You're only as old as your hair

Life, 1971 Vol. 71, No. 24.
I Love Old Magazines (Via Mostly Forbidden Zone)

Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.

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Tenso
http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Forposting/100002531076048 Justin Forposting

well then I stopped aging years ago.
- Florian Bösch
  
  And I’m pretty near the grave with a solid onset of grey at age 35. I think it runs in the family, both my mother and brother had a lot of grey hair by age 30.
http://newnumber6.livejournal.com Peter

So what happens if he’s completely bald?
- http://twitter.com/fossilfuels Funk Daddy
  
  Back then?
  
  He’d resort to sporting lollipops, sunglasses and frequently intoning the phrase “Who loves ya, baby?”
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    In earlier times, he would have squeezed his pecs together and said, “So let it be written; so let it be done.”
http://twitter.com/fossilfuels Funk Daddy

What the…? Pictorial evidence of the age of Trump’s hairpiece?

You would think after 42 years he would buy another.
- That_Anonymous_Coward
  
  PETA keeps close tabs on him and keeps him away from cats.
- http://twitter.com/chriscoreline chris coreline
  
  you know your past it when your *toupee* starts to go grey.
http://blog.doomsdayzen.com agonist

The 70′s were a magical time when all it took to turn on the ladies was young-looking hair and the ability to use a telephone.
BunnyShank

The younger your hair, the more likely you’ll be photo bombed.
zombiebob

So if my secretary is unattractive and interested in me I should just dye my hair silver.
oasisob1

Two blades, people. Two!

http://iloveoldmagazines.tumblr.com/post/38796727838/life-1971-vol-71-no-24
- Ripcord2
  
  Thank goodness researchers worked tirelessly around the clock for years and we’ve been able to improve our blade technology to 4 blades. Those were desperate times, those 2-blade days. Desperate times.
  - oasisob1
    
    You’re out of date by two blades…
    
    http://www.target.com/p/titan-6-blade-all-in-one-razor-3-pk/-/A-11078732
    
    We live in amazing times!
    - http://twitter.com/beep54orama B E Pratt
      
      Holy crap!!
Paul English

The Smoking Man does hairpiece ads?
- jimh
  
  That is absolutely the smoking man!
- Michael Slater
  
  Damn, you beat me to it!
kartwaffles

I don’t get it. Her hair looks the same in each picture.
rattypilgrim

When his hair was at its darkest the man is pictured engaged in what looks like an important call. By the time his hair is all grey he’s bent over and staring blankly at some also blank looking papers. How subtle. Also, the sec. looks kind of suspicious. What’s in that brew?
- Jonathan Roberts
  
  I think she’s one of those weeping angels from Dr. Who.
jim_huckland

Stephen Harper?
That_Anonymous_Coward

The Secretary of Dorian Gray?
The younger he appears the closer she has to be… this will end poorly
- http://twitter.com/chriscoreline chris coreline
  
  best internet of the Christmas season.
timquinn

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear
salsaman

Wait we’re missing the last frame where he has a moustache and the secretary’s in his lap!
- cellocgw
  
  If he has a moustache, shouldn’t she be, ahem, somewhere else?
chgoliz

“You’re only as old as your hair.”

So….less than seven years old?
http://www.geekforce.com Hugh Johnson

No play for Mr. Gray!
Halloween_Jack

Chicks dig Rod Blagojevich! Alternatively: anyone else reminded of Barlow, the vampire in ‘Salem’s Lot (the book, not the movie), whose hair started out white-grey and got darker as he got more victims?
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Didn’t Dracula (in the book) have the same effect?
  - Halloween_Jack
    
    Maybe? It’s been too long since I read it. (I probably should.)
  - http://twitter.com/beep54orama B E Pratt
    
    I don’t think so. Dracula always seemed to have plenty of victims.
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      Then there was the sound of rattling chains and the clanking of massive bolts drawn back. A key was turned with the loud grating noise of long disuse, and the great door swung back.
      
      Within, stood a tall old man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him anywhere…..
      
      …..The great box was in the same place, close against the wall, but the lid was laid on it, not fastened down, but with the nails ready in their places to be hammered home.
      
      I knew I must reach the body for the key, so I raised the lid, and laid it back against the wall. And then I saw something which filled my very soul with horror. There lay the Count, but looking as if his youth had been half restored. For the white hair and moustache were changed to dark iron-grey. The cheeks were fuller, and the white skin seemed ruby-red underneath. The mouth was redder than ever, for on the lips were gouts of fresh blood, which trickled from the corners of the mouth and ran down over the chin and neck. Even the deep, burning eyes seemed set amongst swollen flesh, for the lids and pouches underneath were bloated. It seemed as if the whole awful creature were simply gorged with blood. He lay like a filthy leech, exhausted with his repletion.
FellOnEarth

Surgeon General’s Warning: Talking on the phone and drinking coffee may cause hair to darken and secretaries to rise, mysteriously approach and genuflect.
http://twitter.com/ErnestValdemar Ernest Valdemar

I’m holding out for panel 8, where the businessman is reduced to a helpless infant, and the secretary is revealed to be a looming, vampiric, Satanic cultist with a ceremonial dagger and a thirst for blood.

Panel 1: “I can’t believe I used that hair tonic Marsha gave me! I’m such a fool! Stuff and nonsense!”

Panel 2: “Jim, I tell you, I’ve never felt more alive! I don’t know what Marsha puts in her grandmother’s hair tonic, but it’s worth it!”

Panel 3: “This hair tonic doesn’t just revitalize my hair, it’s also delicious! Say, Marsha, why don’t we go out for cocktails after work, just you and me?”

Panel 4: “Jim? It’s Dick. I’m getting worried! This morning my voice cracked at the train station, and my skin is starting to break out! I think it may be this infernal potion Marsha’s been feeding me!”

Panel 5: “Accounts payable? Payroll? I dunno know what to do! Can you help me, pretty lady?”

Panel 6: “Aww, I don’t wanna do no work! I just wanna play ball with the guys! Can I have some more tonic?”

Panel 7: “The ducky goes quack! The cow goes moo! The ‘phone goes BRRRINGGGG! The IBM tabulator goes clickety-clack!”

Panel 8: “Goo-goo-gah-gah!” Marsha: “Eternal life will be mine, Lord Satan! See the quivering babe! I plunge the dagger and — ” Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
http://narrowstreetsla.blogspot.com David Yoon

Goddamn look at that tight ass headline kerning.
- http://twitter.com/chriscoreline chris coreline
  
  spectacular font also. I bet it came in a brown box.
http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb

Judging by the secretary in this ad, the “Soon” meme is much older than previously thought.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/soon
timquinn

The only logical explanation is that she is his mother.