You know those infomercial exercise machines? All junk.

  • Fantome_NR

    wow, really? hey, guess what else will blow your mind. I hear the sun might rise in the east tomorrow. also, apparently the pope is catholic! can you believe it??? just as surprising to me as that one time I found out that bears shit in the woods (most of the time). ok, i’m off to take a bath. I won’t bother changing out of my three piece suede suit though, pretty sure this water isn’t wet.

    • allenmcbride

      I hope the bath is unrelated to the bear discovery.

  • winkybb

    Well yes. NSS. For me, “workouts” never work as I just can’t stand the the tedium if done alone, and worse, the instructors if done in groups.

    For me, the only exercise worth doing is something I enjoy for other reasons like a hike in the woods, a bike ride with friends along a beautiful route, kayaking around the gorgeous coast here, skiing in the mountains; or simply using a physical method of doing something that I have to do anyway like riding my bike to work and walking our dogs.

    • Jake0748

      I would add… a hard-fought, yet friendly basketball game. 

      • C W

        Harder to do solo, of course.

  • Antinous / Moderator

    I had a Soloflex and then one of its latter day rip-offs from the early 80s until c. 2000.  Add a few dumbbells and they make for a pretty good home workout.  Especially if you get one with a built-in stepper.  Of course, you have to actually use the thing.

    • Hegelian

      Antinous, the Soloflex is the best home exercise machine ever made due to its fitness for its ultimate purpose, that which all home exercise machines are really used for, as extra space to hang clothes from. A fine choice and a well thought out purchase.

      • Antinous / Moderator

        I worked out every day for decades on them.

        *Results not typical.

        • Hegelian

           ”*Results not typical.”
          Speaking of typical, I wonder if requiring that the people in the infomercials for exercise machines be a *representative* sample of actual customers would affect sales :D

          • Antinous / Moderator

            Well, the models mostly stand around not sweating, and the typical customer will mostly stand around not sweating, too.  The similarities probably end there.

  • Jake0748

    But.. but… Thighmaster. 

    • Antinous / Moderator

      I run into her at Trader Joe’s occasionally.

      • That_Anonymous_Coward

        Please get a larger car and try try try again…
        :D

  • Mitchell Glaser

    Walking daily is enough to reap most of the health benefits of exercise. But that doesn’t include walking to the all-you-can-eat dessert bar.

    • millie fink

      Walking doesn’t do much for cardio and upper-body strength.

      • TheOven

        Walk on your hands. 

        • Antinous / Moderator

          That’ll keep your hamstrings and calves stretched out.

        • cdh1971

           I wanna see you poop. Poop For Me, It’ll Be Cool.

    • Stjohn

      I read that in a John D. MacDonald novel.   Travis McGee was telling a client something like: “to get a body like this, you need to walk six hours a week.”   ‘The Green Ripper,’ I think it was.

      • Halloween_Jack

         My favorite is still Jack Reacher, who (according to Lee Child) got his perfect physique by digging out in-ground swimming pools by hand. Oh, and drinking several gallons of water a day.

  • Gerald Mander

    From the linked article:
    A number of Consumer Reports testers found that the Reformer actually offered a worthwhile workout, though the $250 price tag can be hard to overlook.

    So, expensive, but not junk.

    • Hegelian

       ”The Reformer”? Never heard of it, but then it is hard to hear over the sound of my Shake Weights… :-o

  • allenmcbride

    All, three, whatever.

  • uglyredhonda

    YOU CAN DO IIIIIT.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gijs-Peetsold/100000380468783 Gijs Peetsold

    I am Jacks complete lack of surprise.

  • Lobster

    Does this make the Shake Weight more hilarious, or less?

    • oasisob1

      The only thing funny about the shake weight is that the inventors are rolling in money because of it, mainly because it is a killer *gag* gift.

    • IronEdithKidd

      Absolutely nothing in the universe can make Shake Weight *less* hilarious.

      • Antinous / Moderator

        Has anyone told Hitler yet that Shake Weight doesn’t really work?

        • IronEdithKidd

          Make it so! 

          (Not even Godwin diminishes the hilarity of that ridiculous contraption.)

  • TheMudshark

    Revolutionary workout, results guaranteed!!!

    Required equipment:
    • 1 barbell
    • some plates

    1. Put the plates on the bar.
    2. Pick it up.
    3. Put it down.
    4. Repeat.

    Go run a bit afterwards if you enjoy that kind of thing.

    • Chuck

       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOSeOieLh7s

      • That_Anonymous_Coward

        And that is how gay porn stars break into mainstream media…

      • TheMudshark

        Yeah, I was alluding to this commercial. Ironically, as far as effective training is concerned, the meathead is the smart one here.

  • edthehippie

    i LIKE my bike !!

  • Halloween_Jack

    Today in hyperbolic BB headlines: three infomercial-hawked exercise machines constitutes “all” of them.

    • C W

      We’ll wait for you to enumerate all the rest of the current informercial successes.

  • kongjie

    All of these work. But they’re not exercise machines, they’re money-making machines.

  • Bevatron Repairman

    These aren’t even money making machines — a $50 machine still costs these guys $15 or $20 in materials and the selling and other costs.  These machines are there to get you to call a toll free number so, once they’ve got you buying this thing, they can sell you a few other things while they’ve got your card already in the machine — a fitness subscription (Cost $3/Sales Price $9), a DVD ($1/$12), a yoga mat ($2/$15), shoe inserts ($0.60/$3), or whatever.  The money is all on the up sell.  If you call these guys and buy this, alone, they’ll be very disappointed in the salesman with whom you chatted.

  • jimh
  • Ken.C

    I love the juxtaposition of this post and the one after it, which has a youtube video with the representative still showing the words “No shit, Sherlock.”