You're only as old as your hair


41 Responses to “You're only as old as your hair”

  1. HammerheadFistpunch says:


  2. well then I stopped aging years ago.

    • Florian Bösch says:

      And I’m pretty near the grave with a solid onset of grey at age 35. I think it runs in the family, both my mother and brother had a lot of grey hair by age 30.

  3. Peter says:

    So what happens if he’s completely bald?

  4. Funk Daddy says:

    What the…? Pictorial evidence of the age of Trump’s hairpiece? 

    You would think after 42 years he would buy another.

  5. agonist says:

    The 70′s were a magical time when all it took to turn on the ladies was young-looking hair and the ability to use a telephone.

  6. BunnyShank says:

    The younger your hair, the more likely you’ll be photo bombed.

  7. zombiebob says:

    So if my secretary is unattractive and interested in me I should just  dye my hair silver.

  8. Paul English says:

    The Smoking Man does hairpiece ads?

  9. kartwaffles says:

    I don’t get it. Her hair looks the same in each picture.

  10. rattypilgrim says:

    When his hair was at its darkest the man is pictured engaged in what looks like an important call. By the time his hair is all grey he’s bent over and staring blankly at some also blank looking papers. How subtle. Also, the sec. looks kind of suspicious. What’s in that brew?

  11. jim_huckland says:

    Stephen Harper?

  12. That_Anonymous_Coward says:

    The Secretary of Dorian Gray?
    The younger he appears the closer she has to be… this will end poorly

  13. timquinn says:

    Objects in mirror are closer than they appear

  14. salsaman says:

    Wait we’re missing the last frame where he has a moustache and the secretary’s in his lap!

  15. chgoliz says:

    “You’re only as old as your hair.”

    So….less than seven years old?

  16. Hugh Johnson says:

    No play for Mr. Gray!

  17. Halloween_Jack says:

    Chicks dig Rod Blagojevich! Alternatively: anyone else reminded of Barlow, the vampire in ‘Salem’s Lot (the book, not the movie), whose hair started out white-grey and got darker as he got more victims?

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      Didn’t Dracula (in the book) have the same effect?

      • Halloween_Jack says:

        Maybe? It’s been too long since I read it. (I probably should.)

      • B E Pratt says:

         I don’t think so. Dracula always seemed to have plenty of victims.

        • Antinous / Moderator says:

          Then there was the sound of rattling chains and the clanking of massive bolts drawn back. A key was turned with the loud grating noise of long disuse, and the great door swung back.

          Within, stood a tall old man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him anywhere…..

          …..The great box was in the same place, close against the wall, but the lid was laid on it, not fastened down, but with the nails ready in their places to be hammered home.

          I knew I must reach the body for the key, so I raised the lid, and laid it back against the wall. And then I saw something which filled my very soul with horror. There lay the Count, but looking as if his youth had been half restored. For the white hair and moustache were changed to dark iron-grey. The cheeks were fuller, and the white skin seemed ruby-red underneath. The mouth was redder than ever, for on the lips were gouts of fresh blood, which trickled from the corners of the mouth and ran down over the chin and neck. Even the deep, burning eyes seemed set amongst swollen flesh, for the lids and pouches underneath were bloated. It seemed as if the whole awful creature were simply gorged with blood. He lay like a filthy leech, exhausted with his repletion.

  18. FellOnEarth says:

    Surgeon General’s Warning:  Talking on the phone and drinking coffee may cause hair to darken and secretaries to rise, mysteriously approach and genuflect.

  19. I’m holding out for panel 8, where the businessman is reduced to a helpless infant, and the secretary is revealed to be a looming, vampiric, Satanic cultist with a ceremonial dagger and a thirst for blood.

    Panel 1: “I can’t believe I used that hair tonic Marsha gave me! I’m such a fool! Stuff and nonsense!”

    Panel 2: “Jim, I tell you, I’ve never felt more alive! I don’t know what Marsha puts in her grandmother’s hair tonic, but it’s worth it!”

    Panel 3: “This hair tonic doesn’t just revitalize my hair, it’s also delicious! Say, Marsha, why don’t we go out for cocktails after work, just you and me?”

    Panel 4: “Jim? It’s Dick. I’m getting worried! This morning my voice cracked at the train station, and my skin is starting to break out! I think it may be this infernal potion Marsha’s been feeding me!”

    Panel 5: “Accounts payable? Payroll? I dunno know what to do! Can you help me, pretty lady?”

    Panel 6: “Aww, I don’t wanna do no work! I just wanna play ball with the guys! Can I have some more tonic?”

    Panel 7: “The ducky goes quack! The cow goes moo! The ‘phone goes BRRRINGGGG! The IBM tabulator goes clickety-clack!”

    Panel 8: “Goo-goo-gah-gah!” Marsha: “Eternal life will be mine, Lord Satan! See the quivering babe! I plunge the dagger and — ” Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

  20. David Yoon says:

    Goddamn look at that tight ass headline kerning.

  21. Deidzoeb says:

    Judging by the secretary in this ad, the “Soon” meme is much older than previously thought.

  22. timquinn says:

    The only logical explanation is that she is his mother.

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