Fred Willard avoids going to trial following his lewdness arrest in July

After getting caught in the act -- specifically, the act of masturbating at Hollywood's Tiki Theater (for adults) -- Fred Willard has avoided trial after completing a "diversion program for minor sexual offenses" in September. I'm going to pretend that this program was conducted by a Christopher Guest character to make this story extra fun, now that it looks like it's over. (via Huffington Post)

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  1. At least we know the children are safe.

    Also… I don’t frequent those theaters, but isn’t it a given that everyone is masturbating there?  If patrons have a problem with it… 
    1. don’t go
    2. Internet
    3. Dress like you are going to a Gallagher show.

    1. Nick Stahl was recently busted for jerking off in a private booth in an adult movie shop in Hollywood.  Thank God the LAPD is keeping us safe.

        1. I thought that we had been safe from Nick Stahl movies for a few years, but I checked his IMDb page and he’s been pretty busy. Seems like I’m working my way into that happy parallel universe pretty effectively.

    1. F-dog kicks it old school.  The mechanical turk that holds his erotic daguerreotypes was in the shop for a blown cog, so Fredward was left in the lurch, so to speak.

      Papyrus.

  2. If they don’t want that sort of thing happening in their theatre then they should show the Hobbit instead.
    Other complaints against Willard have been:-Drinking in a bar. swimming in a swimming pool. Eating in a restaurant…

    1. If they don’t want that sort of thing happening in their theatre then they should show the Hobbit instead

      After having encountered LOTR fanfic, I’m not so sure…

    2. If they don’t want that sort of thing happening in their theatre then they should show the Hobbit instead.

      You’re joking, right?

  3. I for one am just glad the violent crime level in LA is so low that the police have the time to waste patrolling for people masturbating in a porn theater.  

  4. Since Paul Reubens’ arrest  for masturbating in a porn theater occurred in the last century, does this qualify, at least so far, as “The Crime of the Millenium”?

  5. I think that there are three porn theaters left in the country, and on almost any given day everyone in the theater is a cop who really, really needs to fill their ticket quota.

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