"Now the Global Left/Soros/Cloward-Piven/Eric Holder/Mau Mau endgame approaches. Get ready for CIA Director Dennis Kucinich." From BB commenter SedanChair comes this gem of analytical bravado, a summary of farthest-of-far right-wing conspiracy theories on Petraeusgate.

26 Responses to “Best Petraeus conspiracy theory summary ever, from a BB commenter”

  1. mindysan33 says:

    Well.  I, for one, welcome our new hippie overlords.  Let the sunshine in Mr. Kucinich….

  2. We should BE so lucky!!
    Also, “Mau Mau Endgame” = awesome band name.

  3. Sirkowski says:

    The right wingers are blaming the mistress exclusively. Because a former general and intelligence director has no control over his own dick.

    • Ender Wiggin says:

      most of the right wingers i’ve seen all seem to be blaming obama.  as usual. while still muttering about semantical bullshit regarding bengazi.

    • margaretpoa says:

       I can’t count how many mainstream media outlets seem to be flummoxed that a general could have possibly failed to control his penis. Yeah! Because generals don’t have sex unless their partners are laying at attention, John Phillip Sousa is playing and the Viagra is red, white and blue.

    • Marc Mielke says:

      The mistress seems to be a pretty incredible person herself; I’d chalk the whole thing up to good taste on both their parts. I still feel, however, that anyone who can’t cover up their own extramarital affair has no business protecting the government’s secrets. 

  4. Putting Dennis Kucinich in charge of the CIA would be almost like putting Julian Assange in charge of the CIA. In other words, BEST IDEA EVAR!

    • BillStewart2012 says:

      I’d been rooting for Ron Paul for CIA, as a way for Obama to give the Republicans some offices for their party members.  But I’ll take Kucinich, if Obama’s not putting him at the Pentagon.

  5. Melted Crayons says:

    Petraeus is getting sexed up in his bid to become our future Putin.

  6. margaretpoa says:

    What? No Benghazi reference? Or did Patraeus’ mistress instigate that out of spite?

    • BillStewart2012 says:

       Lots of right-wingers are ranting about that one.  But this conspiracy nut is extra-special.

      • margaretpoa says:

         Really? Cause I haven’t heard any right wingers put Benghazi and this episode together yet. I guess I can’t be as silly as they are, even when I try.

  7. Sara Rose says:

    Broadwell reminds me very much of “Astro -Nut” from a few years back–you know, the gal who drove from Texas to Florida and attacked her NASA boyfriend’s other mistress. A smart, athletic sociopath.

  8. Mister44 says:

    This is exactly why I DON’T believe in vast conspiracies. If the CIA can’t keep a sex scandal quiet – of all the entities to make a problem “disappear” – how would they keep some sprawling conspiracy a secret? Another example is Clinton’s BJ. 

  9. I’m a single middle aged guy who’s merely hoping it all helps 20-40-something women see what adventure there is in playing with the old guys…ladies, I have a gmail account and I bet I know some gov’t secrets, how ’bout it?

    • cdh1971 says:

      If you do this, you might avoid going on and on about “The Company.” It’s my understanding that the only people who this are either in old movies, or are just posturing around, and never had any connection to the CIA at all. 

  10. MrJM says:

    “I don’t often buy into right-wing conspiracy theories, but clearly Petraeus started an affair last year to avoid testifying about Benghazi.” — Andy Borowitz

  11. E T says:

    P. Broadwell:
    Q: What are 3 characteristics that you believe define great leadership?

    A: Integrity, or adherence to a strict moral and ethical code
    http://www.claudiachan.com/interviews/paula-broadwell/

  12. IndexMe says:

    Gravitational collapse in 3..2..1.. :o

  13. amarx says:

    The Right Wing crazies are also saying he had an affair with this guy:  http://hollywoodandswine.com/mans-gaydar-explodes-after-meeting-jessica-simpsons-father/

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