Infomercial exercise machines are shit

You know those infomercial exercise machines? All junk.


  1. wow, really? hey, guess what else will blow your mind. I hear the sun might rise in the east tomorrow. also, apparently the pope is catholic! can you believe it??? just as surprising to me as that one time I found out that bears shit in the woods (most of the time). ok, i’m off to take a bath. I won’t bother changing out of my three piece suede suit though, pretty sure this water isn’t wet.

  2. Well yes. NSS. For me, “workouts” never work as I just can’t stand the the tedium if done alone, and worse, the instructors if done in groups.

    For me, the only exercise worth doing is something I enjoy for other reasons like a hike in the woods, a bike ride with friends along a beautiful route, kayaking around the gorgeous coast here, skiing in the mountains; or simply using a physical method of doing something that I have to do anyway like riding my bike to work and walking our dogs.

  3. I had a Soloflex and then one of its latter day rip-offs from the early 80s until c. 2000.  Add a few dumbbells and they make for a pretty good home workout.  Especially if you get one with a built-in stepper.  Of course, you have to actually use the thing.

    1. Antinous, the Soloflex is the best home exercise machine ever made due to its fitness for its ultimate purpose, that which all home exercise machines are really used for, as extra space to hang clothes from. A fine choice and a well thought out purchase.

        1.  “*Results not typical.”
          Speaking of typical, I wonder if requiring that the people in the infomercials for exercise machines be a *representative* sample of actual customers would affect sales :D

          1. Well, the models mostly stand around not sweating, and the typical customer will mostly stand around not sweating, too.  The similarities probably end there.

  4. Walking daily is enough to reap most of the health benefits of exercise. But that doesn’t include walking to the all-you-can-eat dessert bar.

    1. I read that in a John D. MacDonald novel.   Travis McGee was telling a client something like: “to get a body like this, you need to walk six hours a week.”   ‘The Green Ripper,’ I think it was.

      1.  My favorite is still Jack Reacher, who (according to Lee Child) got his perfect physique by digging out in-ground swimming pools by hand. Oh, and drinking several gallons of water a day.

  5. From the linked article:
    A number of Consumer Reports testers found that the Reformer actually offered a worthwhile workout, though the $250 price tag can be hard to overlook.

    So, expensive, but not junk.

    1.  “The Reformer”? Never heard of it, but then it is hard to hear over the sound of my Shake Weights… :-o

    1. The only thing funny about the shake weight is that the inventors are rolling in money because of it, mainly because it is a killer *gag* gift.

  6. Revolutionary workout, results guaranteed!!!

    Required equipment:
    • 1 barbell
    • some plates

    1. Put the plates on the bar.
    2. Pick it up.
    3. Put it down.
    4. Repeat.

    Go run a bit afterwards if you enjoy that kind of thing.

      1. Yeah, I was alluding to this commercial. Ironically, as far as effective training is concerned, the meathead is the smart one here.

  7. Today in hyperbolic BB headlines: three infomercial-hawked exercise machines constitutes “all” of them.

  8. These aren’t even money making machines — a $50 machine still costs these guys $15 or $20 in materials and the selling and other costs.  These machines are there to get you to call a toll free number so, once they’ve got you buying this thing, they can sell you a few other things while they’ve got your card already in the machine — a fitness subscription (Cost $3/Sales Price $9), a DVD ($1/$12), a yoga mat ($2/$15), shoe inserts ($0.60/$3), or whatever.  The money is all on the up sell.  If you call these guys and buy this, alone, they’ll be very disappointed in the salesman with whom you chatted.

  9. I love the juxtaposition of this post and the one after it, which has a youtube video with the representative still showing the words “No shit, Sherlock.”

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