Shocking, vicious attack-ads from the dirty presidential race

Redditor Aspirin742 and his six-year-old daughter Elissa are both contenders in a hard-fought election for President of their house. The campaigning has gotten really ugly.

My 6 year old daughter and I are having an election for President of the House (imgur.com) (via Super Punch)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: elections • Funny • Kids • parenting • reddit

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The Snowden Principle

Boundegar

One more example of the oppressive patriarchy squashing the political aspirations of women.
BadIdeaSociety

There is no way I am voting for someone who eats beverages. You drink beverages! Dad is a fool.
- Peppermint
  
  Goddammit, you stole my joke!
  - BadIdeaSociety
    
    You can still use the one where you accuse Alissa of drawing an image of her father in a black & white, dramatic, slow-motion way to evoke feelings of fear in its readers.
- Jason Baker
  
  Pop is something popcorn kernels do.
  
  You’re thinking of soda.
  - Drew_Gehringer
    
    depends on where you live.
David Carroll

Who gets to tell the newly elected president that they can’t do squat without support from the house members? Yes the one you just called “stinky”, “ugly” and a poop eater on national internet. ;)
- welcomeabored
  
  As with many a government is which there is no clear majority, there will be the need to form a coalition, backroom deals will be made, members of the opposition will be getting in bed with one another… um, has mommy endorsed a candidate yet, or will she be voting the Green Party?
- Drew_Gehringer
  
  *pop eater.
  - acerplatanoides
    
    It may be a daddy and pop situation. You never know how literal kids can be.
Wingnut

Uh-ph, I heard that Elissa has just retained Gloria Allred…
BarBarSeven

Her father is ugly. Screw him!
- Church
  
  That’s how we got into this situation…
  - ocker3
    
    Blame Mum (Mom for our American viewers), she’s the one who first voted for him!
    - https://launchpad.net/~googoleyes koanhead
      
      Some vote with their pocketbook, some with their fanny-pack…
nixiebunny

Calvin’s Dad from Calvin and Hobbes had the same problem.
grimc

Elissa’s smiling on her poster, which tells me that her administration would be approachable and conscious of my needs. On the other hand, Daddy can put his poster higher, and sometimes you need somebody who can reach high things.
Ed Ligget. Tuba.

My anonymous source says they’re secretly blood relatives, so there’s very little difference between the candidates. WRITE IN CAMPAIGN FOR MOM!!!
- Guest
  
  A third party? Go on if you want to throw your vote away…
- https://launchpad.net/~googoleyes koanhead
  
  Who do you suppose is voting *and* counting the votes?
Wingnut

There is only one valid choice…
- http://2012diaries.blogspot.com/ tristan eldritch
  
  End the Fed. And Early Bed-Times.
benher

Pop? Is this a Minnesota election by chance??
http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb

It’s the Northern Plan. Daddy realizes he’s alienating California and New England by eating “pop” instead of soda, but he would have lost those anyway. Elissa could solidify her support from the South by eating “coke”.

http://strangemaps.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/popvssodamap.gif

Frickin dogwhistle politics, man.
DSarge001

i want to see elissas’ birth cetrticate & dad’s tax returns from the last 3 years before I cast my vote.
Shibi_SF

I want to know more about this popping (pooping?) cat.
rocketpjs

We all know it’s Mom who is really in charge in the backroom, Dad and Alissa are just two flavors of the same party. She controls the action with candies and other forms of bribery, especially since Citizens United.

If either of them ever actually says something that threatens the authority and position of Mom, then look out.
OgilvyTheAstronomer

Life imitates Fallout…

http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Republic_of_Dave
Jen Onymous

For the love of Cthullu PLEASE don’t give the current Presidential candidates any more ideas for negative attacks.

I could see it coming to this…