Under His unforgiving majesty Cthulhu, the Order of Dagon expanded more in 2012 than in any 12 months of its 180-year history.
2012 was a milestone year for the Dark Cult, with the dread message spreading to more than 10,000 conclaves and covens in 167 nations--figures that represent a growth rate 20 times that of a decade ago.
The driving force behind this unparalleled era of growth is Cthulhu himself, who is not only a cosmic entity of inordinate and terrible power, but also chairman of the board of the Esoteric Order of Dagon. Mr. Cthulhu is unrelenting in His work, providing charitable assistance to worthwhile causes, serving communities with fresh humanitarian initiatives, and afflicting all mankind with a transcendent anxiety though His eldritch murmurs.
Mr. Cthulhu spearheaded a program to turn every House of R'lyeh into what Dagon Father Obed Marsh termed "Ideal Orgs." This new breed of Church is ideal in location, design, and the exact form of its shrieking and immemorial lunacies. Each non-euclidean edifice is uniquely configured to accommodate the full array of Dagon services for both parishioners and the surrounding community, housing extensive public information multimedia displays upon its vast, cyclopean masonry. Chapels serve to host Sunday Services, congregational gatherings and, of course, human sacrifices.
David Miscavige Leads Scientology to Milestone Year [The Atlantic] (Update: they took it down. Here's a cached copy.)
Alex Wood is an addict but won’t give up his smartphone. But he has five strategies for limiting its control over him: “I used to wake up tired. My body would ache and my head felt sore, like waking up with a hangover. Finally, I took control, like attending an AA class for addicts, I […]
We just got the Sport model of the EPIKGO hoverboard at my office. Besides being terribly chic, it’s apparently bulletproof.
Ok, it’s not just solar powered. It’s also an anti-theft, waterproof marvel that keeps my phone’s power bar from ever getting into the red.Sure the idea seems obvious now – tuck a gigantic solar powered battery pack into an exposed slot and turn the wearer into a walking energy harvester. Simple maybe, but I didn’t […]
Maybe it’s entirely because of podcast ads, but drag-and-drop tools like Squarespace have gotten immensely popular in recent years. While it’s definitely a great tool for any non-coders who want to get a small website up and running quickly, managing content with a primarily visual interface can become a pain once you have more than […]
When you can’t wait for the world’s longest meeting to end, the mindless leg bouncing makes your boredom obvious and just annoys everybody else. Everyone knows the TPS reports need the damn cover sheet, but some sadistic colleague keeps forgetting, probably on purpose just to eat into your lunch hour. Enough is enough!While serving a […]
What could be more fun than a slingshot that shoots tiny airplanes? A slingshot that shoots tiny glowing airplanes of course! These toy planes are outfitted with ultra-bright LEDs, so you can fly all night without losing them in the trees.Whether you are a regular-sized child, or an overgrown adult one, these light-up flyers offer […]