You're only as old as your hair

Life, 1971 Vol. 71, No. 24.
I Love Old Magazines (Via Mostly Forbidden Zone)


    1. And I’m pretty near the grave with a solid onset of grey at age 35. I think it runs in the family, both my mother and brother had a lot of grey hair by age 30.

      1. In earlier times, he would have squeezed his pecs together and said, “So let it be written; so let it be done.”

    1. Thank goodness researchers worked tirelessly around the clock for years and we’ve been able to improve our blade technology to 4 blades.  Those were desperate times, those 2-blade days.  Desperate times.

  1. When his hair was at its darkest the man is pictured engaged in what looks like an important call. By the time his hair is all grey he’s bent over and staring blankly at some also blank looking papers. How subtle. Also, the sec. looks kind of suspicious. What’s in that brew?

  2. The Secretary of Dorian Gray?
    The younger he appears the closer she has to be… this will end poorly

  3. Chicks dig Rod Blagojevich! Alternatively: anyone else reminded of Barlow, the vampire in ‘Salem’s Lot (the book, not the movie), whose hair started out white-grey and got darker as he got more victims?

        1. Then there was the sound of rattling chains and the clanking of massive bolts drawn back. A key was turned with the loud grating noise of long disuse, and the great door swung back.

          Within, stood a tall old man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him anywhere…..

          …..The great box was in the same place, close against the wall, but the lid was laid on it, not fastened down, but with the nails ready in their places to be hammered home.

          I knew I must reach the body for the key, so I raised the lid, and laid it back against the wall. And then I saw something which filled my very soul with horror. There lay the Count, but looking as if his youth had been half restored. For the white hair and moustache were changed to dark iron-grey. The cheeks were fuller, and the white skin seemed ruby-red underneath. The mouth was redder than ever, for on the lips were gouts of fresh blood, which trickled from the corners of the mouth and ran down over the chin and neck. Even the deep, burning eyes seemed set amongst swollen flesh, for the lids and pouches underneath were bloated. It seemed as if the whole awful creature were simply gorged with blood. He lay like a filthy leech, exhausted with his repletion.

  4. Surgeon General’s Warning:  Talking on the phone and drinking coffee may cause hair to darken and secretaries to rise, mysteriously approach and genuflect.

  5. I’m holding out for panel 8, where the businessman is reduced to a helpless infant, and the secretary is revealed to be a looming, vampiric, Satanic cultist with a ceremonial dagger and a thirst for blood.

    Panel 1: “I can’t believe I used that hair tonic Marsha gave me! I’m such a fool! Stuff and nonsense!”

    Panel 2: “Jim, I tell you, I’ve never felt more alive! I don’t know what Marsha puts in her grandmother’s hair tonic, but it’s worth it!”

    Panel 3: “This hair tonic doesn’t just revitalize my hair, it’s also delicious! Say, Marsha, why don’t we go out for cocktails after work, just you and me?”

    Panel 4: “Jim? It’s Dick. I’m getting worried! This morning my voice cracked at the train station, and my skin is starting to break out! I think it may be this infernal potion Marsha’s been feeding me!”

    Panel 5: “Accounts payable? Payroll? I dunno know what to do! Can you help me, pretty lady?”

    Panel 6: “Aww, I don’t wanna do no work! I just wanna play ball with the guys! Can I have some more tonic?”

    Panel 7: “The ducky goes quack! The cow goes moo! The ‘phone goes BRRRINGGGG! The IBM tabulator goes clickety-clack!”

    Panel 8: “Goo-goo-gah-gah!” Marsha: “Eternal life will be mine, Lord Satan! See the quivering babe! I plunge the dagger and — ” Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

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