40,000 lbs of walnuts stolen

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37 Responses to “40,000 lbs of walnuts stolen”

  1. MrsBug says:

    Wow, what a nutty robbery.

  2. Whoa. Anyone seeing the connection here?  Earlier this fall, someone steels Canada’s strategic maple reserve.  Now Walnuts is gone.  This is a major assault on the breakfast industry.  Guard you neighborhood IHOP like your life depends on it!

  3. Andrew MacCormack says:

    Police are hoping to crack open the case…

  4. Jesseham says:

    Found abandoned down the road: one 6 foot man costume, zipper in back. Squirrel hair throughout.

  5. Deidzoeb says:

    Look no further. Here’s the thief. Totally fits his MO, although he probably has inside help.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sergei_Malatov

  6. dexitroboper says:

    Underpants Walnut gnomes:
    Phase 1. Collect walnuts
    Phase 2. ?
    Phase 3. Profit

  7. artbyjcm says:

    “You’re gunna love my nuts.” he said as he tried selling them on the fruit & nut black market.

    Funny thing is, where I live police practice gnarly tactical missions in a massive abandoned fruit and nut store. The signs advertising the products are still up. I feel like the police here need to specifically be put on this case because of their experience in this very specific field.

  8. LikesTurtles says:

    Nut prices the last decade or so have been really nuts. People are now stealing pecans out of yards because they’re so valuable. It’s a real burden on those of us who like to make many varieties of pesto.

    • I’ve noticed this.  Real burden on me as someone who loves nuts and doesn’t eat meat – great source of a lot of stuff, and delicious.

      But if they’re not sold in McDonalds it’s a healthfood and prices must be doubled.

    • Tchoutoye says:

      These days a small box of nuts (any kind but peanuts) costs more than a Greenfields free range beef steak. It’s completely nuts.

  9. sdmikev says:

    Interesting walnut facts from the wiki’s –
    Walnuts are one of the several high nutrient density foods. 100 grams of walnuts contain 15.2 gram protein, 65.2 gram fat, and 6.7 gram dietary fiber.
    The Sacramento and San Joaquin valleys of California produce 99 percent of the nation’s commercial [crop].
    The world produced a total of 2.55 million metric tonnes of walnut seeds in 2010

  10. Henry Pootel says:

    “Harlan Pepper, you stop stealin’ nuts!”

  11. Michael Escobar says:

    Precious Roy: BUY MY CHINESE STRESS TOYS, SUCKERS!

  12. acerplatanoides says:

    Perhaps there are Russians setting trap for Moose and SQUIRREL?

  13. Someone watched that Fringe episode where futuristic “Amber Gypsies” trade bodies for walnuts.

    He’s got the nuts.  Now he just has to sit on them for a while…

  14. Miche says:

    Sigh. Everybody knows you gotta protect your nuts!

  15. SpaceOtter says:

    It was Albino Mike!

    http://www.abominable.cc/ 

  16. Jean Dunk says:

    they are in Rob and Laura Petrie’s closet

  17. BombBlastLightingWaltz says:

    It would seem more likely that the ‘witness employees’ had a ‘buddy’ take the truck to a farm close by and hide it in a barn then later they had a walnut party with their closest friends. They paid for it the next day with the worse walnut hangovers, so in a way, social justice was served.

  18. He either really loves walnuts, or there’s a bustling black market walnut economy that I’ve just become aware of.

    I’d love that many nuts, but I think I’d go for pistachios, ooh no, cashews!  No macadamias! 

    So it looks like I might need a lorry and some shipping numbers.

  19. ttsxii says:

    Has Earth has been invaded by a emissary from the planet Twilo named Kolak?

  20. bcsizemo says:

    I can’t believe no one made a reference to Fringe…

  21. Nash Rambler says:

    Jokes aside, how do you move that many hot nuts?

    Okay, jokes somewhat aside.

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