Disney Princess Armored Backpack, with carbon nanotubes

This is a thing. It claims to be bulletproof: "The backpack can be quickly brought to the front as a shield or can serve as center of mass protection while fleeing the scene of the shooting." Apparently officially licensed by Disney. $300. There you go.

Ballistic Backpack | Amendment II (via Super Punch)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: Disney • Gadgets • guns • Kids

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The Snowden Principle

http://profiles.google.com/marc.k.mielke Marc Mielke

Everything’s better with nanotech. Even people. ESPECIALLY people.
- Florian Bösch
  
  Disneys carcinogenic bullet proof childrens backpack…
Kevin Pierce

To be used in combination with the “gang rush the shooter” strategy!

Megan McArdle Proposes The Worst Solution To Anything Ever
http://wonkette.com/493462/megan-mcardle-proposes-the-worst-solution-to-anything-ever#ydQQSUvcftQ8cVaA.99
- mccrum
  
  Christ, what an asshole.
- Navin_Johnson
  
  She’s horrible. In case anybody is curious as to what kind of background drives such idiocy:
  
  http://shameproject.com/profile/megan-mcardle/
Ashen Victor

America fuck yeah!
- Boundegar
  
  Really, isn’t $300 a small price to pay for the safety of /your/ little Disney princess?
Octavio Mendoza

I have doubts that this backpack won’t disintegrate three months into the school year as the regular Disney licensed backpacks are wont to do.
- Jorpho
  
  Indeed. $300 for fancy fabric doesn’t mean much if the zippers are crap and the straps readily rip.
oasisob1

Let’s make money off your fear.

In other news…
“Level II (.357 Magnum, .45, .40, 9mm) or Level IIIA (.44 Magnum, .357 SIG and below)”

I’m not sure, but those numbers don’t protect against high-powered rifles, do they?
- Stooge
  
  Shall I put you down for a couple of Disney Princess field dressings as well?
  - http://www.matthewpetty.com/ Matthew Petty
    
    http://www.amazon.com/Band-aid-Bandages-Disney-Mickey-20-Count/dp/B0043AT2CK
- bcsizemo
  
  Not much is going to stop a bullet when you are going for maximum penetration.’
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ew_jfj9798
- Mister44
  
  Soft body armor doesn’t stop rifle rounds. You need a hard plate that slips into the armor for that.
http://www.facebook.com/jay.yeman Jay Yeman

The backpack will be really effective when it’s hanging up in its cubbie.
planettom

Somebody stop those kids! They’re building a space elevator by stacking their backpacks!
- benher
  
  I hope those kids let us know when it’s done. I want to get the hell off this planet.
Heartfruit

I can’t help but think that a bullet proof backpack has to be heavy. (The website didn’t seem to have a weight). I have to believe the chances of your child suffering debilitating back damage from carrying too much weight at a young age is signification more then the chance the back pack will somehow save their life in the off chance that they are caught in a mass shooting.
- mccrum
  
  But why take the chance? WHY TAKE THE CHANCE!??!!!!111!!!
  
  After all, we need to think of the children.
  - http://www.nathanhornby.com/ Nathan Hornby
    
    Never forget.
- Ipo
  
  ”Bulletproof” does not have to be heavy. At all.
  - http://profiles.google.com/steve.nordquist Steve Nordquist
    
    “Yes.” Satin and washable tuille, please. Do tell how the kinetic energy is going to not destroy the childlike function of the fleshbag ostensibly booking it for home? (Magneto backstory? Toni Morrison anthology on the outer pack?) An educator intern could ostensibly build a Juggernaut Of +2 Princess Bags over desks and nap mats in Red Bull Time and wear that…policy permitting…while “enhanced interrogation” of the new resource officer checks out.
http://www.brainwavez.org/about/people/watson_mandy_j.html Mandy J Watson

The drop-down style choices are
* teen/adult
* boy
* girl

and unfortunately not Disney Princesses, black/grey, and Marvel’s Avengers.
- http://www.nathanhornby.com/ Nathan Hornby
  
  Even worse they genuinely give no other context.
  
  I say we get a bunch of people together to order a load and then send them all back complaining that they sent us the wrong one.
  
  “Yes I did select girl, but I wanted the Avengers backpack – I don’t understand your point”.
- nvlady
  
  The Avengers!? That is soooo last summer! What’s the new $300+ backpack the kids will want now? In order to protect, you gotta get ahead of the trends.
peregrinus

If this did some kind of Power Ranger suit thing, yes.

Is this invented by the PR team at the NRA? Did they market it like, on Saturday?
PhosPhorious

Ah, the market has responded to tragedy, without the need for pesky government regulation!

