Bible Firsts, by Charles L. Paddock

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39 Responses to “Bible Firsts, by Charles L. Paddock”

  1. Henry Pootel says:

    Feathers from tufted tits

  2. Navin_Johnson says:

    All this time it was Tarzan and Jane instead of “Adam & Eve”.

  3. Count Ulster says:

    Didn’t know Brylcreem was available in the stone age.

  4. jandrese says:

    An lo, God said, “Give them Product”, and he saw it was good.  

    I guess bad hair was another side effect of getting kicked out of the garden. 

  5. William Joseph Dunn says:

    She killed a Muppet for her frock. It could be either Grover or Cookie Monster. I can’t tell.

  6. Ricardo Torres de Acha says:

    Come on! Lapiz Lazuli + Wool = Blue Wool… you don’t even need a crafting table…

  7. GlenBlank says:

    Looks more like the Bronzer Age to me.

  8. Nell Anvoid says:

    Well, there’s a sure sign that our ancestors were tossed from the garden: look at those teeth. Pretty sure Dentists hadn’t yet emerged from the primordial slime.  Especially ironic if the garden was actually in England…

    (Easy there, Brits! You get a cornucopia of opportunities for cheap shots at us Yanks. Allow us once in a while.)

  9. Sagodjur says:

    Heck, it’s even biblically inaccurate. If that’s supposed to be Adam and Eve in the garden, they wouldn’t have had a kid yet. They didn’t have Cain, Abel, Seth, and the rest of the unnamed progeny until after the fall.

  10. Øyvind says:

    The only place I’ve seen that shade of blue in the wild, has been in old women’s hair. So I’m guessing there’s a bald bronze age grandma just out of shot.

  11. Ramone says:

    Of course Eve was blonde! And they look exceedingly gleeful for people who’ve just doomed all of humanity to a lifetime of Original Sin. Christ, what assholes!

  12. Nash Rambler says:

    So I guess the Garden of Eden was located in a west Malibu gated community or something.  That baby frightens me most of all.

  13. Funk Daddy says:

    Lush vegetation hides the dinosaurs. Lame.

  14. franko says:

    they did a good job downplaying adam’s nipple shot, too. (and btw, does the bible explain why adam had nips in the first place?)

  15. Lupus_Yonderboy says:

    So I read the title really quickly and I thought that it was “Bible Fists”. Man, I really want that to be a thing.

  16. Lee Brown says:

    Weird thing is I have this book at home from when I was a kid, plus several others from the same publisher.

  17. Whoa, who new that haircare was such a priority back then.

  18. CHilke says:

    Adam and Eve need Lebensraum

  19. pjcamp says:

    Aryan Adam and Eve on Yahweh’s golf course.

  20. sean says:

    LOVE that well-groomed look! “Brylcreem, a little dab’ll do ya, Brylcreem, you’ll look so debonair! Brylcreem, the girls’ll all go to ya, you’ll love the natural look it gives your hair…”

  21. feetleet says:

    I don’t know how to break this to you, Adam, but Eve seems to have been ribbed for someone else’s pleasure. Snake, you devil!

  22. Aeron says:

    Bibles first, historical accuracy second.

  23. Cassie Smith says:

    It’s Tom Cruise!

  24. apoxia says:

    I had this series of books as a child. Weird, I didn’t remember that until I saw this scan. It brought back some old memories!

  25. Will England says:

    Heh.  I went out of my way to buy the whole series just for the illustrations.  Cost me a pretty penny, but they are just something to behold.  Not good, but certainly something.

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