But this is so far from my usually territory I really don’t want to use any word more than “suspicious” for fault of sounding like a moron/fanboy.

The first two pages were extremely informative, though. Chilling read.

Same thing happened when I had a major wound on my face. I’m sure they thought I was under. I could feel them putting the staples/stitches into the wound but my face was covered up (I was a small child during this one) with a blue cloth with a hole over the injury. I sat perfectly still because the last thing I remembered was my parents fighting, blood everywhere, and my father saying “you used to be pretty!!! You’re going to be a monster!!!” and generally flipping out. I could feel a tooth falling out and my mouth wouldn’t move. “OMG you used to be pretty!!!!” So I was afraid if I moved the doctor wouldn’t be able to fix me and I’d be a monster.

Again I don’t remember pain, but instead I remember that whatever they did to staple the wound made blood shoot into my mouth and I was surprised how good it tasted. Kind of like baking soda.

So… maybe these things are more disturbing than helpful, and maybe I have such PTSD that I wouldn’t know one PTSD trigger from another… but it’s not the horror that it is always made out to be. 

Usually you know you wake up because it’s happened before. Now I know just to alert the doctors (assuming I’m going in for surgery) that it could happen and to be prepared just in case.

*Adding: to me it is way too fascinating to be that traumatic. How many chances to you get to see the inside of your own bone, or to see what surgery looks like. Personally, if they could keep me awake but stop all pain I’d be totally for that just so I could enjoy the show. (Brain surgery FTW on that one I guess) Maybe I’m a little dissociated because to me it is just too damned interesting and I can’t remember any pain.

But everyone is pretty much right. If it has not ever happened to you it probably NEVER will.

Xeni, this isn’t your first time at the rodeo, if it hasn’t happened to you yet, it probably won’t happen this time, either.  May you have smooth sailing tomorrow and a zippy recovery.

Had surgery last month after managing to shatter my right humerus.  Don’t remember the surgery at all.  The post-surgical pain has been… awkward at points.  (When they discharge you, why do they tell you to make a follow-up appointment for three weeks ahead, but only give you an Rx for a week’s worth of painkillers?)

But I do have to remark that it totally hurt a lot. I told the nurse attending me that it hurt – I was quite polite about it – and she said, “I’m starting pain control now.” And she must have been – I can’t say I remember anything else for an hour or so afterwards. 

When I had a follow-up surgery, I told the anesthesiologist what had happened (so it wouldn’t happen again) and he said, “It’s ok, you don’t remember things like that.” I thought that was an odd thing to say, but at least I didn’t wake up during that surgery.

I had to prep for yet another one later and I told the doctor about previously waking up before pain control. He said, “It’s okay, you don’t remember things like that.”  

What? It must be some sort of mantra they learn in medical school. Whether it’s to reassure me or them, I’m not sure. I do remember it in detail, I can assure you. But it happened to me a long time ago, so it seems like it happened to someone else, and I don’t flinch when I think about it, so maybe that’s what they mean by ‘not remembering’. 

Having said all that, good luck Xeni. I’m sure it’ll go better for you.

OK… they cover something like that later in the Atlantic article. It’s definitely a rewarding read.

Happily it was a rare occurrence then and even rarer now. 

Xeni, I am sure many will be thinking of you tomorrow. Your online family cherishes you.

My thoughts are with you Xeni!  (And take some comfort in the fact that surgery is actually where modern medicine excels)

I would definitely talk to your anesthesiologist about this tomorrow — I’m sure you’re not the first person to ask. Ask them what they look for in terms of signs of consciousness, ask them what they do to prevent their patients from waking up on the table, basically just air your concerns and see what their answers are. At least for me, knowing that they’re aware of this and that they’ve thought about it would make me feel a bit better.