Comments on: 40,000 lbs of walnuts stolen

By: Tchoutoye

Tchoutoye — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 16:01:00 +0000

These days a small box of nuts (any kind but peanuts) costs more than a Greenfields free range beef steak. It’s completely nuts.

By: Nash Rambler

Nash Rambler — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 14:28:00 +0000

Jokes aside, how do you move that many hot nuts?

Okay, jokes somewhat aside.

By: bcsizemo

bcsizemo — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 14:23:00 +0000

I can’t believe no one made a reference to Fringe…

By: ttsxii

ttsxii — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 14:12:00 +0000

Has Earth has been invaded by a emissary from the planet Twilo named Kolak?

By: Nathan Hornby

Nathan Hornby — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 13:03:00 +0000

I’ve noticed this. Real burden on me as someone who loves nuts and doesn’t eat meat – great source of a lot of stuff, and delicious.

But if they’re not sold in McDonalds it’s a healthfood and prices must be doubled.

By: Nathan Hornby

Nathan Hornby — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 13:00:00 +0000

He either really loves walnuts, or there’s a bustling black market walnut economy that I’ve just become aware of.

I’d love that many nuts, but I think I’d go for pistachios, ooh no, cashews! No macadamias!

So it looks like I might need a lorry and some shipping numbers.

By: noah django

noah django — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 05:39:00 +0000

throw in some pirate cripplers and you’ve got yourself a deal.

By: noah django

noah django — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 05:36:00 +0000

（＾＾）Y☆Y(＾^ ）

exactly my first thought

By: BombBlastLightingWaltz

BombBlastLightingWaltz — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 04:01:00 +0000

You have a buyer waiting over seas, where they might not care so much how the walnuts arrived but that they did.

One of the best grafting arts is to work out of country and hope not to get caught by the local crooks or cops but fool them both.

By: BombBlastLightingWaltz

BombBlastLightingWaltz — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 03:58:00 +0000

It would seem more likely that the ‘witness employees’ had a ‘buddy’ take the truck to a farm close by and hide it in a barn then later they had a walnut party with their closest friends. They paid for it the next day with the worse walnut hangovers, so in a way, social justice was served.

By: Jean Dunk

Jean Dunk — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 02:23:00 +0000

they are in Rob and Laura Petrie’s closet

By: timquinn

timquinn — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 02:20:00 +0000

“Look how well these have aged. Playing with these kinds of walnuts isn’t for ordinary people,” Kou said.

By: Mim

Mim — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 02:00:00 +0000

The Chef strikes again! When will people catch on to this super villain and his evil plot to bake a walnut tart big enough to block the sun!?

By: SpaceOtter

SpaceOtter — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 01:22:00 +0000

It was Albino Mike!

http://www.abominable.cc/

By: Fogbert

Fogbert — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 00:39:00 +0000

Agreed. These guys are going to be rich–if they can wait long enough.

By: Miche

Miche — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 23:20:00 +0000

Sigh. Everybody knows you gotta protect your nuts!

By: Aaron Gilliland

Aaron Gilliland — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 23:09:00 +0000

Someone watched that Fringe episode where futuristic “Amber Gypsies” trade bodies for walnuts.

He’s got the nuts. Now he just has to sit on them for a while…

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 23:04:00 +0000

Pistachio nut. Red pistachio nut. Natural, all natural white pistachio nut.

By: Tynam

Tynam — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 22:54:00 +0000

It’s not the theft that confuses me; it’s wondering how you fence it.

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 22:42:00 +0000

Nae. They only recovered ~119 thousand liters. 3.75 million liters were stolen.

I take this personally, as I consider maple syrup to be one of the major food groups. Pro-tip: buy Grade B; it’s cheaper and has a stronger maple flavor.

By: acerplatanoides

acerplatanoides — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 22:41:00 +0000

Perhaps there are Russians setting trap for Moose and SQUIRREL?

By: Michael Escobar

Michael Escobar — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 22:20:00 +0000

Precious Roy: BUY MY CHINESE STRESS TOYS, SUCKERS!

By: Henry Pootel

Henry Pootel — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 22:11:00 +0000

“Harlan Pepper, you stop stealin’ nuts!”

By: sdmikev

sdmikev — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 21:57:00 +0000

Interesting walnut facts from the wiki’s –
Walnuts are one of the several high nutrient density foods. 100 grams of walnuts contain 15.2 gram protein, 65.2 gram fat, and 6.7 gram dietary fiber.
The Sacramento and San Joaquin valleys of California produce 99 percent of the nation’s commercial [crop].
The world produced a total of 2.55 million metric tonnes of walnut seeds in 2010

By: acerplatanoides

acerplatanoides — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 21:56:00 +0000

It’s totally that guy.

By: LikesTurtles

LikesTurtles — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 21:44:00 +0000

Nut prices the last decade or so have been really nuts. People are now stealing pecans out of yards because they’re so valuable. It’s a real burden on those of us who like to make many varieties of pesto.

By: artbyjcm

artbyjcm — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 21:43:00 +0000

“You’re gunna love my nuts.” he said as he tried selling them on the fruit & nut black market.

Funny thing is, where I live police practice gnarly tactical missions in a massive abandoned fruit and nut store. The signs advertising the products are still up. I feel like the police here need to specifically be put on this case because of their experience in this very specific field.

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 21:32:00 +0000

Keep your eyes open for a giant maple roasted walnut sale on Craigslist.

By: Missy Pants

Missy Pants — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 21:31:00 +0000

The syrup was found in New Brunswick; the Drive-thru province.
http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/article/1266204–maple-syrup-stolen-in-quebec-seized-by-police-in-new-brunswick

By: dexitroboper

dexitroboper — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 21:31:00 +0000

~~Underpants~~ Walnut gnomes:
Phase 1. Collect walnuts
Phase 2. ?
Phase 3. Profit