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This is the ugly Christmas sweater that defeated all the rest

Jamie Frevele at 1:22 pm Mon, Dec 10, 2012

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While you still won't be able to buy that Slayer Christmas sweater you've been wanting ever since you knew it existed, there is another equally hardcore option if you're still in need of something ugly and holiday-themed: the Home Alone sweater. Complete with prancing reindeer on the wearer's biceps and a healthy portion of snowflakes, no one will dare mess with a person wearing an ugly Christmas sweater that says, "Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal" on it. Especially if that person has been drinking all of the buttered rum. So, if you find yourself wearing this masterpiece of a garment at a gathering and someone tells you, "You know, that quote isn't technically from Home Alone -- it's from Angels With Filthy Souls," feel free to go Black Bart on them and treat them to a holiday mashup.

I'm kidding. Please do not start a fight in this sweater. Wear it in good health, and in the name of peace on Earth, good will towards men. It's available on the appropriately-named site, UglyChristmasSweater.com for $49.99. God bless us, everyone! (via I Heart Chaos)

When she isn't nerding out that the holidays are coming, Jamie is a reader at Monday Night Fan Fiction at Fontana's in Chinatown, NYC (next date: TBA, 7:00 PM). All work is original, written by the readers, so if you have a brilliant fanfic idea stuck in your head, send it via Twitter: @jamielikesthis

MORE:  A Christmas Story • holidays • Home Alone • ugly christmas sweaters

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  • http://twitter.com/honest_engine David Miller

    It’s cute, except it’s misquoting the movie. The line is, “Keep the change, ya filthy animal.”

    • http://vincenzoravina.tumblr.com/ Vincenzo Ravina

       See: Home Alone 2.

      • Brainspore

        I’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you.

    • http://vincenzoravina.tumblr.com/ Vincenzo Ravina

       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMW19scI2g0

  • BarBarSeven

    This is ugly. And I mean not ironically ugly or charming ugly.  Screw this sweater.

    • Boundegar

      I love it.  I would give it to my son for Xmas, except I don’t like to reference a movie I’ve never seen.  And I don’t want to see the movie.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KV3PDLBSUEJ3YCGEWYUGDQ664E Leo

    This is pretttty great. I especially love that hole in the pants right near the crotchal area.

  • gnp

    Reminds me Meryn Cadell’s poetry/song piece, The Sweater: “Now if the sweater has, like, reindeer on it, or is a funny colour like yellow — I’m sorry, you can’t get away with a sweater like that. Look for brown or grey or blue. Anything other than that and you know you’re dealing with someone who’s different.”

  • Brainspore

    Complete with prancing reindeer on the wearer’s biceps…

    [Striking bodybuilder pose] ”…ladies, meet ‘Donner’ and ‘Blitzen.’”

  • Shady Lane

    Put a log on the fire, slip into your favourite christmas sweater and head on over to http://www.christmasrewound.com to request real christmas music on a real record player.

  • cdh1971

    That’s gold, Jerry! GOLD!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=507894702 Adam Coe

    christmas sweater parties are so insanely past their prime…i mean, if you’re buying it from uglychristmassweaters.com, gimme a break…the whole point is that you went to a thrift store or raided your dad’s closet to FIND something, not spend 50 bucks on the internet for a sweater someone made intentionally ugly.

  • chgoliz

    Meh….I’ve worn worse.

    More than once.