Chainmail running shoes

For reasons I'm not entirely clear on, Paleos sells a chainmail "barefoot" running shoe:

Delinda is not a shoe, it's a piece of jewelry! Suitable for strolling, hiking and walking on natural surfaces in, around and in waters. Order your PaleoBarefoots Delinda, the lightest among our Barefoot. A minimalist running shoe for grounding and light activities on natural grown grounds. Get undivided attention of friends and people around you - and have fun!

Welcome to the Paleos Online Store!


  1. At a guess, I’d say it’s so that you can stand on coral without it cutting your feet (coral is sharp as hell, and cuts get infected really quickly.) 

    1. That would make sense. I forget the names, but I know some divers have tested chainmail suits to protect them from shark bites. This would be a small scale application of the same principle to solve a problem people just walking in the water or on the beach are more likely to encounter.

      1. some divers have tested chainmail suits to protect them from shark bites.

        Did it work?
        Yes! His ribcage is broken and all his internal organs are ruptured, but it didn’t break the skin.

        1. Funny enough I wondered the same thing. But as I recall the diver’s biggest problem was that a shark bit her air hose, which wasn’t covered in chainmail.

          And then of course there’s Robert Schimmel’s line: “If a shark is bothering you just punch it in the nose. And if that doesn’t work you can poke it in the eye with your bloody stump.”

          1.  I think her biggest problem was a husband who used her for a shark suit test subject.  Or her willingness to comply, anyway.

            Do you remember that Far Side cartoon where the dog is looking in his sandwich and thinking “another chicken bone – I wonder if she’s trying to kill me?”

  2. I had an insomniac college roommate who’d stay up all night making chain mail shirts from bed springs. I wonder if he’s now put his skills toward making these shoes.

  3. Just what I need! A pair of shoes that will protect me from a medieval sword attack but not from ordinary things I might step on like nails. Chainmail is not so effective against sharp and narrow pointy things.

  4. At least they’re not those glove/shoes with individual toes. Walking around with 2 feet of maille toe-wedgies cannot possibly feel good.

  5. Not good against the crap one gets in the sand at Coney Island, like broken glass and discarded needles.

    1. Magnesium sabatons!  I’m sure I know people that can do that for you.

      In fact screw magnesium, get Peter over at North Star Armory to make you some articulated spring steel sabots with rolled edges.  They’d be like ultralight, nearly invulnerable little ovens for your feet!  Except in winter, then they’d be little iceboxes.

    1. IIRC,these really bear an uncanny resemblance to Mel’s prophylactic in a kinda gross scene in the way over-priced  “Platinum Edition” of the director’s cut, only way, way too big assuming the lady model has an average sized foot.

  6. Geez, everyone here is so practical. 

    As the ad says, you should buy these so you can “Get undivided attention of friends and people around you.” Weeeeeee! 

    Sensible shoes, don’tcha know, are for dweebs who realize that these chainmail slipper things would be probably more trouble than getting all that undivided attention is worth.

  7. Speaking as a maillemaker, these are badly designed and poorly implemented. Wearing them without socks is going to result in chafing from the lacing points as well as the potential for burns from heat transmission. If you want chausses, let me know. These slippers aren’t meant to be taken seriously.

    1. You mailled it, chausses, or going unshod is likely better, more practical, than these, likely overpriced, things.

  8. “If you find yourself in the middle of a sudden thunder storm remove your PaleoBarefootsDelinda running shoes as quickly as possible. PaleoBarefoots is not responsible for any lightening strikes incurred by the wearer”.

  9. People here seem to skip the part where it say’s “these are not shoes; they’re jewelry.” They’re for getting ooohs and aaawws.

  10. The rep: OMFG you will not bur-lieve what I’ve sourced. Behold…tada!
    The retailer: [skeptical] are you…sure?
    The rep: Totally! Its like, totally natural, barefoot and good for your feet.
    The retailer: whats the catch? 
    The rep: machine-linked metal is waaay cheaper than hand made leather. Unit cost? 20 bucks. Retail? Anything.You.Want.
    The retailer: Ok, stick me for a case of twenty, diamond-spread. 

Comments are closed.