$100k chicken coop

Neiman Marcus sells this chicken coop for $100,000.

Your custom-made multilevel dwelling features a nesting area, a "living room" for nighttime roosting, a broody room, a library filled with chicken and gardening books for visitors of the human kind, and, of course, an elegant chandelier. The environment suits them well as you notice the fresh eggs awaiting morning collection. Nearby, you pick fresh vegetables or herbs from your custom-built raised gardens. You've always fancied yourself a farmer—now thanks to Heritage Hen Farm, you're doing it in the fanciest way possible!

Beau Coop (Thanks, Mister Jalopy!)

• [Missy Pants]

  The details:
  The buyer will receive an initial farm consultation and grounds survey and two additional onsite visits from Heritage Hen Farm expert, Svetlana Simon.Simon will select three to ten heritage-breed hens carefully selected to suit your region.Installation includes two custom-designed and installed raised vegetable or herb garden beds.Package includes a multilevel dwelling, nesting area, “living room,” broody room, library with books, two Heritage Hen Farm pasture grazing trays, waterer, feeder, and chandelier. All other props and furnishings not included.Please allow 6 weeks for delivery.Delivery not included.

  For every Heritage Hen Mini Farm purchase, NM will donate $3,000 to The American Livestock Breeds Conservancy, a nonprofit organization that protects genetic diversity through the conservation and promotion of endangered breeds.

  So, you get a tax write off and 3 to 10 chickens, well, that’s not so bad then!

  • [foobar]

    Unless stated otherwise, I’d imagine NM gets the tax write off.

    • [Funk Daddy]

      Unless audited, I’d imagine both NM and customer do.

      But, breed diversity is worth fleecing a few rich idiots and lining NM pockets by selling ideals. If they sell any that is.

      Chicken keeping is getting more popular all the time, they will probably sell a few.

      I’ve got some of the Dominiques (striped chicken pictured alone contemplating how it will shit on the still-life painting it views), they are small enough to get through those stupid butterfly doors, but some of the other breeds won’t, and eventually, being stupid a hell, they’ll injure themselves doing so.

      • [MatthewKrohn]

        Are you sure that’s a Dominique?  My first thought was actually Barred Rock, until I saw the dark legs, which to me says Cuckoo Marans.  They even dropped a few Marans eggs into the 4th photo.

        • [Funk Daddy]

          Hmmm, maybe not a Dom, I just stood up and looked at our run and our Dom’s have orange legs, but with light yellow on the front. Def too small for a Barred Rock IMO but yeah maybe a Maran

      • [MatthewKrohn]

        Also, if you get Golden Laced Wyandottes with this set, they’re /actually gilded/.

        • [Funk Daddy]

          I’ve got some Silver-laced Wyandottes but not from Neimans LoL

      • [Jesseham]

        The butterflies appear to me to be mesh windows

        • [Funk Daddy]

          I thought so too but in the other pics n the ad there’s a chicken ramp leading up to one. 

• [awjt]

  Boing Boing’s new layout boxes are hilarious.  They make the page so busy, you don’t know WHAT to read next!

• [Donaleen Kohn]

  still laughing…

• [Bruce Heerssen]

  Is it time to storm the Bastille, yet?

  • [Felton / Moderator]

    A chicken coup?

    • [Navin_Johnson]

      So are you guys hatching a plan, or what?

      • [Funk Daddy]

        Don’t egg them on!

• [Judas Peckerwood]

  Growing bored with dressing up your pure-bred Chow Chow in designer gowns and Tiffany jewelry? Don’t despair!

• [Fogbert]

  At $100 grand, these are definitely NOT free range chickens.

• [Funk Daddy]

  That’s hilarious. 

  “Soon after installation, most Beau Farmers will discover chicken shit adorning every surface, even if they themselves would have refrained from shitting on the elegant baroque furnishings (not included). 

  After about a month, there will be no more green grass framing the beautiful Versailles inspired coop (now shit stained on all but the most inaccessible points). Instead there will be a brown shit stained patch, with green shoots quickly devoured as fast as they sprout.

