Please advise.

(Via Lawrence Wilkinson)

• [chris jimson]

  “Please advise”

  Yeah, my advice: Miles is a bad mutha, you call the record whatever he wants it called.

  • [Navin_Johnson]

     But “Project # 03802″ has a pretty good ring to it.

• [Sean Lally]

  Call it Bitches Brew, bitches!

• [Helvis]

  That just made me unbelievably happy! 

• [s2redux]

  Like all the rest of us in 1969, Teo was just trying to figure out if the title was missing an apostrophe, or not.

  (Thank you Miles — don’t know what you did, but it was bad enough or mad enough to inspire the founding of Mahavishnu Orchestra, Return To Forever, Mwandishi Band, and Weather Report… Almost makes up for teaching Bill how to shoot.)

• [Brian Riggins]

  A friend and coworker of mine is always telling me that when someone writes “Please Advise” at the end of a note, they really mean “WTF?”

  I had to show this to him.

  • [Katey Cardigan]

    I correspond with Chinese suppliers on a daily basis at work, “Please advise” is one of the common phrases they use, and therefore I use all the time now. And I agree, it does pretty much mean “WTF.”
    (“Please confirm” “Please note” “Noted” “Well noted” “Best regards” are other new additions to my email vocabulary.)

    • [John]

      My Indian colleagues regularly use “Please do the necessary” as a standalone sentence.  It always sounds euphemistic to me.

      • [Antinous / Moderator]

        That sounds like something that you’d say to your six year-old before getting into the car for a trip.

      • [dustbuster7000]

        Personally I prefer the very common Indian English phrase: “Please do the needful.” It took me a while to stop laughing the first time I heard it. But they also coined (to my knowledge) the gem, pre-pone, the opposite of post-pone.

        • [John]

          Whoops, I’d meant to type “needful.”  Thank you.  Yeah, that’s the one. 

• [royaltrux]

  They flat out rejected The Afterbirth of Cool.

• [gobo]

  We recommend suggesting the less controversial “Witches’ Brew” to Mr. Davis, or alternately, a blank cover with no title displayed. We’re sure he’ll be amenable. Please let us know his response.

• [Donald Petersen]

  Teo–

  Fuck Yeah.

  –Phyl

• [Nihilist]

  and today that album is one of the all time great albums…. period.  and cbs is still making nice buckage selling it………. f the record execs, they still suck to this day.

  • [tonym]

    If you are referring to Teo Macero as a ‘record exec’, don’t forget that Teo produced most of Miles’s stuff from Kind of Blue through to the early eighties.  Teo most definitely did not suck.

• [cellocgw]

  All the same, that’s probably my least favorite of all Miles’ work.  And Mahivishnu Orchestra was one of the biggest piles of self-wanking crap (work that one out!)  ever put to vinyl.  Not that I’m opinionated or anything.

  • [noah django]

     it needed to be said

• [microcandella]

  My favorite is from Urban Dictionary:

  Please Advise-

  An extremely stuffy phrase used by business executives to close emails when they don’t understand how to ask a real question.

  It basically means “Please use your imagination to figure out what the fuck I need to know to make a decision on this item without making me look like an idiot in front of all the people I CCed”

  “Please Advise” is typically used in place of “Thanks” in formatting an email.
  It is very passive aggressive. Always assume that the user of the phrase “please advise” is a college graduate that follows the advice of his professors to a T… Even 15 years later..

  Dear Luke,I recently got a call from Alex in LA telling me that we’re out of blinkity blank in California so the blippity blue isn’t working.
  What-the-fuck what-the-fuck we’re losing 15k a day what-the-fuck save me please.

  Please Advise,
  John

• [anderalert]

  ‘Teo, yeah, Miles here, I wanna call this album Bitches Brew.’
  ‘Miles! Oh of course great title perfect love it let me just run that by John Joe and Phyllis.’
  Seriously, I wonder what that call sounded like. Not this.

  • [toyg]

    “You mean ‘witches’, right?”

    “No, no, bitches Teo, bitches. Jazz ain’t nothing to do with witches, right? I don’t make no music for witches, I make it for my bitches, know what I’m sayin’? And they play my trumpet alright! So they play my trumpet and I play this music, so it’s their damn fault. Tell this to your bosses, they’ll understand.”

    “Uh… ok. I will, yeah, I see what you mean. Yeah, that sounds great! Keep going Miles, you da man.” /puts down the phone/ “WHATTAF…! Goddamn n***er… DORIS! Type me this…”

• [pjcamp]

  From: Joe Agresti
  To: Teo Macero
  Re: Project #03802

  Bitches DO brew.

  Duh.

• [Jim Kelly]

  Ian Faith:
  They’re not gonna release the album… because they have decided that the cover is sexist.

  Nigel Tufnel:
  Well, so what? What’s wrong with bein’ sexy? I mean there’s no…

  Ian Faith:
  Sex-IST!

  David St. Hubbins:
  IST!