"Catacombo" coffin offers surround sound


16 Responses to “"Catacombo" coffin offers surround sound”

  1. atteSmythe says:

    Clearly aimed at the vampire demographic.

  2. 10xor01 says:

    Who could ask for more?

    • beepbeep says:

       I think I’d rather have a telephone. That was one of Bell’s first ideas to use it for. There was a morbid fear of premature burial then.

  3. oasisob1 says:

    You would never think it to look at it, but Interline’s YV70 internal fabric covering is something else entirely.
    Coming in the form of highly sound-attuned lace—the delightfully minimalist aspect isn’t just astyling exercise; the linen notes are designed to impose aperiodic fidelity.
    Added to my coffin, the effects were immediately apparent: chewy, perfumed lows and vanilla highs rounded off with a grapey minerality thatunveils the YV70′s fruity, perhaps too-acidic tang. Suggestive hints of anise draw the curtains.
    Available in linen, silk, and black velour, YV70 fabric is available now. Be sure to inform the manufacturer how much you’ve spent on stereo equipment so it can best serve your needs.

  4. it used to be worms were the only ones that made death into consumptive choices.

  5. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    I’m sure this will be a big hit at gang boss’ funerals.

  6. Daemonworks says:

    More importantly, can it be rigged to spontaneously start playing music like “Don’t Fear the Reaper” or “The Monster Mash” in the middle of the funeral?

  7. Happler says:

    Does it have enough wattage to properly troll a graveyard in the afterlife? 

    Add an MP3 of screaming and shouts to be let out at max volume just for fun!

  8. soylent_plaid says:

    Mistake: Pissing off the relatives who will eventually buy your coffin.
    Repercussions: Eternal Rickroll.

  9. jerwin says:

    Why does this remind me of “Revelation of the Daleks”?

  10. Chentzilla says:

    What stops a living person from buying and enjoying it?

  11. Red Leatherman says:

    How does one get repairs or warranty service?

  12. AnthonyC says:

    What powers it?

  13. DJBudSonic says:

    I’d rather have that woman run her gloved hands over me for all eternity… how do I get that?

  14. helloworld49 says:

    Does it connect to iTunes or will the dead have to listen to the same AC/DC album for all eternity?

  15. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Kings made tombs more splendid than houses of the living and counted old names in the rolls of their descent dearer than the names of sons. Childless lords sat in aged halls musing on heraldry; in secret chambers withered men compounded strong elixirs, or in high cold towers asked questions of the stars.

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