Comments on: Caviar vending machines in LA malls

By: cjporkchop

cjporkchop — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 03:33:00 +0000

I agree that the Burbank mall isn’t upscale, but the Westfield Topanga (in Woodland Hills/Canoga Park) is pretty darn upscale in parts. The fancy stores like Cartier and Louis Vuitton (sp? don’t care enough to look up) are grouped together, away from stuff like Hot Dog On A Stick or the We Buy Gold kiosk.

By: Frank Diekman

Frank Diekman — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 05:00:00 +0000

Caviar? In a vending machine? *drops monocle in astonishment*

By: Phil Sundry

Phil Sundry — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 19:13:00 +0000

Relatively speaking (and I know this isn’t the point of the article), those malls aren’t really “upscale”. The Burbank Town Center is only a step or two above a dead mall with multiple knock-off “Earring Tree”-style stores and a bunch of seasonal (Halloween costumes shops, Christmas decorations) but otherwise abandoned storefronts.

The downmarket nature of these malls actually makes the presence of caviar vending machines that much more surreal. It’s like an art piece whose purpose is to make Los Angeles even more loathsome than it really is and that would be an incredible feat.

By: rtresco

rtresco — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 17:33:00 +0000

Caviar is so hot right now!

By: Charlie B

Charlie B — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 04:28:00 +0000

Wait, that wasn’t a snack machine?

I thought the calimari was a bit stale.

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 21:44:00 +0000

Grocery stores? I buy it at the Petrossian counter at Nieman Marcus. http://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/Petrossian-Individual-Caviar-Flavors-Gourmet-Food/prod143620106/

By: edkedz

edkedz — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 21:13:00 +0000

Yeah, I’m eagerly awaiting the story about one of these getting knocked over (as in getting broken into or hauled away entirely and stripped of their product and any cash, though I would be surprised if these weren’t card-only).

By: Gerald Mander

Gerald Mander — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 20:01:00 +0000

I really really really don’t miss living in Los Angeles.

By: tré

tré — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 19:40:00 +0000

Disappear Here?

By: allium

allium — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 19:17:00 +0000

Presumably the prep work for that hack would be something you’d outsource through Craigslist.

By: allium

allium — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 19:15:00 +0000

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_court – where you consume to support further consumption.

By: Guest

Guest — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 19:14:00 +0000

It’s not much of a food, really, rather a (barely) edible item to demonstrate wealth.

By: Guest

Guest — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 19:11:00 +0000

I don’t know, take the french fries vending machines, they are not too convincing.

By: Michael DeGuzis

Michael DeGuzis — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 17:45:00 +0000

I bet these machines contain more cash than an ATM :)

By: SeekerLancer

SeekerLancer — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 17:41:00 +0000

You can’t blame them, who wants an unwashed poor person to hand their caviar to them. It’s disgusting, enough to make one lose their appetite. This way you don’t have to see the sadness in the eyes of the wait staff.

By: Ipo

Ipo — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 17:12:00 +0000

Strange. Caviar is eaten as a garnish or spread. Eating it by the spoonful is nouveau riche, and like eating (very expensive) mayonnaise straight from the jar. To me at least.
Way too salty too.

By: 10xor01

10xor01 — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 16:56:00 +0000

That settles it. From now on, all my panhandling will be done near these malls.

By: Itsumishi

Itsumishi — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 16:53:00 +0000

Food court? What is a “food court”?

By: Ipo

Ipo — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 16:40:00 +0000

Would like again.
(If you used some capital letters.)

By: blueelm

blueelm — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 15:50:00 +0000

Caviar wrapped in used schoolgirl panties. I’m pretty sure there’s already a market for this.

By: Jonathan Roberts

Jonathan Roberts — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 15:48:00 +0000

You need to stop making glib remarks about cakes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JibxHpXqAfc

By: Cory Trevor

Cory Trevor — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 15:29:00 +0000

Yeah, maybe they’d sell more like flapjacks or johnnybread. You’d have to price them right- perhaps three silver dollars for two regular ones.

By: Funk Daddy

Funk Daddy — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 15:01:00 +0000

… would they indeed sell like hotcakes, these hot cakes?

By: CH

CH — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:59:00 +0000

Nah, this is for poor people. You know… the ones that don’t already have mother of pearl spoons or staff who will go buy the caviar for you, make you the blinis, and serve them for you on a nice golden platter.

I guess it could do in a pinch if you are out on a road trip and notice that the cook, again, forgot to pack some extra tubs of caviar and you just ate the last one. But then you would send your driver to buy it for you, wouldn’t you?

By: Funk Daddy

Funk Daddy — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:59:00 +0000

Certainly fresher!

By: cfuse

cfuse — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:53:00 +0000

I’m pretty sure the final evolution of the vending machine is one that is loaded with caviar in one side and Japanese schoolgirl panties in the other.

By: SedanChair

SedanChair — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:51:00 +0000

But poor people may have serviced these machines! Thomas, fetch my driving gloves out of the Maybach

By: blueelm

blueelm — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:50:00 +0000

I totally don’t get it. Isn’t caviar more of a party food? But blinis. That’s genius.

By: Ashen Victor

Ashen Victor — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:47:00 +0000

They not only scream “Vandalize me” but also “Hack me” to serve minced turds in place of caviar

By: Cory Trevor

Cory Trevor — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:47:00 +0000

F- caviar, but they might be on to something with the blinis. A vending machine with a viewing port that made hot fresh blinis/crepes/pancakes would be awesome, they’d sell like hotcakes!