By Maggie Koerth-Baker at 11:38 am Fri, Jan 4, 2013
Okay, which of you all just got busted for smuggling narwhal tusks? Fess up. It was either one of you, somebody from Reddit, or both, right?
Image: N is for narwhal - finished, a Creative Commons Attribution (2.0) image from notahipster's photostream
Redditors love narwhals, they would never kill them for tusks. Gotta be digg.
People who hunt narwhals are sea-unicorn chasers?
I don’t know; why don’t you goa tse?
This is a serious problem for animals that most likely deserve a ‘threatened’ listing.
Narwhals were never overfished – too small, and only live above the arctic circle…
If overfishing were the only threat to their survival you’d have a point. Their small range, preferred diet and habitat and other factors put them in a very precarious position. They will very likely be listed as threatened in the next few years.
Yes, they are covered by CITES, so they are considered to be “endangered species” in legal terms, at least.
It wasn’t me. I learned my lesson when I was busted for selling artificial powdered Barry Manilow nose to aliens as an aphrodisiac.
That is NOT a narwhal in my pocket. I’m just happy to see you.
Well, you can’t say “predator” without saying “redditor.”
If I had a Narwhal I’d call him Andy. Andy Narwhal.
Nah, it’d only be a redditor if there was bacon involved.
And time constraints.
I have two (very legal) narwhal tusks.
So who will be the first to hook up a LulzBot to an adjustable-height table with an arduino and start cranking out printable tusks?
How could a ring of teeth not involve a series of tubes? Sure you could open an airport bar with a narwhal theme and try to grow them from seed tissue, occasionally making toothpaste ads (is freezing saltwater brine making your teeth…sparkly purple? Well, we have the thing) but there’s no guaranteeing you make luxist regularly. FWIW: So, the USA has them on the Endangered list, just yet, and that’s why the trade was a crime.
Narwhals, they stop Cthulhu eating ye.
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