Which must be why I feel so queasy. . .
- SomeGuyNamedMark
  
  Hey, they have bulletproof Little Mermaid backpacks now so there is no need to interfere with my God-given right to a semi-auto assault rifle with an extra large clip of steel jacketed ammo.
Syn -

Good grief.
tomservojr

Are you sure this is licensed by Disney? Common sense suggests otherwise, but I guess you never know.
CHoldredge

I’d bet quite a bit that this company is buying existing, licensed backpacks and adding a panel of bulletproof fabric.

In which case, if I understand trademark law, they really owe Disney, Marvel, and Swissgear a disclaimer, to prevent this kind of confusion.
yadayada

Variation on an old theme: http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5584026

I think Colbert interviewed the guy, but I can’t find it anywhere.
http://www.tavie.com Tavie

Super depressed.
SomeGuyNamedMark

Childhood, a time for discovery, joy, family, and taking cover during shootings.
Aaron Nolen

There is zero chance this would stop a .223/5.56 bullet from 10 feet away – or even a hundred feet.
- Boundegar
  
  I dearly hope you haven’t tested this hypothesis on /your/ little Disney princess.
  - Aaron Nolen
    
    Not necessary for me to test – I’m not a doofus that has no understanding of the capabilities and limitations of firearms.
http://twitter.com/davidconnell David Connell

Related items: Unisex Centurion Tactical Vest
- http://www.brainwavez.org/about/people/watson_mandy_j.html Mandy J Watson
  
  I read that as “Unisex Unicorn Tactical Vest”. Even though it makes no sense I guess I really want one!
xzzy

Introducing JC Penny’s fall line of back to school clothing, corduroy with kevlar weave and button down shirts lined with quarter inch steel.
allotrope

Here’s a demonstration with a 9mm bullet fired a couple of feet away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQgUrjCZmZw

Here’s some stuff on the backpack itself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQDfZNM4vhA

I have no idea if they have a whole bulletproof blanket inside the Disney backpack, kinda doubt it if they sell for just 300 bucks. But if they can actually manufacture this stuff so incredibly cheaply then it won’t be long before the world’s armies are marching in bulletproof uniforms.
- Steve Miller
  
  Nearly took off his thumb with that knife, didn’t he?
- Brainspore
  
  As long as psychos only aim for the center of the backpack then the kids should be fine.
Jeremy Sebens

I’m confused.

If my understanding is correct, carbon nanotube materials are very, very strong in tension, but not so much in shear (just like carbon fiber). More importantly, toughness is not particularly impressive.

Seems like a silly material for energy absorption…
Brainspore

A few years ago my wife taught at an elementary school that responded to the threat of school shootings by forcing all children to buy transparent backpacks, the theory being that they wouldn’t be able to smuggle guns into school that way. So this bullshit backpack-based security measure has already been cancelled out by other bullshit backpack-based security measures.
http://deansli.st/ Dean Putney

Now available at Target!
- Brainspore
  
  *wince*
BijouxBoy

What a bizarre country.
http://twitter.com/ExplodingBlues Dee Dee

Oh, and you expect the kid to wear a bullet-proof whatever o a daily basis and not be affected at all by the stress of the perspective of being shot at. Let the kids spend their entire childhoods terrified, you know, that is surely the better way to stop violence.
- Brainspore
  
  I thought that was what all the metal detectors were for.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  If I had a child, I’d dress it in chainmail-kevlar. Which is one of the reasons that I won’t have any children. That and the fact that I’d name it Princess Cuddlemuffin. I know my psychological limits.
http://www.facebook.com/jay.yeman Jay Yeman

OK Suzie and Johnny. When the big bad man comes into your classroom with a gun, run to your cubbie, grab your magic backpack, and put it in front of you. Make sure you don’t get shot. Have a great day at school!
- Brainspore
  
  I suppose they’re at least as effective as those Hyrdrogen-Bomb-Proof desks schools used for duck-and-cover drills back in the ’50s.
  - Mister44
    
    I’ve owned desks from the 50s. They are built like tanks. I give them a fair shot of surviving an a-bomb ;o)
http://www.facebook.com/people/James-Agenbroad/100002463876063 James Agenbroad

Carbon nanotubes…as opposed to ballistic nylon like a normal backpack.
http://glitch.tl/ Michael Smith

This is very Snow Crash.
Atvaark

How could anything go wrong?
johnyaya

If you got a regular backpack and filled it with $300 worth of books would it stop a bullet?

How about $300 worth of Little Mermaid DVD’s?
- Gilbert Wham
  
  You can get a LOT of books for 300 [currency unit] if you shop around. Gonna be a big bag (and probably bullet-proof, aye).
Cowicide

Will this product come with a training DVD for the kids to watch?

Maybe they can use this quick guide I made in the meantime:

http://i.imgur.com/yx8De.jpg
MollyMaguire

I am going to design and market a personal mobile grounding rod, because getting shot in a mass shooting is apparently about as likely as getting hit by lightning.
artbyjcm

Crossing my fingers for Nintendo licensing this, and making a Hyrule Shield backpack, at which point I will buy one for myself.