  Though picturesque chicken feed baskets are photogenic, mice and rats soon converge and in the end your Versailles inspired coop is adorned instead with large locking garbage cans, hopefully decorated in some gold leaf or something.

  Your beautiful raised vegetable and herb beds don’t produce nearly as well as you had hoped though, instead of vegetables and herbs you find denuded stalks, earth and shit…

  All these potential drawbacks are inconsequential to the real Beau Farmer though, because you’ll visit it once or twice upon installation, and then request your staff to simply tell you the eggs you are served are indeed from your own little Beau Brood.”

  • [MatthewKrohn]

    Wait, you get mice and rats?  Damn, I just get foxes picking off my hens one by one.

    • [Funk Daddy]

      To be fair they were around before the chickens. No foxes yet, they’re around but so far only raccoons have tried. To date without success but they are wily.

    • [Faith Landsman]

      Thankfully, we don’t have foxes, but I had to build a fort to keep out the raccoons and coyotes.

    • [Robert Drop]

      Yeah, I find mice love to live in the chicken coop, as the warmth and easy access to chicken food makes it rodent heaven.  Of course, if you disturb their nest during the daytime, the chickens will be happy to eat the mice, but they’re normally active when the chickens are asleep, so as long as no humans go blundering about, they’re safe.
      Also, chicken shit dust ends up staining everything, unless you have someone cleaning out the pen on at least a monthly basis.

    • [phuzz]

       Stick an electric fence around the coop, and make sure you shut them up at night.  That’s kept my folk’s hens safe for years.
      This is with UK countryside foxes though, which by and large stay miles away from people.  The urban ones on the other hand seem to have no fear of people whatsoever.

• [angusm]

  At that price, I hope it comes with a chicken elevator.

  • [lknope]

    It comes with dressage chickens.

  • [Jorpho]

     I think it needs some kind of lazor-powered fox-defense system.

• [Mark Duanburge]

  Pah, only $100,000? That’s chickenfeed, try the $250,000 coop:

  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2208357/Crispin-Odey-City-tycoon-millions-predicting-credit-crunch-plans-150k-hen-house.html

  • [Felton / Moderator]

    Only $100,000?  That’s hardly a poultry sum.

• [raines]

  Put a bunch together for a coop co-op.

• [Faith Landsman]

  My hand built and stained coop, while not nearly as fancy, and six matching home built 8×3 garden beds with drip irrigation systems cost about 1/100th of this set up. And I thought my eggs were expensive!!! I’m still in the 10′s of dollars per egg – but we’re definitely getting down to under $10. Also, I like mine better….

• [voiceinthedistance]

  I guess I always assumed that chickens were more into Pollock and Lichtenstein than baroque art.  I suppose the lesson here is to choose your poultry wisely.  Go for the one percenters, or you might have to avert your eyes from a few Thomas Kinkade’s when rounding up breakfast (unless you send your help to do it, instead).  Of course, that assumes you let the chickens decide, and that you don’t impose your taste on your chickens.

• [Navin_Johnson]

  For the cock that has everything.

• [Boundegar]

  I can think of other uses for $100,000.

• [jandrese]

  I have to wonder how many upscale mansion communities allow for livestock in the yard?  

  • [Antinous / Moderator]

    I’ve seen some cat fights over people growing tomatoes in their front yard in expensive neighborhoods.

  • [chgoliz]

    You forget that we’re not talking about a “yard”….it’s acreage.  Lots of room to dabble, far from any neighbors.

• [pjcamp]

  My boss in my first job had some of those Japanese decorator chickens. They set up an unholy racket at 5 AM every day. To keep peace with the neighbors, he had a soundproof chicken coop constructed. But since soundproof = airproof, he also had to bring in an HVAC guy to ventilate it.

  It’s the only air conditioned chicken coop I’ve ever seen. As a graduate student, I wouldn’t have minded living in there.