episode. And Maurice LaMarche won his first Emmy for Outstanding Voice-Over Performance for that one.
cepson

Buried in the commentary tracks for the “Mr. Show” DVDs is also a parody of this–a pompous actor visits the crew and reads advertising copy from time to time, which he invariably finds contemptible and beneath his skills.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000444450214 Genre Slur

Negativland did this Welles ‘event’ major justice with this amazing piece of detournemont from 1998: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGtYheTcajc
LO!
http://daruiburns.tumblr.com/ Dlo Burns

If I had my way I’d have a Welles impersonator call me up and read horse_ebooks tweets at various times of the day.
Gary Parker

And here’s some quality swearing and ranting from The One True Doctor, Mr Tom Baker:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQeTIjD0T_4
- howaboutthisdangit
  
  You beat me to it. I’ve always wondered if Tom was drunk or coked up, or if that was really just his own wonderful personality shining through.
  - NynjaSquirrel
    
    In my position as ‘creative’ at a radio station I worked with the producer/poor sod on the other end of this conversation. We used Tom a few times for a variety of ads – he could sound fantastic if you were prepared to put the work in. This tbh – was normal Tom, and you were royally fucked if you didn’t have your facts spot on for anything he was reading.
http://twitter.com/bradbelltv Brad Bell

He’s right though. Dude’s telling Orson Welles to do the ‘broadcaster’ voice that randomly emphasises words like “in.” Every amateur broadcaster knows TO emphasise abstract, meaningless words FOR greater impact. As does every London tube announcer. “The train WILL now be leaving. All passengers ARE reminded the broadcaster voice IS necessary TO convey authority.”

I think Ira Glass would have reacted the same way.
http://youtu.be/BI23U7U2aUY
4 minute mark
- wizardru
  
  Never mind that by this point, Welles had been involved in broadcasting for what, 40-50 years? I suspect this would fall right in the same zone as…well, this:
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lD1xu3Li0g
http://www.jhhl.net/ Henry Lowengard

Yet another version was done by Mark Rudolph on WFMU-TV: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bBp67UKbRk&feature=plcp
He’s playing both Welles and the director.
Timothy Krause

Quel(le) (h)auteur.
Emo Pinata

Warner brothers pumped out great animation in my childhood, and it was a long time until great stuff hit air again.
- Diogenes
  
  And now we’re left with random nonsense. Animation is overdue for some wit and intelligence.
wrybread

This sent me on an Orson Wells youtube journey. Oh lordey. Here’s my current favorite, a Japanese whiskey ad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GveTzOQNCrM&feature=related

Wow.
- http://daruiburns.tumblr.com/ Dlo Burns
  
  That was actually kind of depressing.
SDurnin

Waste of a brilliant talent.