Comments on: 76 things banned in the Bible, most of which are punishable by death

By: donovan acree

donovan acree — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 16:15:00 +0000

I don’t buy the slave angle. Yes, the Jews were in Egypt but there is exactly zero evidence that they were ever slaves.
As for as I can tell, the “Exodus” reads like a military campaign in many ways similar to the campaign of the Hyksos.

By: Donald Petersen

Donald Petersen — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 23:07:00 +0000

Yep. That verse just screams with editorializing.

By: IronEdithKidd

IronEdithKidd — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 20:35:00 +0000

Same god?

By: IronEdithKidd

IronEdithKidd — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 20:34:00 +0000

Shark might be OK, but could be understood to be unclean because it’s an apex preditor (note that the ban on eating critters with paws includes wolves and big cats, and the blanket ban on eating carrion birds). Sea snakes, once they make it to the ocean floor, crawl on their bellies, so, unclean.

Is there a rabbi in the house to clarify these rules???

By: Lupus_Yonderboy

Lupus_Yonderboy — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 20:30:00 +0000

Getting to the conversation kind of late but Jews/Muslims don’t eat pork for an entirely different reason than Hindus don’t eat beef – pork is “unclean’ (i.e. will make you sick, specifically trichinosis) whereas cows are “holy”. The supposition is that it relates back to survival via milk production and using waste to fertilize land – you can only eat a cow once but you can get milk & dung from one for a long period.

The not putting cheese on meat comes from a prohibition on boiling a baby goat in the milk of its mother, I’ve heard multiple reasons why that specifically was banned (because the act relates to a Cannanite ritual, because of cross-contamination & foodborne illness, that it’s a mistranslation and the *in the milk* is supposed to relate to being weaned off its mothers milk, i.e. you shouldn’t eat really young animals).

By: L_Mariachi

L_Mariachi — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 18:55:00 +0000

It says without fins OR scales. So sharks and sea snakes should both be kosher.

By: IronEdithKidd

IronEdithKidd — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 17:56:00 +0000

I was thinking the very same thing when I read the exerpt. However, they have a distinct lack of fin which still puts them in the “god hates” catagory.

By: Brainspore

Brainspore — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 17:40:00 +0000

Well, it would be a sin to spill the seed on the ground.

By: L_Mariachi

L_Mariachi — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 16:26:00 +0000

I don’t know how unambiguous the Hebrew word for “scales” is, but one might be able to argue that the chitinous exoskeletal plates of things like shrimp and lobster count as scales.

By: jandrese

jandrese — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 16:14:00 +0000

Oh yeah, you rebellious youth could be mean to foreigners and harvest all the way to the edge of your fields. Plus, you would have that one guy who insists on breaking the gay sex one.

By: ocker3

ocker3 — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 15:44:00 +0000

ah…

I had to read a Lot more of that bio, but I got your point. I’d forgotten about that marrying his brother thing!

By: IronEdithKidd

IronEdithKidd — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 15:19:00 +0000

It’s in there: “Eating – or touching the carcass of – any seafood without fins or scales (11:10-12)”

No worries, God always hated shrimp.

By: dbt

dbt — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 14:13:00 +0000

it’s the laws that are missing that are the most troubling. a lot of incest is banned, but if you’re in a sexual daddy/daughter relationship that’s just dandy. just don’t pimp her out.

By: Anna Christa

Anna Christa — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 14:07:00 +0000

you don’t need supersessionism, just look at how the two parties who are entering into the contract are specified and you’ll easily see to whom the terms of the contract apply and to whom they do not.

By: Anna Christa

Anna Christa — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 14:04:00 +0000

The list is still much shorter and less ridiculous than current modern legal codes in “free” countries.

By: NynjaSquirrel

NynjaSquirrel — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 13:40:00 +0000

Ahh, the calendar farce. You know – if all the believers in the world splitting and unleashing whichever pissed off demon/deity to come back to smite us, would just lock themselves away on a small island – maybe Pitcairn – and never return, the world would be a much smarter place.

By: retepslluerb

retepslluerb — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 13:38:00 +0000

Not for the general populace, but for the author of Deuteronomy 25:11, I suspect.

By: Christopher

Christopher — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 13:38:00 +0000

When I was in college we had something called The Purity Test, a 500-question list of various activities (mostly sexual, but it also included things like shoplifting) that was intended to determine how “pure” you were.

It wasn’t long before those of us who had copies of it started using it as a list of suggestions. I’m not sure why we never thought of using the Bible for the same thing.

By: ravenlunatick

ravenlunatick — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 13:37:00 +0000

I think if my eternal damnation was on the line, and I was a real Xtian, I’d be DARN worried about what rules I needed to follow. If God really meant no tattoos, I’d want to know for sure…
But I agree that the Bible is an interesting historical artifact…

By: retepslluerb

retepslluerb — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 13:36:00 +0000

Well, God created fire and rabbits, so they shouldn’t get mixed.

By: Christopher

Christopher — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 13:36:00 +0000

My favorite term for it is “the sweet Mayan ‘bye”.

By: Christopher

Christopher — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 13:30:00 +0000

Still one of my favorite jokes of all time: when Lenny Bruce’s aunt saw he’d gotten a tattoo she said, “You can’t be buried in a Jewish cemetery!” He said, “Don’t worry. When I die they can cut off the tattoo and bury it in a gentile cemetery.”

By: ravenlunatick

ravenlunatick — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 13:27:00 +0000

So will chickens. They’re are pretty disgusting… Sigh. *They’re are* It’s too early here…

By: Brie

Brie — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 10:58:00 +0000

Or it simply implies to swallow.

By: noah django

noah django — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 10:32:00 +0000

and that’s no jive.

By: NynjaSquirrel

NynjaSquirrel — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 10:32:00 +0000

Why, what’s happening before 2013 hits?

By: Mutley10G

Mutley10G — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 10:18:00 +0000

I’m no expert, but a lot of these rules look very similar to Islamic rules. Can anyone enlighten / flame my ignorance?

By: Beanolini

Beanolini — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 09:45:00 +0000

And if you prefer the New Testament, Robert Browning noted: There's a great text in Galatians Once you trip on it entails Twenty-nine distinct damnations One sure if another fails. Probably Galatians 5:19-5:21: Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

By: Dlo Burns

Dlo Burns — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 09:05:00 +0000

Pig will eat anything, like feces and other pigs. It’s pretty easy to see why they’re unclean.

By: Dlo Burns

Dlo Burns — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 09:01:00 +0000

I know the land thing is related to jubilee celebrations.