Caviar vending machines in LA malls

Caviar vending machines have been installed in three upscale malls in LA. In addition to $500/oz caviar, they also dispense blinis, mother of pearl spoons, and other caviar essentials. The vending machines (they're billed as "ATMs for caviar") can be found at Westfield Century City, Westfield Topanga, and the Burbank Towne Center. Apparently, these are old news in Russia, where they are favorites of oligarchs and their entourages.

Finally! Caviar by ATM (via Super Punch)

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fredh

Why does this seem like something from a JG Ballard story?
Cynical

Just remember: they hate us for our freedom. Nothing else going on here, no sirree.
http://hame.ca/one/ Hamish Grant

these are just gussied up versions of the “live bait” vending machines outside of gas stations in areas frequented by hunters & anglers..
- oasisob1
  
  And the fact is, the live bait tastes better.
  - http://twitter.com/fossilfuels Funk Daddy
    
    Certainly fresher!
- Ipo
  
  Would like again.
  (If you used some capital letters.)
- Charlie B
  
  Wait, that wasn’t a snack machine?
  
  I thought the calimari was a bit stale.
http://twitter.com/sfrazer Scott Frazer

What good is buying $500/oz caviar if you can’t rub it in the face of someone who struggles to afford that much in rent per month?

Alternatively: Of _course_ they need these machines, so they don’t have to interact with such people.
- http://imcravingpresidency.tumblr.com/ SedanChair
  
  But poor people may have serviced these machines! Thomas, fetch my driving gloves out of the Maybach
- CH
  
  Nah, this is for poor people. You know… the ones that don’t already have mother of pearl spoons or staff who will go buy the caviar for you, make you the blinis, and serve them for you on a nice golden platter.
  
  I guess it could do in a pinch if you are out on a road trip and notice that the cook, again, forgot to pack some extra tubs of caviar and you just ate the last one. But then you would send your driver to buy it for you, wouldn’t you?
vonbobo

for folks that don’t know how to shop at grocery stores?
The maid called in sick?
When the food court just won’t do?
- http://www.ikaink.net Itsumishi
  
  Food court? What is a “food court”?
  - allium
    
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_court – where you consume to support further consumption.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Grocery stores? I buy it at the Petrossian counter at Nieman Marcus. http://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/Petrossian-Individual-Caviar-Flavors-Gourmet-Food/prod143620106/
eldritch

Do they have their own dedicated surveillance cameras? Are they perhaps in areas with restricted public access? Because one would imagine this sort of thing would just scream “Vandalize me!” to any number of parties.
- Ashen Victor
  
  They not only scream “Vandalize me” but also “Hack me” to serve minced turds in place of caviar
  - allium
    
    Presumably the prep work for that hack would be something you’d outsource through Craigslist.
Cory Trevor

F- caviar, but they might be on to something with the blinis. A vending machine with a viewing port that made hot fresh blinis/crepes/pancakes would be awesome, they’d sell like hotcakes!
- http://twitter.com/fossilfuels Funk Daddy
  
  … would they indeed sell like hotcakes, these hot cakes?
  - Cory Trevor
    
    Yeah, maybe they’d sell more like flapjacks or johnnybread. You’d have to price them right- perhaps three silver dollars for two regular ones.
- Jonathan Roberts
  
  You need to stop making glib remarks about cakes:
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JibxHpXqAfc
- Guest
  
  I don’t know, take the french fries vending machines, they are not too convincing.
blueelm

I totally don’t get it. Isn’t caviar more of a party food? But blinis. That’s genius.
cfuse

I’m pretty sure the final evolution of the vending machine is one that is loaded with caviar in one side and Japanese schoolgirl panties in the other.
- blueelm
  
  Caviar wrapped in used schoolgirl panties. I’m pretty sure there’s already a market for this.
10xor01

That settles it. From now on, all my panhandling will be done near these malls.
Ipo

Strange. Caviar is eaten as a garnish or spread. Eating it by the spoonful is nouveau riche, and like eating (very expensive) mayonnaise straight from the jar. To me at least.
Way too salty too.
- Guest
  
  It’s not much of a food, really, rather a (barely) edible item to demonstrate wealth.
SeekerLancer

You can’t blame them, who wants an unwashed poor person to hand their caviar to them. It’s disgusting, enough to make one lose their appetite. This way you don’t have to see the sadness in the eyes of the wait staff.
Michael DeGuzis

I bet these machines contain more cash than an ATM :)
- edkedz
  
  Yeah, I’m eagerly awaiting the story about one of these getting knocked over (as in getting broken into or hauled away entirely and stripped of their product and any cash, though I would be surprised if these weren’t card-only).
http://twitter.com/trempls tré

Disappear Here?
Gerald Mander

I really really really don’t miss living in Los Angeles.
rtresco

Caviar is so hot right now!
Phil Sundry

Relatively speaking (and I know this isn’t the point of the article), those malls aren’t really “upscale”. The Burbank Town Center is only a step or two above a dead mall with multiple knock-off “Earring Tree”-style stores and a bunch of seasonal (Halloween costumes shops, Christmas decorations) but otherwise abandoned storefronts.

The downmarket nature of these malls actually makes the presence of caviar vending machines that much more surreal. It’s like an art piece whose purpose is to make Los Angeles even more loathsome than it really is and that would be an incredible feat.
- http://twitter.com/cjporkchop cjporkchop
  
  I agree that the Burbank mall isn’t upscale, but the Westfield Topanga (in Woodland Hills/Canoga Park) is pretty darn upscale in parts. The fancy stores like Cartier and Louis Vuitton (sp? don’t care enough to look up) are grouped together, away from stuff like Hot Dog On A Stick or the We Buy Gold kiosk.
Frank Diekman

Caviar? In a vending machine? *drops monocle in astonishment*