As is usually the case in times of unthinkable horror, The Onion just fucking nails it:
Despairing sources confirmed that the gunman, armed with a semiautomatic assault rifle—a fucking combat rifle, Jesus—walked into a classroom full of goddamned children where his mother was a teacher and, good God, if this is what the world is becoming, then how about we just pack it in and fucking give up, because this is no way to live.
I mean, honestly, all 315 million Americans confirmed.
“Well, I suppose we have to try to pick up the pieces and make some sort of sense of this tragedy and—you know what? Fuck it, I can’t do this,” said Connecticut resident Michael Zaleski, his remarks understandable given the circumstances, because, holy shit, what else can one say? “I’m sorry, but I can’t fucking do this. Can you? Can anyone?”
Fuck Everything, Nation Reports
'Just Illegalize Us Already,' Nation's Assault Weapons Beg
Report: It Okay To Spend Rest Of Day Curled In Fetal Position Under Desk
Right To Own Handheld Device That Shoots Deadly Metal Pellets At High Speed Worth All Of This
Americans can legally manufacture an assault rifle for personal use without registering it, so Daniel Crowninshield figured his paying customers could push the button to start his milling equipment and claim they made the AR-15 themselves. Feds disagreed.
Whoa. Check out this unboxing. You may want to skip a few minutes in. Previously: Unbelievable boy’s toy gun ad from 1964: “Johnny Seven OMA (One Man Army)”
Magdalena Cerdá and Garen Wintemute are epidemiological researchers with US Davis’s Violence Prevention Research Program; when they witnessed the Trump administration’s mass-deletion of publicly funded EPA research, they feared gun violence stats would be next.
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