Man arrested for repeatedly sneaking onto farm, covering himself in dung and masturbating

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74 Responses to “Man arrested for repeatedly sneaking onto farm, covering himself in dung and masturbating”

  1. theophrastvs says:

    Can only associate masturbation with filth … i blames the church.  the dirty dirty church (and the texture of the Hessian underthings).

  2. HubrisSonic says:

    I’m not a professional, so all caveats apply but, this guy might be nuts.

    • apoxia says:

       As a clinical psychologist I can say I had the same thought as you. Of course he’d need to fully assessed, which I imagine would be quite an interesting interview.

  3. He needs to get his own farm like everybody else.

  4. Brad Gall says:

    The true reason for the second amendment.

  5. acerplatanoides says:

    That farm needs better moderators.

  6. mikemcl says:

    “Wednesday 2nd March 2011″
    This delay may be due to it being on the Devon internet in which it takes 15 months for stories to leak out into the wider world.

    The farmers should have just charged him £20/hour.

  7. Antinous / Moderator says:

    I love how his jerking off is the big story despite his history of arson.

  8. “-as he has masturbated in a muck spreader-”

    That’s a bit recursive…

  9. equidae says:

    For a security deposit and an hourly fee I would be willing to let him have the run of my cow manure before I add it to my composting pile. 

  10. Cowicide says:

    possession of extreme pornographic images in relation to animals

    Great name for band.

  11. Petzl says:

    Working on a sex farm

    Hosing down your barn door

    Bothering your livestock

    They know what I need

  12. V says:

    Well, there go my weekend plans….

  13. HubrisSonic says:

    Its called the Aristocrats! 

  14. bowlasoup says:

    He was just summoning the WSD.
    http://www.rathergood.com/demon

  15. RJ says:

    For punishment, they’ll have a busty woman in latex rub his nose in it and call him a bad boy.

  16. Peter says:

    Caught for the third time?

    Well, he’s in deep $#!+ now.

  17. Matt Fisher says:

    Shittiest orgasm ever.

  18. Ted Hammond says:

    This would fall under the “Three strokes you’re out” law…

  19. Orthodoxcaveman says:

    It’s a White thing, you wouldn’t understand.

  20. welcomeabored says:

    ‘When police officers arrived soon after, they found him covered in a large amount of slurry and mud, in a quagmire, surrounded by tissues.’

    He didn’t want to get his filth dirty?

  21. At last we know the answer to the question posed in COLD COMFORT FARM: “And did the sheep die?”

  22. Robert Cruickshank says:

    His facebook friends now really glad they trashed all those Farmville invites. 

  23. Dlo Burns says:

    Something tells me he’ll enjoy prison.

  24. Don Martin says:

    Aw come on, who of us here hasn’t done that several times in our lives?

  25. GawainLavers says:

    Cornwall.

  26. lewis_stoole says:

    which country or state will be the first to allow farm brothels?

  27. OgilvyTheAstronomer says:

    That boy needs therapy.

  28. niktemadur says:

    Can’t get that dumb Monty Python joke out of my head right now, so I’m gonna let it out here.

    What’s brown and sounds like a bell?  Duuuung!

    Here’s the weird thing – in any other circumstance, I text this joke to somebody and that’s what it is, a joke.
    But for this pyromaniac paraphiliac, it would be sexting.

    • Thad says:

       That joke was a joke before Python was even a glimmer in anybody’s eye. Same vintage as those funny book titles like Muck on The Garden Wall by Hoo Flung Dung. Not even sure that’s PC these days. We were woefully ignorant of such concerns in 1950-something. Maybe I’d better leave aside anything that might refer to race/language/etc and stick with Hungry Baby by Norah Titsoff.

      Look… I was only six or seven at the time… 

  29. snagglepuss says:

    BELIEVE me – The ONLY reason I came in here was to read the comments. As always, boing boingers do not disappoint…

  30. Frank Diekman says:

    Why did he do it?

    Because he was shit faced!

    ZING!

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