Infomercial exercise machines are shit

You know those infomercial exercise machines? All junk.

43 Responses to “Infomercial exercise machines are shit”

  1. Fantome_NR says:

    wow, really? hey, guess what else will blow your mind. I hear the sun might rise in the east tomorrow. also, apparently the pope is catholic! can you believe it??? just as surprising to me as that one time I found out that bears shit in the woods (most of the time). ok, i’m off to take a bath. I won’t bother changing out of my three piece suede suit though, pretty sure this water isn’t wet.

  2. winkybb says:

    Well yes. NSS. For me, “workouts” never work as I just can’t stand the the tedium if done alone, and worse, the instructors if done in groups.

    For me, the only exercise worth doing is something I enjoy for other reasons like a hike in the woods, a bike ride with friends along a beautiful route, kayaking around the gorgeous coast here, skiing in the mountains; or simply using a physical method of doing something that I have to do anyway like riding my bike to work and walking our dogs.

  3. Antinous / Moderator says:

    I had a Soloflex and then one of its latter day rip-offs from the early 80s until c. 2000.  Add a few dumbbells and they make for a pretty good home workout.  Especially if you get one with a built-in stepper.  Of course, you have to actually use the thing.

    • Hegelian says:

      Antinous, the Soloflex is the best home exercise machine ever made due to its fitness for its ultimate purpose, that which all home exercise machines are really used for, as extra space to hang clothes from. A fine choice and a well thought out purchase.

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        I worked out every day for decades on them.

        *Results not typical.

        • Hegelian says:

           “*Results not typical.”
          Speaking of typical, I wonder if requiring that the people in the infomercials for exercise machines be a *representative* sample of actual customers would affect sales :D

          • Antinous / Moderator says:

            Well, the models mostly stand around not sweating, and the typical customer will mostly stand around not sweating, too.  The similarities probably end there.

  4. Jake0748 says:

    But.. but… Thighmaster. 

  5. Mitchell Glaser says:

    Walking daily is enough to reap most of the health benefits of exercise. But that doesn’t include walking to the all-you-can-eat dessert bar.

  6. Gerald Mander says:

    From the linked article:
    A number of Consumer Reports testers found that the Reformer actually offered a worthwhile workout, though the $250 price tag can be hard to overlook.

    So, expensive, but not junk.

  7. allenmcbride says:

    All, three, whatever.

  8. uglyredhonda says:


  9. I am Jacks complete lack of surprise.

  10. Lobster says:

    Does this make the Shake Weight more hilarious, or less?

  11. TheMudshark says:

    Revolutionary workout, results guaranteed!!!

    Required equipment:
    • 1 barbell
    • some plates

    1. Put the plates on the bar.
    2. Pick it up.
    3. Put it down.
    4. Repeat.

    Go run a bit afterwards if you enjoy that kind of thing.

  12. edthehippie says:

    i LIKE my bike !!

  13. Halloween_Jack says:

    Today in hyperbolic BB headlines: three infomercial-hawked exercise machines constitutes “all” of them.

  14. kongjie says:

    All of these work. But they’re not exercise machines, they’re money-making machines.

  15. Bevatron Repairman says:

    These aren’t even money making machines — a $50 machine still costs these guys $15 or $20 in materials and the selling and other costs.  These machines are there to get you to call a toll free number so, once they’ve got you buying this thing, they can sell you a few other things while they’ve got your card already in the machine — a fitness subscription (Cost $3/Sales Price $9), a DVD ($1/$12), a yoga mat ($2/$15), shoe inserts ($0.60/$3), or whatever.  The money is all on the up sell.  If you call these guys and buy this, alone, they’ll be very disappointed in the salesman with whom you chatted.

  16. Ken.C says:

    I love the juxtaposition of this post and the one after it, which has a youtube video with the representative still showing the words “No shit, Sherlock.”

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