Comments on: Cufflinks that open hand-cuffs

By: Lupus_Yonderboy

Lupus_Yonderboy — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 23:26:00 +0000

Huh, the intarwebs say that I only have Amazon to pay.

http://www.amazon.com/Zipper-Pull-Non-Metallic-Covert-Handcuff-Lanyard/dp/B005IQSRA6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1353021835&sr=8-2&keywords=covert+handcuff+key

Although, given the working conditions in their warehouses, I guess hell is as good a modifier as any.

By: snagglepuss

snagglepuss — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 16:32:00 +0000

Q knows that the more complicated a gadget, the higher the fail rate. (The new generation of Bond movies up the realism, so to speak – At least, in comparison to the Moore / Brosnan shitfests)
He appreciated Old School simplicity and reliabilty. I’m more concerned with the fact that most cops seem to prefer plastic zipstrips as cuffs these days, an item against which these cufflink-keys are 100% useless.

By: welcomeabored

welcomeabored — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 15:00:00 +0000

{Reply to David}: Bound but still fully clothed? Hell, international spies are violent, fast, treacherous and resourceful (also devastatingly handsome and consummate lovers). One can understand when a super villain and his henchmen inevitably lose, but a dominatrix that fails to maintain control? What is the world coming to?

By: dragonfrog

dragonfrog — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 14:37:00 +0000

I suppose it may be true – they just get off without punishment, because the fact of having been arrested is “punishment enough” for some reason.

By: welcomeabored

welcomeabored — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 14:37:00 +0000

I love to watch the new Daniel Craig Bond movies for the action, but I wish the storylines were more clever. The new ‘Q’ is played by Ben Whishaw, only 32 years old. Wouldn’t the old ‘key in the cufflinks’ gambit be a bit obvious for this Gen X quartermaster? You would think any Bond villian worth his salt would tell his henchmen, if they’re lucky enough to get Bond in handcuffs, to strip him of any and all things metal, and that Q branch would anticipate this.

By: David

David — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 14:06:00 +0000

Q put a laser into a Rolex and a diamond honed saw into an Omega. (I think those were the watches.) Q preferred overkill.

By: bkad

bkad — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 14:04:00 +0000

That’s an interesting thought. I hadn’t thought about that before.

Though I think in the case where you picked your cuffs while in police custody, and are shot or tazed by the police because they are threatened by your unexpected freedom (and apparent criminal intent, for both the foresight to have these keys and the bad judgment to use them while in custody) — in that case, I think that event IS caused by you.

By: David

David — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 14:03:00 +0000

Probably more useful for the forgetful bdsm guy in the crowd than for anyone else. Still, swaggingly cool. I’d get a pair. More useful, however, would be a belt with hand cuff key in the belt buckle as well as one concealed in the back for when your hands are cuffed behind you.

By: SamSam

SamSam — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 13:48:00 +0000

The glass hammer would fit in the heels of the Armani shoes, of course.

By: SamSam

SamSam — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 13:45:00 +0000

Bankers snap and and commit stupid crimes and get thrown in the back of police cars too, you know. It’s not just something that happens to the hoodie-wearing lower classes…

By: peregrinus

peregrinus — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 10:58:00 +0000

I noticed that too! But then I reflected on the observational capabilities of donuts attempting to recall the Miranda sequence whilst simultaneously applying freedom bracelets, and concluded that no, they’d never notice.

A fine addition to the cufflinks would be a glass-hammer.

By: failquail

failquail — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 10:36:00 +0000

Can’t help thinking that printing a GIANT LOCK ICON on them kind of defeats the stealthy key aspect of these. :P

By: TheMudshark

TheMudshark — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 09:57:00 +0000

I´ll be sure to wear my sunday best to the next riot.

By: Marios P.

Marios P. — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 09:38:00 +0000

He should be fired

By: snagglepuss

snagglepuss — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 07:45:00 +0000

And Q never thought of this. Some secret-agent gadjet-monger he turned out to be,

By: vintermann

vintermann — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 07:40:00 +0000

I think that as a matter of principle, one should not use the passive voice in that manner, as it downplays the actor’s free choice in the matter. Especially when it comes to something as serious as shooting, that’s bad.

So instead I would say, “Some people might decide to shoot you”. Even if you comply with a threat of violence, never accept the logic that his actions are caused by you rather than him.

By: gumbowing

gumbowing — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 07:35:00 +0000

Just the thing for felonious plutocrats. Even so, expensive lawyers and lots of money beat handcuff keys every time.

By: HDN

HDN — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 07:02:00 +0000

Heck be nice to have to just loosen them up after the bastards crank them down on you. I don’t need to escape, just some relief, hypothetically.

By: Ramone

Ramone — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 06:50:00 +0000

So they’re Anti-Hand-Cuff-Links? Cool!

By: Tim in SF

Tim in SF — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 06:15:00 +0000

If you can get yourself out of handcuffs, you are more than likely to be tased shortly thereafter. Or shot.

By: eldritch

eldritch — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 06:04:00 +0000

Why would a banker, drunk or otherwise, be in the back of a cop car in the first place? Short of something like murder or grand embezzlement, that is.

They can get away with selling this because the sort of people who routinely wear cufflinks are exactly the sort of people who don’t NEED keys to hand cuffs (short of fetish play). When you can pay or influence your way out of trouble, you don’t get arrested for anything that isn’t REALLY important. I’ve witnessed it personally, sadly.

Now if they were selling hoodies or athletic shoes with lockpicks secreted away inside them, there’d be hell to pay…

By: nixiebunny

nixiebunny — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 05:29:00 +0000

GODDAMMIT where is the door handle?

By: SedanChair

SedanChair — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 04:49:00 +0000

I can just see some drunk banker trying to use these in the back of a cop car. “Screw you pig I’m out of here. I’m OUT OF HERE MAN I’M GOING GALT” *writhes around trying to open handcuffs*

By: ethicalcannibal

ethicalcannibal — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 04:23:00 +0000

These seem like they could be a cool DIY project, actually.